Relevantly, "Wilhelm" [was also autogynephilic](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/QZs4vkC7cbyjL9XA9/changing-emotions?commentId=93u4sgeARSHfPkqPN) (and aware of it, under that name). The first time I had ever gone crossdressing in public was at a drag event with him in 2010.
-As it happened, I had just messaged him a few days earlier, on 22 March 2016, for the first time in four and a half years. (My opening message: "Ray Blanchard's Twitter feed is kind of disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting".) I confided to him that I was seeing an escort on Saturday the twenty-sixth[^twenty-sixth] because the dating market was looking pretty hopeless, I had more money than I knew what to do with, and three female friends agreed that it was not unethical.[^unethical]
+<a id="confided-to-wilhelm"></a>As it happened, I had just messaged him a few days earlier, on 22 March 2016, for the first time in four and a half years. (My opening message: "Ray Blanchard's Twitter feed is kind of disappointing, but I'm not sure what I was expecting".) I confided to him that I was seeing an escort on Saturday the twenty-sixth[^twenty-sixth] because the dating market was looking pretty hopeless, I had more money than I knew what to do with, and three female friends agreed that it was not unethical.[^unethical]
[^internship]: "Internship" is in scare quotes, because the Singularity Institute at the time was not the kind of organization that offered formal _internships_; what I mean is that there was a house in Santa Clara where a handful of people were trying to do Singularity-relevant work, and I was allowed to sleep in the garage and also try to do work, without being paid.
marked TODO blocks—
+- Boston [pt. 5]
+_ I wish Richard Feynman was trans [pt. 2]
- social justice and defying threats [pt. 5]
- Jessica's experience at MIRI and CfAR [pt. 5]
_ last email and not bothering him [pt. 5]
-_ New York visit [pt. 5]
+_ autogenderphilia (in-line section) [pt. 4]
+_ New York [pt. 5]
+_ reaction to Ziz [pt. 4]
_ "Unnatural Categories Are Optimized for Deception" [pt. 4]
_ the Death With Dignity era [pt. 5]
_ scuffle on "Yes Requires the Possibility" [pt. 4]
_ regrets, wasted time, conclusion [pt. 5]
- "Agreeing with Stalin" recap intro [pt. 5]
-
not even blocked—
_ Re: on legitimacy and the entrepreneur; or, continuing the attempt to spread my sociopathic awakening onto Scott [pt. 2 somewhere]
_ running away to Burlingame; Hamilton tickets
-_ I wish Richard Feynman was trans
_ "Even our pollution is beneficial"
_ include Wilhelm "Gender Czar" conversation? [pt. 2]
_ psychiatric disaster
_ the story of my Feb. 2017 Facebook crusade [pt. 2]
_ the story of my Feb./Apr. 2017 recent madness [pt. 2]
-_ reaction to Ziz
+
New (bad) time estimate:
With internet available—
+_ Whining-Based Communities
+_ Feynman strip club anecdote?? And reference in "In the Ruins"
+_ When did I buy the Susan Pinker book? Probably 2008 (confirm date of "Those are magnets")
_ Ione "good things don't cancel out bad things"
_ escort photo comment
_ love to know some positive integer number of plans
_ secret posse member pointing out that it worked better because it was Oli
_ update "karma at press time"
_ better explain "lie inflation" ambiguity
+_ Facing Reality
_ backlink condemning Emperor Norton Conspiracy
_ backlink AGP in women post (time permitting) in pt. 2 "don't think it's the same thing"
_ backlink "I've decided to drop the pseudonym" to pen name drop post
_ backlink "I again refer to" Happy Price
_ backlink "(again) whether he accepted the Cheerful Price"
_ backlink "alter the beacon"
+_ backlink only seen an escort once before (#confided-to-wilhelm)
terms to explain on first mention—
_ Valinor
> my suspicion is that not many sadists in dath ilan know what they are and Civilization tries to prevent us from finding out, because dath ilan does not have masochists.
https://www.truthdig.com/dig/nick-bostrom-longtermism-and-the-eternal-return-of-eugenics/
+
+https://graymirror.substack.com/p/the-boomer-map
+> The lower class _wants_ an upper class it can genuinely look up to. The feeling that Harvard has gone insane is like realizing that Mom and Dad are both on heroin.
+
+25 January 2022: I hesitated for a long time before leaving a comment about Cicero on the Alexander/Yudkowsky dialogue, shows I'm still culty (calculating whether I'm allowed to speak on a post he coauthored; I linked "EA should blurt")
+
+J.D.P. on rationalism's failure
+https://extropian.net/notice/ARvZ3pimn8JQIe4yGG
+
+In one of my notebooks from 2008, I had written, ""
+
+Friend of the blog Ninety-Three—
+> It's like admiring a society that solves crime by having secret police shoot all bad people in the head. What the fuck!? I suddenly have empathy for the experience of seeing your cult defiled. If I got Isekaied onto dath ilan I would _become a terrorist_.
+
+(Terrorism wouldn't work)
+
+Sep 27 text to "Chaya"—
+In theory, the bad influence could go both ways: first, successful playdate, then I mention to A. afterwards (not before) that C. is actually a boy and I think it's crazy everyone is pretending otherwise (which remark is out of their censorship jurisdiction); then if C. wants a repeat with new friend (far from guaranteed, but plausible), it's not your fault if A. leaks information of her own will ...
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / commitdiff