I had been feeling bleh about the project, even though I'm so close to
being able to ship pt.s 1–3: I've been resisting even outlining the
parts about being insane, because it hurts to look at. But reading
over the first part and making line edits, I'm reminded that this is
good stuff! I want to ship this as soon as possible!
If I'm feeling trepidatious ("You mean trepidations, the noun?" "No.")
about the parts that are about psychosis rather than about
autogynephilia, that's all the more reason to work hard to make those
publishable, rather than feeling afraid and gross about it, and
continuing to waste my short life on not-writing and
not-having-written!
(There's an obvious third alternative of just cutting the parts that I
feel doubts about, but I think the psychosis is actually part of the
story, not something I can skip or gloss over in a paragraph. I might
very well want to cut down some of the thousands of words I've
written, if it turns out that I don't like them and they're not as
relevant to the my grand theses about Society. But I need to at least
try to tell the story about being crazy first, before I cut it down
and scale it back.)