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> [...] For trust issues like this, actions speak louder than words. If you're ready to help financially, the best way to prove that there are no strings attached is to make one-shot gifts. No matter what you say, a monthly check feels contingent. It's more convincing to celebrate the birth of each new baby with an early inheritance—and the suave excuse, "This will all be yours eventually, anyway." True, you're giving up control, but as computer geeks say, "That's a feature, not a bug." Grandparents' money talks louder when they surrender control. Or to be more precise, when you surrender control over your grandchildren's upbringing, you get _extra_ control over a more important outcome: their number.
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> [...] For trust issues like this, actions speak louder than words. If you're ready to help financially, the best way to prove that there are no strings attached is to make one-shot gifts. No matter what you say, a monthly check feels contingent. It's more convincing to celebrate the birth of each new baby with an early inheritance—and the suave excuse, "This will all be yours eventually, anyway." True, you're giving up control, but as computer geeks say, "That's a feature, not a bug." Grandparents' money talks louder when they surrender control. Or to be more precise, when you surrender control over your grandchildren's upbringing, you get _extra_ control over a more important outcome: their number.
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