tap at "Sexual Dimorphism"

I've been lazy, but it's time to make something of what's left of my
Sunday

diff --git a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md
index ce28f47..ee2e806 100644 (file)
--- a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md
+++ b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md
@@ -30,9 +30,20 @@ Or when I would practice swirling the descenders on all the lowercase letters th
 
 The beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing doesn't _feel_ explicitly erotic. The thing I did in the day in class about writing in my notebook about being a girl, was _very different_ from the thing I did in my room at night about _visualizing_ girls with this abstract sense of "But what if that were _me_?" while furiously masturbating. The former activity was my beautiful pure happy romantic daydream, whereas the latter activity was not beautiful or pure at all!
 
-Now I am not a cognitive psychologist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it seems like a _pretty obvious guess_ that there must have been _some sort of causal relationship_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_.
+Now I am not a cognitive scientist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it seems like a _pretty obvious guess_ that there must have been _some sort of causal relationship_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_.
+
+Maybe this story reads differently in 2020 from how it was to live in 2005? I think that teenage boys in today's world having the kind of feelings I was having then, upon referencing or hinting at the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing
+
+(and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is _much_ easier to talk about that the erotic thing)
+
+are immediately provided with "Oh, that means you're not a cis boy; you're a trans girl" as the definitive explanation.
+
+But it was a different time, then. Of course I had _heard of_ transsexualism as a thing. 
+
+
+
+
 
-I guess this story reads differently in 2020 from how it was to live in 2005? I think that teenage boys in today's world, having the kind of feelings I was having then, are immediately provided with "You're not a cis boy; you're a trans girl" as an explanation.
 
 
 

diff --git a/notes/notes.txt b/notes/notes.txt
index f82a33d..22d4cb8 100644 (file)
--- a/notes/notes.txt
+++ b/notes/notes.txt
@@ -2011,3 +2011,5 @@ But I guess you probably don't trust my rationality that much? Like, I expect us
 Sorry if that observation was boring.
 
 https://uncommongroundmedia.com/deconstructing-the-good-transwomen/
+
+NYT—"Who Should Compete in Women's Sports? There Are 'Two Almost Irreconcilable Positions'": https://archive.is/Ckygw