From 8b269c41e914d1919e122a1804a9d209a1ea8152 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Fri, 15 Jan 2021 08:25:56 -0800 Subject: [PATCH] swipe at wellness notes? I don't think I actually feel like making a public blog post about my current problems. --- content/2017/fresh-princess.md | 2 +- ...my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words.md | 2 +- content/drafts/wellness-strategy-notes.md | 11 +++++++++++ 3 files changed, 13 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) create mode 100644 content/drafts/wellness-strategy-notes.md diff --git a/content/2017/fresh-princess.md b/content/2017/fresh-princess.md index 99111fd..ce918e7 100644 --- a/content/2017/fresh-princess.md +++ b/content/2017/fresh-princess.md @@ -1,7 +1,7 @@ Title: Fresh Princess Date: 2017-03-26 19:30 Category: other -Tags: personal +Tags: personal, madness ([Credit assignment](http://www.bcp.psych.ualberta.ca/~mike/Pearl_Street/Dictionary/contents/C/creditassign.html): [Will Smith](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fresh_Prince_of_Bel-Air), [_xkcd_](https://xkcd.com/464/)) diff --git a/content/2017/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words.md b/content/2017/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words.md index 97ce6b7..3426186 100644 --- a/content/2017/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words.md +++ b/content/2017/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words.md @@ -1,7 +1,7 @@ Title: Memoirs of My Recent Madness, Part I: The Unanswerable Words Date: 2017-06-19 16:01 Category: other -Tags: personal +Tags: personal, madness > "Listen, what's the most horrible experience you can imagine? To me—it's being left, unarmed, in a sealed cell with a drooling beast of prey or a maniac who's had some disease that's eaten his brain out. You'd have nothing but your voice—your voice and your thought. You'd scream to that creature why it should not touch you, you'd have the most eloquent words, the unanswerable words, you'd become the vessel of the absolute truth. And you'd see living eyes watching you and you'd know that the thing can't hear you, that it can't be reached, not reached, not in any way, yet it's breathing and moving there before you with a purpose of its own. That's horror. Well, that's what's hanging over the world, prowling somewhere through mankind, that same thing, something closed, mindless, utterly wanton, but something with an aim and a cunning of its own. I don't think I'm a coward, but I'm afraid of it. And that's all I know—only that it exists. I don't know its purpose, I don't know its nature." > diff --git a/content/drafts/wellness-strategy-notes.md b/content/drafts/wellness-strategy-notes.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ecebf80 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/wellness-strategy-notes.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +Title: Wellness Strategy Notes, 15 January 2021 +Date: 2020-01-15 07:55 +Category: other +Tags: personal, madness, meta +Status: draft + +Okay, my gender-blogging schedule is probably being pushed forward (delayed) a bit, because my _first_ priority now is making sure I don't go crazy again. I'm optimistic, because I have _skills_ born of life experience. My 2013 sleep-deprivation-induced psychotic break and subsequent imprisonment ("hospitalization", whatever) [was](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/03/actually-trying/) [_very_](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/03/religious/) [bad](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/03/childlike/), [and](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/04/prodrome/) I was out of commission [for](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/05/retirement/) [months](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2013/05/relevance/) afterwards. + +My 2017 stress-and-sleep-deprivation-induced psychotic break and imprisonment [was](/2017/Mar/fresh-princess/) [also](/2017/Jun/memoirs-of-my-recent-madness-part-i-the-unanswerable-words/) very bad, but I was pretty lucid through a lot of it and bounced back quicker. My social performance in psych prison was a _lot_ better, precisely _because_ I was modeling it as a prison the second time around. (In contrast, when I started feeling crazy after missing that night of sleep in 2013, I _asked_ to go to the hospital! Imagine being that misinformed!) + +So if I'm having trouble sleeping lately, that's something I know to take seriously and \ No newline at end of file -- 2.17.1