From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2023 05:58:13 +0000 (-0800) Subject: check in against self-deception X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=commitdiff_plain;h=729c826ade8bf501452fc9730b80e3cf54e2dab3;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git check in against self-deception ... --- diff --git a/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md b/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md index 677d3a6..6f2519f 100644 --- a/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md +++ b/content/drafts/standing-under-the-same-sky.md @@ -520,7 +520,7 @@ It did not escape my notice that when "rationalist" authorities _in real life_ c This parallel between dath ilan's masochism coverup and the autogynephilia coverup I had fought in real life, was something I was only intending to comment on in passing in the present memoir, rather than devoting any more detailed analysis to, but as I was having trouble focusing on my own writing in late 2022, I ended up posting some critical messages about dath ilan's censorship regime in the "Eliezerfic" Discord server for reader discussion of _Planecrash_, using the masochism coverup as my central example. -What happens, I asked, to the occasional dath ilani free speech activists, with their eloquent manifestos arguing that Civilization would be better off coordinating on maps that reflect the territory, rather than coordinating to be a Keeper-managed zoo? (They _had_ to exist: in a medianworld centered on Yudkowsky, there are going to a few weirdos who are +2.5 standard deviations on "speak the truth, even if your voice trembles" and −2.5 standard deivations on love of clever plots; this seems less weird than negative utilitarians, who were [established to exist](https://www.glowfic.com/replies/1789623#reply-1789623).) I _assumed_ they get talk-controlled or forcibly cryopreserved in the end, but there's got to be an interesting story about someone who starts out whistleblowing small lies (which Exception Handling allows; they think it's cute, and it's "priced in" to the game they're playing), and then just keeps _escalating and escalating and escalating_ until Governance decides to unperson him. +What happens, I asked, to the occasional dath ilani free speech activists, with their eloquent manifestos arguing that Civilization would be better off coordinating on maps that reflect the territory, rather than coordinating to be a Keeper-managed zoo? (They _had_ to exist: in a medianworld centered on Yudkowsky, there are going to a few weirdos who are +2.5 standard deviations on "speak the truth, even if your voice trembles" and −2.5 standard deivations on love of clever plots; this seems less weird than negative utilitarians, who were [established to exist](https://www.glowfic.com/replies/1789623#reply-1789623).) I _assumed_ they get talk-controlled or forcibly cryopreserved in the end, but there had got to be an interesting story about someone who starts out whistleblowing small lies (which Exception Handling allows; they think it's cute, and it's "priced in" to the game they're playing), and then just keeps _escalating and escalating and escalating_ until Governance decides to unperson him. Although Yudkowsky participated in the server, I had reasoned that my participation didn't violate my previous intent not to bother him anymore, because it was a publicly-linked Discord server with hundreds of members. Me criticizing the story for the benefit of the _other_ 499 people in the chat room wouldn't generate a notification _for him_, the way it would if I sent him an email or replied to him on Twitter. @@ -557,7 +557,7 @@ Someone else said: I said that I thought people were missing this idea that the reason "truth is better than lies; knowledge is better than ignorance" is such a well-performing injunction in the real world (despite the fact that there's no law of physics preventing lies and ignorance from having beneficial consequences), is because it protects against unknown unknowns. Of course an author who wants to portray an ignorance-maintaining conspiracy as being for the greater good, can assert by authorial fiat whatever details are needed to make it all turn out for the greater good, but _that's not how anything works in real life_. -I started a new thread to complain about the attitude I was seeing (Subject: "Noble Secrets; Or, Conflict Theory of Optimization on Shared Maps"). When fiction in this world, _where I live_, glorifies Noble Lies, that's a cultural force optimizing for making shared maps less accurate, I explained. As someone trying to make shared maps _more_ accurate, this force was hostile to me and mine. I understood that secrets and lies are different, but if you're a consequentialist thinking in terms of what kinds of optimization pressures are being applied to shared maps, it's the same issue: I'm trying to steer _towards_ states of the world where people know things, and the Keepers of Noble Secrets are trying to steer _away_ from states of the world where people know things. That's a conflict. I was happy to accept Pareto-improving deals to make the conflict less destructive, but I wasn't going to pretend the pro-ignorance forces were my friends just because they self-identify as "rationalists" or "EA"s. I was willing to accept secrets around nuclear or biological weapons, or AGI, on "better ignorant than dead" grounds, but the "protect sadists from being sad" thing was _just_ coddling people who can't handle the truth, which makes _my_ life worse. +I started a new thread to complain about the attitude I was seeing (Subject: "Noble Secrets; Or, Conflict Theory of Optimization on Shared Maps"). When fiction in this world, _where I live_, glorifies Noble Lies, that's a cultural force optimizing for making shared maps less accurate, I explained. As someone trying to make shared maps _more_ accurate, this force was hostile to me and mine. I understood that secrets and lies are different, but if you're a consequentialist thinking in terms of what kinds of optimization pressures are being applied to shared maps, it's the same issue: I'm trying to steer _towards_ states of the world where people know things, and the Keepers of Noble Secrets are trying to steer _away_ from states of the world where people know things. That's a conflict. I was happy to accept Pareto-improving deals to make the conflict less destructive, but I wasn't going to pretend the pro-ignorance forces were my friends just because they self-identify as "rationalists" or "EA"s. I was willing to accept secrets around nuclear or biological weapons, or AGI, on "better ignorant than dead" grounds, but the "protect sadists from being sad" thing was _just_ coddling people who can't handle the truth, which made _my_ life worse. And just—back in the 'aughts, Robin Hanson had this really great blog called _Overcoming Bias_. (You probably haven't heard of it.) I wanted that _vibe_ back, of Robin Hanson's blog in 2008. diff --git a/notes/memoir-sections.md b/notes/memoir-sections.md index 126f524..7ea100f 100644 --- a/notes/memoir-sections.md +++ b/notes/memoir-sections.md @@ -1,7 +1,7 @@ marked TODO blocks— -- Boston [pt. 5] -- social justice and defying threats [pt. 5] -- Jessica's experience at MIRI and CfAR [pt. 5] +- Boston [pt. 6] +- social justice and defying threats [pt. 6] +- Jessica's experience at MIRI and CfAR [pt. 6] _ last email and not bothering him [pt. 6] _ autogenderphilia (in-line section) [pt. 4] _ New York [pt. 6] @@ -30,12 +30,13 @@ _ lead-in to Sept. 2021 Twitter altercation [pt. 6] _ regrets, wasted time, conclusion [pt. 6] not even blocked— +_ "Even our pollution is beneficial" [pt. 6] +_ Scott Aaronson on the blockchain of science [pt. 6] +_ "Why are you a boy?" [pt. 4] _ Re: on legitimacy and the entrepreneur; or, continuing the attempt to spread my sociopathic awakening onto Scott [pt. 2 somewhere] _ running away to Burlingame; Hamilton tickets -_ "Even our pollution is beneficial" _ include Wilhelm "Gender Czar" conversation? [pt. 2] -_ Scott Aaronson on the blockchain of science [pt. 6] -_ "Why are you a boy?" [pt. 4] +_ "EA" brand ate the "rationalism" brand—even visible in MIRI dialogues bigger blocks— _ dath ilan and Eliezerfic fight @@ -2114,7 +2115,10 @@ https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/3nDR23ksSQJ98WNDm/developmental-stages-of-gpts?c calculating whether I was "net positive"—I don't know what can be said about the relationship between quantum randomness and macroscopic outcomes, but it seems plausible that there are Everett branches where I died from that salivary stone in 2008 ------- +From "My Way"— +> far enough that the art she learned from others fails her, so that she must remake her shattered art in her own image and in the image of her own task. And then tell the rest of us about it. +> But what I’m finding is not just _the_ Way, the thing that lies at the center of the labyrinth; it is also _my_ Way, the path that I would take to come closer to the center, from whatever place I started out. +> I think there will not be a _proper_ Art until _many_ people have progressed to the point of remaking the Art in their own image, and then radioed back to describe their paths. diff --git a/notes/memoir_wordcounts.csv b/notes/memoir_wordcounts.csv index 9744744..5f3eab1 100644 --- a/notes/memoir_wordcounts.csv +++ b/notes/memoir_wordcounts.csv @@ -309,4 +309,12 @@ 01/28/2023,83140 01/29/2023,83140 01/30/2023,83212 -01/31/2023, \ No newline at end of file +01/31/2023,83212 +02/01/2023,83212 +02/02/2023,83212 +02/03/2023,83212 +02/04/2023,83212 +02/05/2023,83212 +02/06/2023,84301 +02/07/2023,84302 +02/08/2023, \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/notes/notes.txt b/notes/notes.txt index 9af27b1..5d850a4 100644 --- a/notes/notes.txt +++ b/notes/notes.txt @@ -3252,3 +3252,9 @@ https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/232321/it-hurts-to-know-that-my-family-sees- (03:36:14 PM) zackmdavis@yahoo.com: my hope was to actually make progress on the monstrously self-indulgent story that I thought should be finished by election day https://gist.github.com/zackmdavis/3194ff3262028c54ce90 https://gist.github.com/zackmdavis/cc535f594ff7d4d6c431 + +woman who kept maiden name complains that even her family doesn't respect it, compared to deadnaming as offense +https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/265651/my-name-and-the-pronoun-meltdowns + +James Baldwin's theory that Black policemen beat up on other blacks to secure their position in the white power structure seems to evoke the CovfefeAnon catchphrase :( +https://archive.is/izSUn