X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=blobdiff_plain;f=notes%2Fmemoir-sections.md;h=7ab4411f8093856ebcf20a780c16f338acfc817c;hb=921105a0e09bbb23d096c8a5bf0e6ffb5567ea98;hp=22fda4563518df7aff0f742f72893e9a32d9d55f;hpb=fa2659be23b3ee69a6978315a5a346c5a9a943ef;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git

diff --git a/notes/memoir-sections.md b/notes/memoir-sections.md
index 22fda45..7ab4411 100644
--- a/notes/memoir-sections.md
+++ b/notes/memoir-sections.md
@@ -9,7 +9,7 @@ _ the hill he wants to die on (conclusion for "Zevi's Choice"??)
 _ Tail vs. Bailey / Davis vs. Yudkowsky analogy (new block somewhere)
 _ mention that "Not Man for the Categories" keeps getting cited
 
-first edit pass bookmark: "In an adorable twist"
+first edit pass bookmark: "In June 2019, I made"
 
 pt. 3 edit tier—
 ✓ fullname Taylor and Hoffman at start of pt. 3
@@ -19,12 +19,9 @@ _ Ben on "locally coherent coordination": use direct quotes for Ben's language
 _ ask Sarah about context for "EA Has a Lying Problem"?
 ✓ set context for Anna on first mention in the post
 ✓ more specific on "mostly pretty horrifying" and group conversation with the whole house
-_ paragraph to explain the cheerful price bit
-_ cut words from the "Yes Requires" slapfight?
-_ better introduction of Steven Kaas
+✓ cut words from the "Yes Requires" slapfight?
 _ "Not the Incentives"—rewrite given that I'm not shielding Ray
 _ cut many words from "Social Reality" scuffle
-_ is "long May 2020" link still good?
 _ better context on "scam" &c. earlier
 _ meeting with Ray
 _ Ben's "financial fraud don't inquire as to the conscious motives of the perp" claim may be false
@@ -47,7 +44,7 @@ _ footnote explaining quibbles? (the first time I tried to write this, I hesitat
 _ "it was the same thing here"—most readers are not going to understand what I see as the obvious analogy
 _ first mention of Jack G. should introduce him properly
 _ link to protest flyer
-_ weird that Kelsey thought the issue was that we were trying to get Yudkowsky to make a statement, which he never does; from our perspective, the issue was that he _had_ made a statement, and it was wrong
+✓ weird that Kelsey thought the issue was that we were trying to get Yudkowsky to make a statement
 
 pt. 4 edit tier—
 _ mention Nick Bostrom email scandal (and his not appearing on the one-sentence CAIS statement)