My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
-I'll tell you how I became convinced that I share the same underlying psychological variation that motivates males like me to become lesbian trans women, but have been disturbed that apparently-politically-fueled cultural trends seem to be pushing people into interpreting it as an intrinsic female gender identity presumably caused by some sort of brain intersex condition for which the appropriate quality-of-life intervention is to transition, when I think it's _obviously_ not an intersex condition and that transition might not be such a good idea given the enormous costs to both oneself and others of trying to live as a woman despite _(a)_ likely not passing very well given the limitations of existing technology, and _(b)_ the conjunction of one's psychological traits noticeably being far more male-typical than female-typical. I started [this pseudonymous blog](http://unremediatedgender.space/) in an attempt to counteract the sorry state of public misinformation about the etiology of MtF transgenderedness and was going to let that be the extent of my attempts to intervene, but I soon became sufficiently upset with the level of transition cheerleading and uncritical acceptance of trans-activist ideology among my otherwise very smart and scientifically-literate social circle, that I decided to express my feelings in the form of a dramatic public Facebook meltdown, which led to much heated discussion amongst my friends, the stress of which was probably a contributing factor to my subsequent psychotic break. (If [almost](http://unremediatedgender.space/2016/Dec/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip/) everyone is [lying to me](http://unremediatedgender.space/2017/Jan/im-sick-of-being-lied-to/) about autogynephilia, maybe they're _also_ lying about whether humans actually need to sleep!)
+I'll tell you how I became convinced that I share the same underlying psychological variation that motivates males like me to become lesbian trans women, but have been disturbed that apparently-politically-fueled cultural trends seem to be pushing people into interpreting it as an intrinsic female gender identity presumably caused by some sort of brain intersex condition for which the appropriate quality-of-life intervention is to transition, when I think it's _obviously_ not an intersex condition and that transition might not be such a good idea given the enormous costs to both oneself and others of trying to live as a woman despite _(a)_ likely not passing very well given the limitations of existing technology, and _(b)_ the conjunction of one's psychological traits noticeably being far more male-typical than female-typical. I started [this pseudonymous blog](http://unremediatedgender.space/) in an attempt to counteract the sorry state of public misinformation about the etiology of MtF transgenderedness and was going to let that be the extent of my attempts to intervene, but I soon became sufficiently upset with the level of transition cheerleading and uncritical acceptance of trans-activist ideology among my otherwise very smart and scientifically-literate social circle, that I decided to express my feelings in the form of a dramatic public Facebook meltdown, which led to much heated discussion amongst my friends, the stress of which was probably a contributing factor to my subsequent psychotic break. (If [almost](http://unremediatedgender.space/2016/Dec/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip/) [everyone is lying to me](http://unremediatedgender.space/2017/Jan/im-sick-of-being-lied-to/) about autogynephilia, maybe they're _also_ lying about whether humans actually need to sleep!)
I made one little expression of suicidal ideation and my mom got scared
And called the cops, resulting in my being kidnapped by strange men who threw me in a prison/kindergarten that everyone bizarrely insists on calling a "psychiatric hospital", where I continued to have psychosis-fueled insights into the ubiquity of deception in human social life, the anthropic and decision-theoretic implications of the [simulation hypothesis](http://www.simulation-argument.com/), and how Christianity as a memeplex is highly-optimized to exploit bugs in the human mind (_in Christ there is neither male nor female_). Now I'm taking a sabbatical from my software-engineering career to study the game theory of social epistemology and blog more about the surprising true nature of late-onset gender dysphoria in males!
... the scintillating but ultimately untrue thought.
-There's a word in the psychology literature for the beautiful feeling at the center of my life: _autogynephilia_ ("love of oneself as a woman"), coined in the context of a theory that it represented one of two distinct etiologies for male-to-female transsexualism. This theory didn't seem to be the standard mainstream view, and, I learned, people get really mad at you when you mention it in a comment section, so for a long time I self-identified with the _word_ "autogynephilia", but assumed that the associated _theory_ was false. _I_ wasn't one of those people who were _actually trans_; I was just, you know, one of those guys who is pointedly insistent on not being _proud_ of the fact that they're guys, and who are erotically and romantically obsessed with the idea of being a woman.
+There's a word in the psychology literature for the beautiful feeling at the center of my life: _autogynephilia_ ("love of oneself as a woman"), coined in the context of a theory that it represented one of two distinct etiologies for male-to-female transsexualism. This theory didn't seem to be the standard mainstream view, and, I learned, people get really mad at you when you mention it in a comment section, so for a long time I self-identified with the _word_ "autogynephilia", but assumed that the associated _theory_ was false. _I_ wasn't one of those people who were _actually trans_; I was just, you know, one of those guys who is pointedly insistent on not being _proud_ of the fact that they're guys. (And who dimly suspects that this is somehow causually related to [...])
Recent life events led me to do some reading—Kay Brown's blog [_On the Science of Changing Sex_](https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/), Anne Lawrence's [_Men Trapped in Men's Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism_](http://www.annelawrence.com/mtimb.html), and Imogen Binnie's novel [_Nevada_](http://haveyoureadnevada.com/) (this item is reverse-scored)—and I concluded that, no, wait, actually the theory looks _correct_, and I _do_ have the same underlying psychological condition that leads people to transition. That in fact, my story till now may even be _typical_ of people who transition in their thirties, right up to the ["Oh, I just want to _experiment_ with hormones, I'm not actually going to _transition_" part](http://unremediatedgender.space/2017/Jan/the-line-in-the-sand-or-my-slippery-slope-anchoring-action-plan/) (although I still think I'm smarter than that).
>
> —"Brave" by Sara Bareilles
-> Not what teacher said to do
-> Making dreams come true
-> Living tissue, warm flesh, weird science!
->
-> —"Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo
-
> "My dear, let us hope it is not true; but, if it is true, let us hope it will not become generally known."
>
> —[probably apocryphal](http://quoteinvestigator.com/2011/02/09/darwinism-hope-pray/) reaction to Darwin's theory of natural selection
> —[Devin Helton](http://devinhelton.com/historical-amnesia.html)
Moliere on "dormative virtue"
+
+> I don't want to sabotage you
+> But you see, I've got to try
+>
+> —"I'll Fly", _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic_
+
+(the story of my name??)
+> Sometimes the things you want
+> Are not the things you need
+> And it was right there in front of me
+>
+> —"Right There in Front of Me", _My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Friendship Games_
+
+> MUGATU
+> The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Crossdresser, demigirl, trans woman? They're the _same people_!
+>
+> Doesn't anyone notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!
+>
+> —[_Zoolander_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbKBWtoH93Q) (paraphrased)
-Fresh Princess
-
-Worlds Collide
+REQUEUE—
+(story about pharmacy and words)
+Q Don't Negotiate With Terrorist Memeplexes; Or, Why I Don't Care About Your Feelings
+Nobody's Victim; Or, This Is Worth a Fight
+A Common Misunderstanding; Or, the Spirit of the Staircase ()
+Grim Trigger; Or, the Parable of the Honest Man and the God of Marketing
+Faster Than Science (Transgender Edition)
+"I Will Fight"; Or, Stop Praising _Steven Universe_ for LGBT Representation
+There's a Land That I See; Or, the Spirit of Intervention
+People Really Don't Know Why They Do Things
+Lies to Cis People Are, Unfortunately, Still Lies
+Q An Infovist's Advisory; Or, Standing Athwart History Yelling, "Wait! I Like the Idea, But the Implementation Details Need Work!"
+Q Time Travel Isn't Real; Or, Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman
+Q Simple Models Plus Noise Are Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model
+Q Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer; Or, Could Self-Reports Really Be That Wrong??
+Q Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals
The Categories Were Made for Man, But It's Useful for Renegotiations of Category Boundaries to Emphasize Predictive Accuracy
-Lies to Cis People Are, Unfortunately, Still Lies (this is an attempt to enforce social norms, not an attempt to inform; that makes sense if you want to be part of the coalition enforcing those norms, but those norms also make it impossible to talk about psychology)
-People Really Don't Know Why They Do Things
+* Mary's Room
+Q The Hand I Was Dealt
+_ Against Maximum-Entropy Psychology; Or, High-Dimensional Social Science and the Cluster Concept of Concepts
+_ Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition
+_ The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition
+
+Q The View From Nowhere
+Q As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb; Or, You Can't Spell "Narcisstic Rage" Without "Cis": My Struggle to Keep It Charitable
+Q Review of Nevada
The Aristocrats
-A Common Misunderstanding; Or, the Spirit of the Staircase ()
-Grim Trigger; Or, the Parable of the Honest Man and the God of Marketing
-Faster Than Science (Transgender Edition)
-There's a Land That I See; Or, the Spirit of Intervention
Yalta (https://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-essential-conflict/ "What's in it for me?" "You're the one who doesn't believe in personal identity—you should be happy for us")
O Wad Some Power the Giftie Gie Us; Or, the Identity Dysphoria Trap (school dysphoria)
Fertility
Externalize Everything
HEAVY CORE POSTS—
-Q Don't Negotiate With Terrorist Memeplexes; Or, Why I Don't Care About Your Feelings
-Q An Infovist's Advisory; Or, Standing Athwart History Yelling, "Wait! I Like the Idea, But the Implementation Details Need Work!"
-Q Time Travel Isn't Real; Or, Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman
-Q The View From Nowhere
-Q As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb; Or, You Can't Spell "Narcisstic Rage" Without "Cis": My Struggle to Keep It Charitable
-Q Review of Nevada
-_ Against Maximum-Entropy Psychology; Or, High-Dimensional Social Science and the Cluster Concept of Concepts
-_ Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition
-_ The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition
-Q Simple Models Plus Noise Are Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model
-* Mary's Room
-Q The Hand I Was Dealt
-Q Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer; Or, Could Self-Reports Really Be That Wrong??
-Q Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals
-
+Worlds Collide
------
"The Distance Between Mars and Venus: Measuring Global Sex Differences in Personality" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0029265
Stop Expecting Social Reality to Make Sense
-
re simple models are better: https://evolutionistx.wordpress.com/2017/01/12/conservatives-over-generalize-liberals-under-generalize/
clumpy thingspace!— https://darwinianreactionary.wordpress.com/2014/05/23/race-and-realism-part-2/
not a masculine, macho man, but, you know, the biologically-male kind of man
https://transwidow.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/the-masculinity-of-mtf-transition/
+
+Blanchard tweets me: https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD/status/830580552562524160
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / commitdiff