From 2ef67ba7e07e453cdb884574d363d1b9ec324d1b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "Zack M. Davis" Date: Mon, 18 Sep 2023 19:40:32 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] memoir: psychiatric disaster (not shown) --- content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md | 10 +++++++--- 1 file changed, 7 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md b/content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md index eab918c..2f6b12a 100644 --- a/content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md +++ b/content/drafts/if-clarity-seems-like-death-to-them.md @@ -803,9 +803,13 @@ And really, that _should_ have been the end of the story. At the trifling cost o ----- -[TODO: psychiatric disaster, breakup with Vassar group, this was really bad for me -[As it is written](https://www.alessonislearned.com/), "A lesson is learned but the damage is irreversible." -] +If this were an autobiography (which existed to tell my life story) rather than a topic-focused memoir (which exists because my life happens to contain this Whole Dumb Story which bears on matters of broader interest, even if my life would not otherwise be interesting), there's a dramatic episode that would fit here chronologically. + +I was charged by members of the "Vassarite" clique in New York with the duty of taking care of a mentally-ill person at my house on 18 December 2020. (We did not trust the ordinary psychiatric system to act in patient's interests.) I apparently did a poor job, and ended up saying something callous on the care team group chat after a stressful night, which led to a chaotic day on the nineteenth, and an ugly falling-out between me and the group. In the interests of brevity and the privacy of the person we were trying to help, I think it's better that I don't expend the wordcount to give you a play-by-play. The details aren't particularly of public interest. + +My poor performance during this incident [weighs on my conscience](/2020/Dec/liability/) particularly because I had previously been in the position of being crazy and benefitting from the help of my friends (including many of the same people involved in this incident) rather than getting sent back to psychiatric prison ("hospital", they call it a "hospital"). Of all people, I had a special debt to "pay it forward", and one might have hoped that I would also have special skills, that remembering being on the receiving end of a psychiatric tripsitting operation would help me know what to do on the giving end. Neither of those panned out. + +Some might appeal to the proverb, "All's well that ends well", noting that the person in trouble ended up being okay, and that, while the stress contributed to me having a relapse of some of my own psychological problems on the night of the nineteenth and in the following weeks, I ended up being okay, too (at the cost of missing a week of my dayjob and giving up caffeine permanently). I am instead inclined to dwell on [another proverb](https://www.alessonislearned.com/), "A lesson is learned but the damage is irreversible." ----- -- 2.17.1