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+Title: Codes of Conflict; Or, Smile More (working title)
+Date: 2020-01-01 
+Category: commentary
+Tags: discourse, software industry, anecdotal
+Status: draft
+
+> _This is where the party ends  
+> I can't stand here listening to you  
+> And your racist friend  
+> I know politics bore you  
+> But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you  
+> And your racist friend_
+>
+> _Out from the kitchen to the bedroom to the hallway  
+> Your friend apologizes, he could see it my way  
+> He let the contents of the bottle do the thinking  
+> Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding_
+>
+> —["Your Racist Friend"](https://genius.com/4498157) by They Might Be Giants
+
+
+It is humbling to contemplate the possibility that the only reason I haven't suffered any consequences for my writing is simply because I'm _not important enough_ to be a target—in either direction. (That is: no one hates this blog enough to bother reversing the pseudonym and making trouble for me in real life, and, conversely, my open-source and professional work isn't notable enough for anyone to bother digging to see if I have a secret gender-heresy blog.)
+
+
+Curtis Yarvin
+Rod Vagg linked to Quillette
+Opal guy said trans people are delusional
+
+I did a good job of—how do you say?—hiding my power level.
+
+"It's just that the people listening think you're an asshole and they're showing you the door"
+think I'm an asshole and are showing me the door https://xkcd.com/1357/
+
+the Uber driver who picked me up from the airport was named Omar and was from Mexico
+
+he did not know any nonbinary people
+
+"peering through reverent fingers"
+"but the situation is fraught"
+
+My Little Pony convention was more ideologically tolerant
+
+https://meteuphoric.com/2017/08/30/what-you-cant-say-to-a-sympathetic-ear/
+
+"There are views we have decided are unacceptable and we will ostracize you for having them." https://twitter.com/seldo/status/714272018976284672
+
+find the contributor covenant PR where someone wanted to carve out a personal Twitter exemption, and the counterargument mentioned naming the project in the profile
+
+https://where.coraline.codes/blog/oscon/
+
+Jerrica independently idenfitied it as a microaggression
+
+https://www.nateliason.com/blog/social-disobedience
+
+singular they for named individuals with an Anglosphere name or a beard in their profile photo
+
+I interrupted a woman, trying to finish her sentence
+
+heritability of politics actually makes sense: the moral foundations are the "true" trait, but in a particular country, that could predictably mean being a democrat
+
+https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2018/09/05/landscapes/
+
+"Politics of Process Defense" http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=8120
+
+https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/americans-are-shifting-the-rest-of-their-identity-to-match-their-politics/
+
+Damore lawsuit also quotes an instance of "40-something white men" (p. 43)
+
+https://medium.com/@yonatanzunger/so-about-this-googlers-manifesto-1e3773ed1788
+
+/2017/Aug/interlude-vii/
+
+https://twitter.com/nickmon1112/status/1041668315947708416
+http://archive.is/oqDta
+
+[the taxi man]