From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Sat, 22 Oct 2022 00:30:57 +0000 (-0700) Subject: memoir: can't leave well enough alone X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=commitdiff_plain;h=4b3122953f0304b39fc56b0d922ba9bfd9a9f48b;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git memoir: can't leave well enough alone --- diff --git a/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md b/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md index 6e09ecd..4b0b535 100644 --- a/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md +++ b/content/drafts/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning.md @@ -644,7 +644,7 @@ These two datapoints led me to a psychological hypothesis (which was maybe "obvi ---- -I started drafting a "why I've been upset for five months and have lost faith in the so-called 'rationalist' community" personal-narrative Diary-like post. Ben said that the target audience to aim for was people like I was a few years ago, who hadn't yet had the experiences I had—so they wouldn't have to freak out to the point of being imprisoned and demand help from community leaders and not get it; they could just learn from me. That is, the actual sympathetic-but-naïve people could learn. Not the people messing with me. +I started drafting a "why I've been upset for five months and have lost faith in the so-called 'rationalist' community" memoir-post. Ben said that the target audience to aim for was people like I was a few years ago, who hadn't yet had the experiences I had—so they wouldn't have to freak out to the point of being imprisoned and demand help from community leaders and not get it; they could just learn from me. That is, the actual sympathetic-but-naïve people could learn. Not the people messing with me. I didn't know how to continue it. I was too psychologically constrained; I didn't know how to tell the Whole Dumb Story without (as I perceived it) escalating personal conflicts or leaking info from private conversations. @@ -785,31 +785,41 @@ Math and Wellness Month ended up being mostly a failure: the only math I ended u * I needed to exhaust all possible avenues of appeal before it became real to me; the first morning where "rationalists ... them" felt more natural than "rationalists ... us" ] - [TODO: Michael Vassar and the theory of optimal gossip; make sure to include the part about Michael threatening to sue] -[TODO: transition about still having trouble with memoir? double-check Git log to make sure this is right chronologically] +[TODO: State of Steven] -I found it trouble to make progress on. I felt—constrained. I didn't know how to tell the story without (as I perceived it) escalating personal conflicts or leaking info from private conversations. So instead, I mostly turned to a combination of writing bitter and insulting comments whenever I saw someone praise "the rationalists" collectively, and—more philosophy-of-language blogging! +I still wanted to finish the memoir-post mourning the "rationalists", but I still felt psychologically constraint; I was still bound by internal silencing-chains. So instead, I mostly turned to a combination of writing bitter and insulting comments whenever I saw someone praise the "rationalists" collectively (if you are silent about your pain, _they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it_), and—more philosophy-of-language blogging! -In August's ["Schelling Categories, and Simple Membership Tests"](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/edEXi4SpkXfvaX42j/schelling-categories-and-simple-membership-tests), I explained a nuance that had only merited a passion mention in "... Boundaries?": sometimes you might want categories for different agents to _coordinate_ on, even at the cost of some statistical "fit." (This was of course generalized from a "pro-trans" argument that had occured to me, [that self-identity is an easy Schelling point when different people disagree about what "gender" they perceive someone as](/2019/Oct/self-identity-is-a-schelling-point/).) +In August 2019's ["Schelling Categories, and Simple Membership Tests"](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/edEXi4SpkXfvaX42j/schelling-categories-and-simple-membership-tests), I explained a nuance that had only merited a passion mention in "... Boundaries?": sometimes you might want categories for different agents to _coordinate_ on, even at the cost of some statistical "fit." (This was of course generalized from a "pro-trans" argument that had occured to me, [that self-identity is an easy Schelling point when different people disagree about what "gender" they perceive someone as](/2019/Oct/self-identity-is-a-schelling-point/).) -[TODO— more blogging 2019 +In September 2019's "Heads I Win, Tails?—Never Heard of Her; Or, Selective Reporting and the Tragedy of the Green Rationalists" [TODO: ... I was surprised by how well this did (high karma, later included in the best-of-2019 collection); Ben and Jessica had discouraged me from bothering] -"Algorithms of Deception!" Oct 2019 +In October 2019's "Algorithms of Deception!", I explained [TODO: ...] -"Maybe Lying Doesn't Exist" Oct 2019 +Also in October 2019, in "Maybe Lying Doesn't Exist" [TODO: ... I was _furious_ at "Against Lie Inflation"—oh, so _now_ you agree that making language less useful is a problem?! But then I realized Scott actually was being consistent in his own frame: he's counting "everyone is angrier" (because of more frequent lying-accusations) as a cost; but, if everyone _is_ lying, maybe they should be angry!] -I was _furious_ at "Against Lie Inflation"—oh, so _now_ you agree that making language less useful is a problem?! But then I realized Scott actually was being consistent in his own frame: he's counting "everyone is angrier" (because of more frequent lying-accusations) as a cost; but, if everyone _is_ lying, maybe they should be angry! +------ -"Heads I Win" Sep 2019: I was surprised by how well this did (high karma, later included in the best-of-2019 collection); Ben and Jessica had discouraged me from bothering after I +I continued to take note of signs of contemporary Yudkowsky visibly not being the same author who wrote the Sequences. In August 2019, [he Tweeted](https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1164241431629721600): -"Firming Up ..." Dec 2019: combatting Yudkowsky's not-technically-lying shenanigans -] +> I am actively hostile to neoreaction and the alt-right, routinely block such people from commenting on my Twitter feed, and make it clear that I do not welcome support from those quarters. Anyone insinuating otherwise is uninformed, or deceptive. -[TODO: Yudkowsky throwing NRx under the bus; tragedy of recursive silencing -15 Sep Glen Weyl apology -] +[TODO: I objected that he shouldn't pay the Danegeld like this] + +When I emailed the posse about it begging for Likes (Subject: "can't leave well enough alone"), Jessica said she didn't get my point. If people are falsely accusing you of something (in this case, of being a right-wing Bad Guy), isn't it helpful to point out that the accusation is actually false? It seemed like I was advocating for self-censorship on the grounds that speaking up helps the false accusers. But it also helps bystanders (by correcting the misapprehension), and hurts the false accusers (by demonstrating to bystanders that the accusers are making things up). By linking to ["Kolmogorov Complicity"](http://slatestarcodex.com/2017/10/23/kolmogorov-complicity-and-the-parable-of-lightning/), I seemed to be insinuating that Yudkowsky was under some sort of duress, but this wasn't spelled out: if Yudkowsky would face social punishment for advancing right-wing opinions, did that mean he was under such duress that saying anything at all would be helping the oppressors? + +The paragraph from "Kolmogorov Complicity" that I was thinking of was (bolding mine): + +> Some other beliefs will be found to correlate heavily with lightning-heresy. Maybe atheists are more often lightning-heretics; maybe believers in global warming are too. The enemies of these groups will have a new cudgel to beat them with, "If you believers in global warming are so smart and scientific, how come so many of you believe in lightning, huh?" **Even the savvy Kolmogorovs within the global warming community will be forced to admit that their theory just seems to attract uniquely crappy people. It won't be very convincing.** Any position correlated with being truth-seeking and intelligent will be always on the retreat, having to forever apologize that so many members of their movement screw up the lightning question so badly. + +I perceived a pattern where people who are in trouble with the orthodoxy feel an incentive to buy their own safety by denouncing _other_ heretics: not just _disagreeing_ with the other heretics _because those other heresies are in fact mistaken_, which would be right and proper Discourse, but denouncing them ("actively hostile to") as a way of paying Danegeld. + +Suppose there are five true heresies, but anyone who's on the record believing more than one gets burned as a witch. Then it's impossible to have a unified rationalist community, because people who want to talk about one heresy can't let themselves be seen in the company of people who believe another. That's why Scott Alexander couldn't get the philosophy-of-categorization right in full generality (even though he's [written](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/yCWPkLi8wJvewPbEp/the-noncentral-fallacy-the-worst-argument-in-the-world) [exhaustively](https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/11/03/all-in-all-another-brick-in-the-motte/) about the correct way, and he and I have a common enemy in the social-justice egregore): _he couldn't afford to_. He'd already spent his Overton budget on anti-feminism. + +[TODO: ... remainder of "can't leave well enough alone" conversation] + +----- In November 2019, I received an interesting reply on my philosophy-of-categorization thesis from MIRI researcher Abram Demski. Abram asked: ideally, shouldn't all conceptual boundaries be drawn with appeal-to-consequences? Wasn't the problem just with bad (motivated, shortsighted) appeals to consequences? Agents categorize in order to make decisions. The best classifer for an application depends on the costs and benefits. As a classic example, it's very important for evolved prey animals to avoid predators, so it makes sense for their predator-detection classifiers to be configured such that they jump away from every rustling in the bushes, even if it's usually not a predator. @@ -837,6 +847,8 @@ I said I would bite that bullet: yes! Yes, I was trying to figure out whether I [TODO: a culture that has gone off the rails; my warning points to Vaniver] +[TODO: "Firming Up ..." Dec 2019: combatting Yudkowsky's not-technically-lying shenanigans] + [TODO: plan to reach out to Rick] [TODO: @@ -905,8 +917,6 @@ Given that I spent so many hours on this little research/writing project in earl ----- -[TODO: "Human Diversity" review; all swans are white!] - [TODO: pandemic starts] [TODO: "Autogenderphilia Is Common" https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/02/10/autogenderphilia-is-common-and-not-especially-related-to-transgender/] diff --git a/notes/a-hill-of-validity-sections.md b/notes/a-hill-of-validity-sections.md index 6a4a3dc..18142a1 100644 --- a/notes/a-hill-of-validity-sections.md +++ b/notes/a-hill-of-validity-sections.md @@ -4,7 +4,9 @@ _ giving up on him, don't want to waste any more time, last email With internet available— +_ my public objection to Yudkowsky's denunciation of NRx https://twitter.com/zackmdavis/status/1164259164819845120 _ except when it's net bad to have concluded Y: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/BgEG9RZBtQMLGuqm7/[Error%20communicating%20with%20LW2%20server]/comment/LgLx6AD94c2odFxs4 +_ my history of sniping in Yudkowsky's mentions _ comments on "Self-Consciousness wants to make" _ Scott vs. Ben on Drowning Children _ Ray and D. Xu's comments on "The Incentives" @@ -90,7 +92,12 @@ _ maybe Kelsey (very briefly, just about her name)? _ maybe SK (briefly about his name)? (the memoir might have the opposite problem (too long) from my hostile-shorthand Twitter snipes) (maybe don't bother with Michael?) +marketing— +_ Twitter +_ Facebook +_ Less Wrong _ should I buy Twitter ads to increase reach?? +_ TheMotte.org things to bring up in consultation emails— _ dropping "and Scott" in Jessica's description of attacking narcissim @@ -1197,8 +1204,9 @@ If you _don't_ have intent-to-inform, but make sure to never, ever say false thi bitter comments about rationalists— https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/qXwmMkEBLL59NkvYR/the-lesswrong-2018-review-posts-need-at-least-2-nominations/comment/d4RrEizzH85BdCPhE +https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/tkuknrjYCbaDoZEh5/could-we-solve-this-email-mess-if-we-all-moved-to-paid/comment/ZkreTspP599RBKsi7 + -(If you are silent about your pain, _they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it_.) ------ @@ -1214,6 +1222,9 @@ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_facts "epistemic hero" https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1096769579362115584 +https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1096769579362115584 +> When an epistemic hero seems to believe something crazy, you are often better off questioning "seems to believe" before questioning "crazy", and both should be questioned before shaking your head sadly about the mortal frailty of your heroes. + https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1434906470248636419 > Anyways, Scott, this is just the usual division of labor in our caliphate: we're both always right, but you cater to the crowd that wants to hear it from somebody too modest to admit that, and I cater to the crowd that wants somebody out of that closet. @@ -1499,3 +1510,4 @@ what's really weird is having a delusion, knowing it's a delusion, and _everyone ... and I'm not allowed to say that without drawing on my diplomacy budget, which puts a permanent distance between me and the group you can't imagine contemporary Yudkowsky adhering to Crocker's rules (http://sl4.org/crocker.html) + diff --git a/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt b/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt index 05d38c0..9f14598 100644 --- a/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt +++ b/notes/i-tell-myself-notes.txt @@ -506,7 +506,6 @@ Steve said it's funny that Ziz and I are ragequitting over opposite things, and > Katie quoting my comment: "Folks, I'm not sure it's feasible to have an intellectually-honest real-name public conversation about the etiology of MtF. If no one is willing to mention some of the key relevant facts, maybe it's less misleading to just say nothing.\" 01/15/2017 -> [I am actively hostile](https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1164241431629721600) to neoreaction and the alt-right, routinely block such people from commenting on my Twitter feed, and make it clear that I do not welcome support from those quarters. Anyone insinuating otherwise is uninformed, or deceptive. ; I'm a weird guy; I would like to believe there could be a cis woman like me. Not obvious that I acutally know any. My sister is a natural experiment; hands vs. finger; "felt sense"] @@ -522,10 +521,6 @@ Katie Herzog and Jesse Singal Heinlein -https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1096769579362115584 - -> When an epistemic hero seems to believe something crazy, you are often better off questioning "seems to believe" before questioning "crazy", and both should be questioned before shaking your head sadly about the mortal frailty of your heroes. - Ooh, how I wish they'd want me to stay. [trade arrangments: if that's the world we live in, fine] diff --git a/notes/post_ideas.txt b/notes/post_ideas.txt index b08749c..589a820 100644 --- a/notes/post_ideas.txt +++ b/notes/post_ideas.txt @@ -1,10 +1,12 @@ Urgent/needed for healing— -_ Reply to Scott Alexander on Autogenderphilia _ I'm Dropping the Pseudonym From This Blog +_ Reply to Scott Alexander on Autogenderphilia _ Hrunkner Unnerby and the Shallowness of Progress _ Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer _ A Hill of Validity in Defense of Meaning +_ Why I Don't Trust Eliezer Yudkowsky's Intellectual Honesty + Big posts— _ Trans Kids on the Margin, and Harms From Misleading Training Data @@ -20,6 +22,7 @@ _ Comments on the Conspiracies of dath ilan _ Beckett Mariner Is Trans https://www.reddit.com/r/DaystromInstitute/comments/in3g92/was_mariner_a_teenager_on_the_enterprised/ _ Link: "On Transitions, Freedom of Form, [...]" _ Biological Sex Actually Exists +_ Excerpt from _Redefining Realness_ _ Racial Pseudoscience on the Faculty https://archive.ph/ZxVYk @@ -34,7 +37,6 @@ _ Timelines _ reinterpretting all of Hannah Montana album lyrics as an AGP narrative _ my medianworld: https://www.glowfic.com/replies/1619639#reply-1619639 _ Rebecca Romijin -_ Excerpt from _Redefining Realness_ _ "Reducing" Bias and Improving "Safety" _ Unicode adopt-a-character?? (would it be wrong to adopt "♀"?) _ https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/WikzbCsFjpLTRQmXn/declustering-reclustering-and-filling-in-thingspace