From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Mon, 1 May 2023 22:43:23 +0000 (-0700) Subject: memoir: stub out a pt. 8?!—this is retarded X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=commitdiff_plain;h=244335686aefed26bf1764c495c65e9a3e7fcfcb;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git memoir: stub out a pt. 8?!—this is retarded The story was supposed to end with the Eliezerfic fight! Even as the early 2023 moderation slapfight started escalating, I had thought it was out-of-scope for the memoir—I was just going to say, "I got into another slapfight about me being un-collaborative, which is not interesting enough to summarize." But the persecution of Said is significant enough that it becomes part of the story, and actually throws stuff from back in "If Clarity" into new light: previously, Said only merited one brief mention (in the Vanessa slapfight; I wasn't even going to mention his role in the Ruby slapfight), and I was intending to self-censor a bit in order to not attack Ruby and Ray (who don't seem like "public figures" who are fair game for attack the way that Yudkowsky and Alexander are). Now, Said's role looks much more significant in retrospect, Ruby and Ray's psychology seems important (rather than censorable), there are parallels to explore between Said's scapegoating and Michael's ... all in all, I'm feeling that I don't want to publish "If Clarity" onwards until the moderation fight is resolved—but that's 25 July at the earliest! In light of this development, I think I want to polish and publish just pt. 1–3 (I guess I'm dropping the numbering scheme where "Sexual Dimorphism" was pt. 1?), "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea" to "Hill of Validity", and get it out in June—which doesn't mean abandoning the other parts of the ms., but does mean dropping them from my immediate publishing target (while the Said situation is still unresolved and I still have active bad feelings about it). --- diff --git a/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md b/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md index 8d9fe7f..a80233b 100644 --- a/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md +++ b/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md @@ -576,18 +576,3 @@ That was interesting. April's profile said she was 19 years old and transfeminin [TODO: someone said "the word in their language doesn't match the word in yours"; and got a +1 emoji; I resisted the temptation to say "So ... I can define a word any way I want"; I call a killthread.] [TODO: I made a few more comments about kitchen knife deception (and let my friends talk me down from making more). I'm not worried about what he thinks about me anymore.] - ------- - -Anyway, that—briefly (I mean it)—is the Whole Dumb Story about how I wasted the last seven years of my life. It's probably not that interesting? Life goes on—for now. My dayjob contract expired at the end of 2022. In 2023, I've been finishing up this memoir, and posting some other ideas to _Less Wrong_. (I got into another slapfight about me being un-collaborative, which is not interesting enough to summarize.) - -After this, the AI situation is looking worrying enough, that I'm thinking I should try to do some more direct xrisk-reduction work, although I haven't definitely selected any particular job or project. (It probably won't matter, but it will be dignified.) Now that the shape of the threat is on the horizon, I think I'm less afraid of being directly involved. Something about having large language models to study in the 'twenties is—grounding, compared to the superstitious fears of the paperclip boogeyman of my nightmares in the 'teens. - -Like all intellectuals, as a teenager I imagined that I would write a book. It was always going to be about gender, but I was vaguely imagining a novel, which never got beyond vague imaginings. That was before the Sequences. I'm 35 years old now. I think my intellectual life has succeeded in ways I didn't know how to imagine, before. I think my past self would be proud of this blog—140,000 words of blog posts stapled together is _morally_ a book—once he got over the shock of heresy. - -[TODO conclusion, cont'd— - * Do I have regrets about this Whole Dumb Story? A lot, surely—it's been a lot of wasted time. But it's also hard to say what I should have done differently; I could have listened to Ben more and lost faith Yudkowsky earlier, but he had earned a lot of benefit of the doubt? - * even young smart AGPs who can appreciate my work have still gotten pinkpilled - * Jonah had told me that my planning horizon was too short—like the future past a year wasn't real to me. (This plausibly also explains my impatience with college.) My horizon is starting to broaden as AI timelines shorten - * less drama (in my youth, I would have been proud that at least this vice was a feminine trait; now, I prefer to be good even if that means being a good man) -] diff --git a/content/drafts/the-last-indictment.md b/content/drafts/the-last-indictment.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3448f77 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/the-last-indictment.md @@ -0,0 +1,41 @@ +Title: The Last Indictment +Author: Zack M. Davis +Date: 2023-07-01 11:00 +Category: commentary +Tags: autogynephilia, bullet-biting, cathartic, Eliezer Yudkowsky, Scott Alexander, epistemic horror, my robot cult, personal, sex differences, two-type taxonomy, whale metaphors +Status: draft + +> Would you smile to see him dead? Would you say, "We are rid of this obscenist"? Fools! The corpse would laugh at you from its cold eyelids! The motionless lips would mock, and the solemn hands, the pulseless, folded hands, in their quietness would write the last indictment, which neither Time nor you can efface. Kill him! And you write his glory and your shame! Said Achmiz in his felon stripes stands far above you now, and Said Achmiz _dead_ will live on, immortal in the race he died to free! Kill him! +> +> —[Voltairine de Cleyre](https://praxeology.net/VC-SS.htm) (paraphrased) + +[TODO—early 2023 moderation drama + * In early 2023, I was trying to finish up this memoir, but while procrastinating on that, I ended up writing a few other posts for _Less Wrong_; I thought the story of my war with the "rationalists" was relevantly "over"; I didn't anticipate things getting any "worse" + * I happened to see that Duncan Sabien's "Basics of Rationalists Discourse" was published + * Backstory: Sabien is a former CfAR employee whose Facebook posts I had used to comment on. He had a history of getting offended over things that I didn't think were important—all the way back to our very first interaction in 2017 (I remember being in Portland using Facebook/Messenger on my phone) + + ... + + + * I was reluctant to ping Oli (the way I pung Babcock and Pace) because I still "owed" him for the comment on "Challenges", but ultimately ended up sending a Twitter DM just after the verdict (when I saw that he had very-recent reply Tweets and was thus online); I felt a little bit worse about that one (the "FYI I'm at war"), but I think I de-escalated OK and he didn't seem to take it personally + + + ... + + * I'm proud of the keeping-my-cool performance when Duncan was mad at me, less proud of my performance fighting for Said so far + + ... + + * In the Ruby slapfight, I was explicit about "You shouldn't be making moderation decisions based on seniority"—this time, I've moved on to just making decisions based on seniority; if we're doing consequentialism based on how to attract people to the website, it's clear that there are no purer standards left to appeal to +] + +After this, the AI situation is looking worrying enough, that I'm thinking I should try to do some more direct xrisk-reduction work, although I haven't definitely selected any particular job or project. (It probably won't matter, but it will be dignified.) Now that the shape of the threat is on the horizon, I think I'm less afraid of being directly involved. Something about having large language models to study in the 'twenties is—grounding, compared to the superstitious fears of the paperclip boogeyman of my nightmares in the 'teens. + +Like all intellectuals, as a teenager I imagined that I would write a book. It was always going to be about gender, but I was vaguely imagining a novel, which never got beyond vague imaginings. That was before the Sequences. I'm 35 years old now. I think my intellectual life has succeeded in ways I didn't know how to imagine, before. I think my past self would be proud of this blog—140,000 words of blog posts stapled together is _morally_ a book—once he got over the shock of heresy. + +[TODO conclusion, cont'd— + * Do I have regrets about this Whole Dumb Story? A lot, surely—it's been a lot of wasted time. But it's also hard to say what I should have done differently; I could have listened to Ben more and lost faith Yudkowsky earlier, but he had earned a lot of benefit of the doubt? + * even young smart AGPs who can appreciate my work have still gotten pinkpilled + * Jonah had told me that my planning horizon was too short—like the future past a year wasn't real to me. (This plausibly also explains my impatience with college.) My horizon is starting to broaden as AI timelines shorten + * less drama (in my youth, I would have been proud that at least this vice was a feminine trait; now, I prefer to be good even if that means being a good man) +] diff --git a/notes/memoir_wordcounts.py b/notes/memoir_wordcounts.py index 19b2870..2728116 100755 --- a/notes/memoir_wordcounts.py +++ b/notes/memoir_wordcounts.py @@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ MONTHS = { } def wordcount_at_this_sha(): - result = subprocess.run("wc -w content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md content/drafts/people-evolved-social-control-mechanisms-and-rocks.md content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md content/drafts/agreeing-with-stalin-in-ways-that-exhibit-generally-rationalist-principles.md content/drafts/zevis-choice.md content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md".split(), stdout=subprocess.PIPE) + result = subprocess.run("wc -w content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md content/drafts/people-evolved-social-control-mechanisms-and-rocks.md content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md content/drafts/agreeing-with-stalin-in-ways-that-exhibit-generally-rationalist-principles.md content/drafts/zevis-choice.md content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md content/drafts/the-last-indictment.md".split(), stdout=subprocess.PIPE) wc_lines = result.stdout.decode('utf8').split('\n') total_line = wc_lines[-2] # last line is empty return int(total_line.split()[0])