From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2021 05:10:23 +0000 (-0700) Subject: drafting joint Closetspace/Lease Bound review X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?a=commitdiff_plain;h=fc2554ad8998b77d4f7ad4b60ade6737def0c78a;p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git drafting joint Closetspace/Lease Bound review --- diff --git a/content/2021/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md b/content/2021/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md index 88e99b3..0c9fdec 100644 --- a/content/2021/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md +++ b/content/2021/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md @@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ The first thing—the chronologically first thing. Ever since I was thirteen or So, there was that erotic thing, which I was pretty ashamed of at the time, and _of course_ knew that I must never, ever tell a single soul about. (It would have been about three years since the fantasy started that I even worked up the bravery to [tell my Diary about it](/ancillary/diary/53/#first-agp-confession).) -But within a couple years, I also developed this beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing that would persist indefinitely, where I started having a lot of _non_-sexual thoughts about being female. Just—little day-to-day thoughts, little symbolic gestures. +But within a couple years, I also developed this beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing that would persist indefinitely, where I started having a lot of _non_-sexual thoughts about being female. Just—little day-to-day thoughts, little symbolic gestures. Like when I would [write in my pocket notebook in the persona of my female analogue](/images/crossdreaming_notebook_samples.png). diff --git a/content/drafts/there-should-be-a-closetspace-lease-bound-crossover-fic.md b/content/drafts/there-should-be-a-closetspace-lease-bound-crossover-fic.md index 12d81a1..5bb0585 100644 --- a/content/drafts/there-should-be-a-closetspace-lease-bound-crossover-fic.md +++ b/content/drafts/there-should-be-a-closetspace-lease-bound-crossover-fic.md @@ -16,105 +16,21 @@ It wasn't something I noticed when I first encountered _Closetspace_ around 2010 The author probably doesn't believe in the typology (if she's even heard of it), but _the traits line up anyway_. Carrie is straight—gynephilic (["Guys just aren't my thing"](http://www.dolari.org/cs/16.htm), she tells her sister). Carrie's gay (androphilic) drag queen friend Victor/Victoria [doesn't understand Carrie's motivations](http://www.dolari.org/cs/67.htm): "Not to mention you don't _think_ like one of 'them'", she comments on Carrie's lack of innate femininity. (Anyone can see that effeminate gay men taking on female roles "make sense"; autogynephilia is harder to understand if you haven't yourself felt the tug of the scintillating but ultimately untrue thought.) Heidi the (male) dominatrix [displays a working knowledge of the typology while coming on to Carrie](http://www.dolari.org/cs/268.htm): "We're both crossdressers, and we aren't anything like drag queens [...] sometimes I want to hang out with someone like me. Someone like you." Indeed! -[TODO: "And I feel a longing" ... could she be more specific http://www.dolari.org/cs/231.htm] -[TODO: pseudo-androphilia! http://www.dolari.org/cs/239.htm] - -A point of skepticism on the premise: it doesn't feel realistic to me that Allison doesn't clock Carrie given that Carrie is [_not on hormones yet_](http://www.dolari.org/cs/55.htm). Passing is _hard_, especially when you're _living with someone_, rather than just seeing them "in passing" in public. No one mistakes [the Texas insurrectionist woman](http://www.dolari.org/cs/23.htm) as a man even though she has short hair and wears men's clothes. And Carrie _sings_! (Vocal pitch is hugely sexually dimorphic; [one study reports](/papers/puts_et_al-masculine_voices_signal_mens_threat_potential.pdf) the sex difference in mean [fundamental frequency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_frequency) at Cohen's _d_ ≈ 5.7, which is so huge that I can't _quite_ take it at face value insofar as it implies that Tracy Chapman (whose singing I've mis-sexed) should outright not exist, rather than merely being very rare.) I feel kind of vindicated that a [guest illustrator gave Carrie a realistically unfortunate face](http://www.dolari.org/cs/357.htm). - -Okay, Heidi [who _is_ on hormones](http://www.dolari.org/cs/340.htm) [lied to Allison to cover for Carrie once](http://www.dolari.org/cs/54.htm)—maybe that helped tip the scales after [the hypothesis had been promoted to Allison's attention](http://www.dolari.org/cs/57.htm)? - -How much work is being done by [the effect where it's easier to pass precisely when transsexualism is rare](/2020/Dec/crossing-the-line/)? Maybe Allison in particular is just really oblivious? - - - -_Closetspace_ seems to be on life support—there have only been five updates since 2019. - - -on passing— -Allison, "I thought I knew what to look for"!!! http://www.dolari.org/cs/255.htm -"had me thinking you were a guy for a sec, too" http://www.dolari.org/cs/254.htm -Maybe Allison is just oblivious?! -] - -remaining summary points— -pervert assumption of Allison's last roommate http://www.dolari.org/cs/4.htm -"I like dressing like a woman. I like _being_ a woman." http://www.dolari.org/cs/11.htm -kidnapped by a domniatrix http://www.dolari.org/cs/48.htm -The dominatrix is trans!! Everyone is trans! http://www.dolari.org/cs/53.htm -This doctor does hormones http://www.dolari.org/cs/55.htm -story goes back to the 1990s: http://www.dolari.org/cs/articles/99706roo.htm -"When you make a very expensive decision, you think you'd learn to live with it" http://www.dolari.org/cs/64.htm -"I'll have medical bills to think about soon" http://www.dolari.org/cs/73.htm -a couple of snips doesn't change that http://www.dolari.org/cs/80.htm -"some of the effects are rather permanent" slave: "beards and breasts are forever" http://www.dolari.org/cs/82.htm -Alison has regrets: http://www.dolari.org/cs/83.htm -turned away from visiting mom in the hospital: http://www.dolari.org/cs/90.htm -hosting aunt/uncle http://www.dolari.org/cs/91.htm -passing to a kid: http://www.dolari.org/cs/92.htm -niece finds breastforms: http://www.dolari.org/cs/96.htm -glad to see you've got a healthy libido kid, we were beginning to think you were some kind of queer: http://www.dolari.org/cs/97.htm -"I'll keep your secret": http://www.dolari.org/cs/100.htm -Alison as a child http://www.dolari.org/cs/110.htm http://www.dolari.org/cs/111.htm -"When I was 21, I made a mistake" http://www.dolari.org/cs/115.htm -story so far: http://www.dolari.org/cs/132b.htm (note the non-identity model phrasing, "used to be") -more story so far: http://www.dolari.org/cs/252b.htm "is/was male" -"I haven't been your big brother for over a month" http://www.dolari.org/cs/133.htm (not the identity model!) -"only because I haven't seen you this confident before" "it's the perscription bra" http://www.dolari.org/cs/136.htm -http://www.dolari.org/cs/142.htm -you wasted Allen's life, and now you're wasting Allison's http://www.dolari.org/cs/150.htm -showing up at the funeral http://www.dolari.org/cs/158.htm -"She's my son" http://www.dolari.org/cs/163.htm -Sister disapproves; Carrie isn't real http://www.dolari.org/cs/164.htm -servers gossip: http://www.dolari.org/cs/175.htm -Servers being obnoxious: http://www.dolari.org/cs/177.htm -Jem! http://www.dolari.org/cs/198.htm -grocery shopping http://www.dolari.org/cs/209.htm -visit from niece/aunt http://www.dolari.org/cs/215.htm http://www.dolari.org/cs/216.htm -"One small gene, all these problems from one tiny little gene" http://www.dolari.org/cs/231.htm -"Chromosome" http://www.dolari.org/cs/232.htm (Actually, they're both right! The SRY gene is the active part of the Y chromosome) -"in Thailand, no questions asked" http://www.dolari.org/cs/320.htm -ambiguity on what "Carrie" means!! (Carol vs. Carolyn this is actually relevant to me) http://www.dolari.org/cs/326.htm -nine months http://www.dolari.org/cs/332.htm -drag queens make Allison uncomfortable http://www.dolari.org/cs/253.htm http://www.dolari.org/cs/254.htm (Alison is committed to relative "stealth"; this isn't a "trans women are women" setting— ) - -Timelines— -Allison is only three years in http://www.dolari.org/cs/317.htm - - -but the world of the '90s/'aughts] - ----- - -_Lease Bound_ is the story of - -Rainbow background "oh": http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p03/ explains "does she sound different" http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p01/ -It's weird that Jaden went to uni (http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p08/) and has never heard of trans?—is she, like, old?—no, she's 24 http://leasebound.com/comic/c6p16/ -"I guess they're stereotypes for a reason" http://leasebound.com/comic/c2p08/ - -T is for trouble: http://leasebound.com/comic/chapter-3-t-is-for-trouble/ -actually a women's only venue: http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p09/ -trans women, understand now: http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p11/ -http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p15/ -What the fuck is a "trance" woman http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p10/ -No ID, just tampons http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p13/ -Were they part of madmarch or was I seriously supposed to believe they were women http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p18/ -"You know those guys who say they're lesbian's trapped in a man's body. They're like that, but dead serious." http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p19/ -Do you get a lot of homophobes http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p39/ -"Yeah, I think they called themselves.. _Trance_ .. _Women_ .. Or something." (Look at Riley's face! http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p41/ -(Riley is shaking) "Yeah I didn't really get it, either .. but hey, that's straight men for ya, haha!" -"Did she do something to provoke them?" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p54/ -It doesn't make what she said right, but it makes sense to think that way when you're not in the know http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p55/ -If I want to be a good ally, I should probably say something to Jaden about it http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p56/ -Transwomen are bound to come up in conversation http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p59/ -If her bruises don't come up, then there'd be very little reason for transwomen to come up http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p61/ -A bigot wouldn't show that kind of remorse http://leasebound.com/comic/c6p72/ -"To the pigs?" "Oh, no! I meant the transwomen, sorry." "Ah, the _other_ pigs, haha" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p86/ -Like I wasn't supposed to be able to tell http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p87/ -"What pronouns do you prefer, Jaden?" "the way you pronounced it just then was fine" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch8p6/ -Do you think Jaden could be trans? http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p2/ -I don't think Jaden knows it http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p4/ -Wrestling with ideology, diff. between looking and presenting http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p6/ -http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p8/ -"my husband" everyone is gay!! http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p7/ - -Adelaide, Australian references: Madmarch, pawpaw cream (https://lucaspapaw.com.au/) +Likewise, Carrie's [beautiful pure sacred self-identity feelings](/2021/May/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems/#beautiful-pure-sacred-self-identity) (["And I feel a longing ... like I'd have a body like that once upon a time, and want it back"](http://www.dolari.org/cs/231.htm)) and stirring post-transition [meta-attraction](https://surveyanon.wordpress.com/2019/09/10/meta-attraction-cannot-account-for-all-autogynephiles-interest-in-men/) (["is that how it works?"](http://www.dolari.org/cs/239.htm)) are _on type_. + +A point of skepticism on the premise: it doesn't feel realistic to me that Allison doesn't clock Carrie given that Carrie is [_not on hormones yet_](http://www.dolari.org/cs/55.htm). Passing is _hard_, especially when you're _living with someone_, rather than just seeing them "in passing" in public. No one mistakes [the Texas insurrectionist woman](http://www.dolari.org/cs/23.htm) as a man even though she has short hair and wears men's clothes. And Carrie _sings_! (Vocal pitch is hugely sexually dimorphic; [one study reports](/papers/puts_et_al-masculine_voices_signal_mens_threat_potential.pdf) the sex difference in mean [fundamental frequency](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_frequency) at Cohen's _d_ ≈ 5.7, which is so huge that I can't _quite_ take it at face value insofar as it implies that Tracy Chapman (whose [singing](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwrHwZyFN7M) I've mis-sexed) should outright not exist, rather than merely being very rare.) I feel kind of vindicated that a [guest illustrator gave Carrie a realistically unfortunate face](http://www.dolari.org/cs/357.htm). + +Okay, Heidi [who _is_ on hormones](http://www.dolari.org/cs/340.htm) [lied to Allison to cover for Carrie once](http://www.dolari.org/cs/54.htm)—maybe that helped tip the scales after [the hypothesis had been promoted to Allison's attention](http://www.dolari.org/cs/57.htm)? How much work is being done by [the effect where it's easier to pass precisely when transsexualism is rare](/2020/Dec/crossing-the-line/)? Maybe Allison in particular is just (autistically or self-deceptively) really oblivious? (["I thought I knew what to look for."](http://www.dolari.org/cs/255.htm)) Allison and Carrie do [get](http://www.dolari.org/cs/175.htm) [clocked](http://www.dolari.org/cs/177.htm) by restaurant waitstaff, to [Carrie's discomfort](http://www.dolari.org/cs/178.htm) and [Allison's obliviousness](http://www.dolari.org/cs/179.htm). + +_Closetspace_ seems to be on life support—there have only been four updates since 2019. (If a blog updated in September, and the previous post had been in May, would you think the author was relentlessly persuing her vision? I didn't think so.) As much as one mourns the tragedy of real life moving faster than the independent creator can tell their story, in a way, it seems—fitting?—in the sense that _Closetspace_ is noticeably a product of [its time](http://www.dolari.org/cs/articles/99706roo.htm). Someone starting a comic in the current year, about the challenges of being trans in the current year, wouldn't still be speaking in the vocabulary of the '90s. Specifically, no one in the world of _Closetspace_ seems to disagree or be confused about [what women are](/2018/Apr/reply-to-the-unit-of-caring-on-adult-human-females/). ["I'm not really a woman," Heidi confesses to Allison.](http://www.dolari.org/cs/53.htm) (Not _really_? You mean, you're not _cis_, right?) ["I haven't been your big brother for over a month," Carrie tells her sister](http://www.dolari.org/cs/133.htm) (implying that the _act_ of social transition is what makes Carrie not-a-brother, rather than an underlying identity). For her part, Allison is committed to a life of stealth, disdaining trans people (["I shouldn't be so negative. I just ... have a thing ... about people straddling gender roles"](http://www.dolari.org/cs/254.htm)), rather than taking up solidarity as one of them. Even the narrator is in on it [(describing Carrie as "male" and Allison as "once male")](http://www.dolari.org/cs/132b.htm). + +----- + +_Lease Bound_ is the story of Jaden and Riley, two [typical](https://leasebound.com/comic/c2p08/) lesbians in Adelaide, Australia in the current year who find themselves [sharing the same apartment after a clerical mix-up](https://leasebound.com/comic/ch1p04/). + +Jaden works as a bouncer as a female-only nightclub, and is surprised one night when three crossdressed men try to enter. When Jaden politely refuses them (["Sorry to disappoint, but this is actually a women's only venue. If you're looking for a great night though, there's a fantastic gay bar just a few blocks from here."](https://leasebound.com/comic/c3p09/)), they don't take it well (["We are women, sweetheart. _Trans_ women. Understand now?"](https://leasebound.com/comic/c3p11/)), and a scuffle ensues in which [Jaden gets bruised up](https://leasebound.com/comic/c4p08/). Despite [allegedly having been to college](https://leasebound.com/comic/c1p08/), Jaden has a normie's obliviousness to why the assailants felt entitled to enter the club: ["What the _fuck_ is a 'trance' woman?"](https://leasebound.com/comic/c4p10/) she asks a coworker. + + + +----- + diff --git a/notes/closetspace-lease-bound-scraps.txt b/notes/closetspace-lease-bound-scraps.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cfa201a --- /dev/null +++ b/notes/closetspace-lease-bound-scraps.txt @@ -0,0 +1,69 @@ +remaining summary points— +pervert assumption of Allison's last roommate http://www.dolari.org/cs/4.htm +"I like dressing like a woman. I like _being_ a woman." http://www.dolari.org/cs/11.htm +kidnapped by a domniatrix http://www.dolari.org/cs/48.htm +The dominatrix is trans!! Everyone is trans! http://www.dolari.org/cs/53.htm +This doctor does hormones http://www.dolari.org/cs/55.htm +story goes back to the 1990s: http://www.dolari.org/cs/articles/99706roo.htm +"When you make a very expensive decision, you think you'd learn to live with it" http://www.dolari.org/cs/64.htm +"I'll have medical bills to think about soon" http://www.dolari.org/cs/73.htm +a couple of snips doesn't change that http://www.dolari.org/cs/80.htm +"some of the effects are rather permanent" slave: "beards and breasts are forever" http://www.dolari.org/cs/82.htm +Alison has regrets: http://www.dolari.org/cs/83.htm +turned away from visiting mom in the hospital: http://www.dolari.org/cs/90.htm +hosting aunt/uncle http://www.dolari.org/cs/91.htm +passing to a kid: http://www.dolari.org/cs/92.htm +niece finds breastforms: http://www.dolari.org/cs/96.htm +glad to see you've got a healthy libido kid, we were beginning to think you were some kind of queer: http://www.dolari.org/cs/97.htm +"I'll keep your secret": http://www.dolari.org/cs/100.htm +Alison as a child http://www.dolari.org/cs/110.htm http://www.dolari.org/cs/111.htm +"When I was 21, I made a mistake" http://www.dolari.org/cs/115.htm +"only because I haven't seen you this confident before" "it's the perscription bra" http://www.dolari.org/cs/136.htm +http://www.dolari.org/cs/142.htm +you wasted Allen's life, and now you're wasting Allison's http://www.dolari.org/cs/150.htm +showing up at the funeral http://www.dolari.org/cs/158.htm +"She's my son" http://www.dolari.org/cs/163.htm +Sister disapproves; Carrie isn't real http://www.dolari.org/cs/164.htm +servers gossip: http://www.dolari.org/cs/175.htm +Servers being obnoxious: http://www.dolari.org/cs/177.htm +Jem! http://www.dolari.org/cs/198.htm +grocery shopping http://www.dolari.org/cs/209.htm +visit from niece/aunt http://www.dolari.org/cs/215.htm http://www.dolari.org/cs/216.htm +"One small gene, all these problems from one tiny little gene" http://www.dolari.org/cs/231.htm +"Chromosome" http://www.dolari.org/cs/232.htm (Actually, they're both right! The SRY gene is the active part of the Y chromosome) +"in Thailand, no questions asked" http://www.dolari.org/cs/320.htm +ambiguity on what "Carrie" means!! (Carol vs. Carolyn this is actually relevant to me) http://www.dolari.org/cs/326.htm +nine months http://www.dolari.org/cs/332.htm +Allison is only three years in http://www.dolari.org/cs/317.htm + +Rainbow background "oh": http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p03/ explains "does she sound different" http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p01/ +It's weird that Jaden went to uni (http://leasebound.com/comic/c1p08/) and has never heard of trans?—is she, like, old?—no, she's 24 http://leasebound.com/comic/c6p16/ +"I guess they're stereotypes for a reason" http://leasebound.com/comic/c2p08/ + +T is for trouble: http://leasebound.com/comic/chapter-3-t-is-for-trouble/ +actually a women's only venue: http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p09/ +trans women, understand now: http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p11/ +http://leasebound.com/comic/c3p15/ +What the fuck is a "trance" woman http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p10/ +No ID, just tampons http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p13/ +Were they part of madmarch or was I seriously supposed to believe they were women http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p18/ +"You know those guys who say they're lesbian's trapped in a man's body. They're like that, but dead serious." http://leasebound.com/comic/c4p19/ +Do you get a lot of homophobes http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p39/ +"Yeah, I think they called themselves.. _Trance_ .. _Women_ .. Or something." (Look at Riley's face! http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p41/ +(Riley is shaking) "Yeah I didn't really get it, either .. but hey, that's straight men for ya, haha!" +"Did she do something to provoke them?" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p54/ +It doesn't make what she said right, but it makes sense to think that way when you're not in the know http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p55/ +If I want to be a good ally, I should probably say something to Jaden about it http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p56/ +Transwomen are bound to come up in conversation http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p59/ +If her bruises don't come up, then there'd be very little reason for transwomen to come up http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p61/ +A bigot wouldn't show that kind of remorse http://leasebound.com/comic/c6p72/ +"To the pigs?" "Oh, no! I meant the transwomen, sorry." "Ah, the _other_ pigs, haha" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p86/ +Like I wasn't supposed to be able to tell http://leasebound.com/comic/ch6p87/ +"What pronouns do you prefer, Jaden?" "the way you pronounced it just then was fine" http://leasebound.com/comic/ch8p6/ +Do you think Jaden could be trans? http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p2/ +I don't think Jaden knows it http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p4/ +Wrestling with ideology, diff. between looking and presenting http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p6/ +http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p8/ +"my husband" everyone is gay!! http://leasebound.com/comic/ch9p7/ + +Adelaide, Australian references: Madmarch, pawpaw cream (https://lucaspapaw.com.au/)