X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=blobdiff_plain;f=notes%2Fi-tell-myself-notes.txt;h=4470184ea925a1461cf2f0592e1558dc986d3b54;hb=da90d4aa63216317e19da7035cf7a32a886ad5d3;hp=5b0fe12bcf105c15b6bfc4d8f8e9718aa7712f4e;hpb=6026cecc8c9097c45734edd4faaac9a6fed96c59;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git

diff --git a/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt b/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt
index 5b0fe12..4470184 100644
--- a/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt
+++ b/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt
@@ -332,9 +332,27 @@ I was pretty surprised how well the coinflip post did
 
 speculating that people are lying for political cover may be "uncharitable", but what else can I do when I _can't_ take people seriously?!
 
-
 https://rationalconspiracy.com/2017/01/03/four-layers-of-intellectual-conversation/
 
 whether it's too late for the pebbles to vote https://status451.com/2016/08/10/too-late-for-the-pebbles-to-vote-part-2/
 
 A world that makes sense. A world that's not lying to me.
+
+_(But this time not for you, but just for me—)_
+
+_(Well, no more; I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door)_
+
+_(If I'm aching at the thought of you, what for? That's not me anymore)_
+
+
+The "truth/anti-truth attractors in human psychology" hypothesis feels more plausible when I emphasize the need to cover-up cover-ups as the specific mechanism for anti-truth.
+
+Introspectively, I think I can almost feel the oscillation between "I'm embarrassed and upset about {thing} that I don't want to acknowledge or explain, but that makes me not want to acknowledge or explain the fact that I feel embarrassed an upset" vs. "Yes, {thing} is real; real things are allowed to appear on maps."
+
+----
+
+an implicit don't-ask-don't-tell agreement, where they certainly had clues that something was wrong with me gender-wise, but no one had an incentive to bring it up.
+
+(Contrary to popular belief, it's not exactly ignorance that's bliss, but more generally lack of game-theoretic common knowledge: if they know, and I know that they know, but they don't know that I know that they know, that's often close enough.)
+
+For example, I seem to remember my first pair of breastforms mysteriously disappearing just after the time my mother unilaterally cleaned out my closet. (And a friend not long thereafter reported overhearing her telling his parents that she was pretty sure I wasn't gay.)