Sunday redemption hypercycle 10: compiling more breakdown details

Looking through my Messenger history from the time of my crisis is
bringing up a lot of buried memories!

I ordered takeout as a reward for being so "good" at writing today
(not in terms of wordcount, but in terms of keeping the attention
momentum going), so I'm going to eat that and watch _Star Trek:
Strange New Worlds_ now, but I might have a couple more commits before
bed.

diff --git a/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md b/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md
index bd1537b..a9e8768 100644 (file)
--- a/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md
+++ b/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md
@@ -236,12 +236,33 @@ Gatekeeping sessions finished, I finally started HRT at the end of December 2016
 Then it blossomed into an extended tantrum on my own wall—
 31 posts total between—"some of you may have noticed" Sat 11 Feb, and promising to quite Facebook for a week 0844 15 Feburary
 
-self-awareness
+my terrible date with Anna T. was actually on 12 February—that explains why I remember being so distracted!
+
+I had some self-awareness that I was going off the rails—
 > She had a delusional mental breakdown; you're a little bit manic; I'm in the Avatar state. https://www.facebook.com/zmdavis/posts/10154813104220199
 
+sent Anna T. Oops / Ooops / Cooperate 6x messages on Thu 16 Feb at around 1530 ...
+
+
+Ziz: Vassar was talking about you recently approvingly, having read your facebook wall. Something about a war between being able to think and gaslighting.
+Like he named you as one of three fronts the war is playing out on. Jack also seemed to agree. \"Sarah vs Ben, Rob vs Ben Todd, Zack Davis vs the world  Thu Feb 16 2017 16:06:42 GMT-0800
+
+I remember being afraid that the thing that happened to Eliezer and then Scott was going to happen to me, and that it would be bad; I told Ben, "I don't think I want to be the Avatar yet" Thu Feb 16 2017 15:51:32
+
+to Ben: "I'm so sorry; I want to be part of the coalition but I'm so confused; and the fact that I was confused made me say Defect a bunch of time" Fri Feb 17 2017 14:23:53
+
+to Ben: "I thought I got a message from Michael Vassar saying that the main coalitions were you, and Sarah Constantine, and Zack Davis vs. the world" Fri Feb 17 2017 14:30:55 GMT-0800
+
+scared that Orion was going to kill me
+
+to Ben: You can use police cars as Ubers???? Fri Feb 17 2017 15:19:59 GMT-0800
+
+/2017/Mar/fresh-princess/
+/2017/Jun/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words/
+
 ]
 
-[TODO: where does my terrible date with Anna T. fit in chronologically??]
+
 
 [TODO: one thing that kept coming up during the private and Facebook discussions was this category boundary argument—including, e.g., with MIRI comms director Rob Bensinger. That part, I knew I could win]