From 6f647837458c49ce239f8c7f8e18648e27228e13 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sat, 26 Nov 2016 19:02:50 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 01/16] "ozy" tag --- content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-agp.md | 2 +- content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-two-type-mtf-taxonomy.md | 2 +- 2 files changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-agp.md b/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-agp.md index 1ea7240..d056614 100644 --- a/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-agp.md +++ b/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-agp.md @@ -1,7 +1,7 @@ Title: Reply to Ozymandias on Autogynephilia Date: 2016-10-01 18:00 Category: commentary -Tags: autogynephilia +Tags: autogynephilia, ozy This post is a response to Ozymandias's ["On Autogynephilia"](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2016/07/13/on-autogynephilia/), published on their (highly recommended!) blog, [_Thing of Things_](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/). diff --git a/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-two-type-mtf-taxonomy.md b/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-two-type-mtf-taxonomy.md index 34663de..e910473 100644 --- a/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-two-type-mtf-taxonomy.md +++ b/content/2016/reply-to-ozy-on-two-type-mtf-taxonomy.md @@ -1,7 +1,7 @@ Title: Reply to Ozymandias on Two-Type MtF Taxonomy Date: 2016-11-24 20:46 Category: commentary -Tags: two-type taxonomy +Tags: two-type taxonomy, ozy This post is a response to Ozymandias's ["Thoughts on The Blanchard/Bailey Distinction"](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2016/11/22/thoughts-on-the-blanchardbailey-distinction/) (and is [cross-posted to the comments](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2016/11/22/thoughts-on-the-blanchardbailey-distinction/comment-page-1/#comment-23088) there). -- 2.17.1 From e734b915f20926f0edf5b13d6ab68bf4cb221dd5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 27 Nov 2016 20:33:00 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 02/16] a file to track comments made elsewhere under this name --- commentary_elsewhere.txt | 1 + 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+) create mode 100644 commentary_elsewhere.txt diff --git a/commentary_elsewhere.txt b/commentary_elsewhere.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f2f0a2e --- /dev/null +++ b/commentary_elsewhere.txt @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480276938526#c2328366888389713045 -- 2.17.1 From 56084fbbc2ad9fd3cc30ca5869b6e748ca970167 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 27 Nov 2016 20:47:36 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 03/16] check in --- ...-or-why-i-dont-care-about-your-feelings.md | 2 + ...faster-than-science-transgender-edition.md | 11 ++++++ content/drafts/pretending-not-to-notice.md | 9 ++++- post_ideas.txt | 38 ++++++++++--------- 4 files changed, 41 insertions(+), 19 deletions(-) create mode 100644 content/drafts/faster-than-science-transgender-edition.md diff --git a/content/drafts/dont-negotiate-with-terrorist-memeplexes-or-why-i-dont-care-about-your-feelings.md b/content/drafts/dont-negotiate-with-terrorist-memeplexes-or-why-i-dont-care-about-your-feelings.md index 1dbb8d1..5b33bb9 100644 --- a/content/drafts/dont-negotiate-with-terrorist-memeplexes-or-why-i-dont-care-about-your-feelings.md +++ b/content/drafts/dont-negotiate-with-terrorist-memeplexes-or-why-i-dont-care-about-your-feelings.md @@ -68,6 +68,8 @@ Obviously I'm totally in favor of trans _people_ having access to the hormones a I understand that for people who have _already_ built up a self-image around the idea that they are literally women and always have been, the idea that their female gender identity arose out of a misinterpretation of misdirected male sexuality could be extremely disturbing. +I'm happy to shut up about, um, enpvny qvssreraprf va VD, but this, _this_ is _personal_ + But people dealing with gender dysphoria who haven't already transitioned deserve accurate information! This is _personal_ to me. If being a good person means submitting to social pressure aimed at getting me to _shut up and stop thinking_ about the true nature of the beautiful feeling at the center of my life for _twenty-five fucking years_ (!?), then I have _no interest_ in being a good person. I'm certainly not _trying_ to say things that will hurt people—_least_ of all people who are mostly just like me but read different books in a different order and are living out a pretty decent approximation of _my wildest fantasy_. diff --git a/content/drafts/faster-than-science-transgender-edition.md b/content/drafts/faster-than-science-transgender-edition.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..94afc98 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/faster-than-science-transgender-edition.md @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +Title: Faster Than Science, Transgender Edition +Date: 2020-01-01 +Category: commentary +Tags: two-type taxonomy +Status: draft + +(An entry in [the Yudkowskian school](http://lesswrong.com/lw/qi/faster_than_science/) of applied epistemology.) + +It's important to distinguish between the _social_ process of science and the cognitive process of rationality. + +http://lesswrong.com/lw/qi/faster_than_science/ diff --git a/content/drafts/pretending-not-to-notice.md b/content/drafts/pretending-not-to-notice.md index ef84d49..39cc502 100644 --- a/content/drafts/pretending-not-to-notice.md +++ b/content/drafts/pretending-not-to-notice.md @@ -2,4 +2,11 @@ Title: Pretending Not to Notice Date: 2020-01-01 Status: draft -The "M." in my byline stands for _Mark_. (Well, actually it's a pseudonym.) \ No newline at end of file +> And I look the other way +> As they are kissing their hellos +> I'm pretending not to see them +> And instead I pour the milk +> +> —"Tom's Diner" by Susanne Vega + +The "M." in my byline stands for _Mark_. (Well, actually it's a pseudonym.) diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index bda9624..ae8165a 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -2,21 +2,22 @@ fiction— Friendship Practices of the Secret-Sharing Plain Speech Valley Squirrels Blame Me for Trying -core commentary— -Don't Negotiate With Terrorist Memeplexes; Or, Why I Don't Care About Your Feelings -Could Self-Reports Really Be That Wrong?? -High-Dimensional Social Science and the Cluster Concept of Concepts -Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition -Mary's Room (we have calibration to know that we're probably mostly seeing the same colors up to colorblindness and tetrachromacy, but ppl probably don't mean the same thing by "gender dysphoria" or "identity", or "sexual orientation" (ref pseudobisexuality)) -The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition -Using Simple But Flawed Models Is Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model -Survey of a Crossdreamscape and Why This Is Pretty Obviously Not What Cis Women Feel About Themselves -Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp) -My Story -Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer +core sequence— +* Faster Than Science (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...) +* Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) +* Review of Nevada +* Don't Negotiate With Terrorist Memeplexes; Or, Why I Don't Care About Your Feelings +* Survey of a Crossdreamscape and Why This Is Pretty Obviously Not What Cis Women Feel About Themselves +* "Love Like You" +* Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer; Or, Could Self-Reports Really Be That Wrong?? +* High-Dimensional Social Science and the Cluster Concept of Concepts +* Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition +* Mary's Room (we have calibration to know that we're probably mostly seeing the same colors up to colorblindness and tetrachromacy, but ppl probably don't mean the same thing by "gender dysphoria" or "identity", or "sexual orientation" (ref pseudobisexuality)) +* The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition +* Using a Simple But Flawed Model Is Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model +* Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp) other commentary— -Faster Than Science (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...) psychological sex differences aren't real, but gender identity is?? always nurture except when politically convenient Falsifiability and What We Expect Not to See (this is important for the Bayes crowd) Bucketing (go through Wikipedia list of trans women, categorize everyone) @@ -25,11 +26,10 @@ God, I hope it's just a coincidence that Steven Goldberg gets the fact/value thi horror story about trans activists being pro-porn, &c. indicating how aliens would analyze them as a subtype of males Engineering possibilities (Anne Lawrence identitfy early) rachet effect (http://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-slippery-slope/) (I can't imagine self with short hair) +My Story criticism— -Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) Gender of the Gaps (you can always propose an essence when people knock down your ludicrous rationalization) -Review of Nevada Time Travel Isn't Real Lesser-Known Demand Curves @@ -37,7 +37,7 @@ Lesser-Known Demand Curves cathartic— Napoleon 70s denialists had it right -"Love Like You" + pages— compile papers @@ -56,10 +56,12 @@ Getting It Right the First Time Psychological Theories Predict Behavior, Not Just Self-Reports My Delusional Paraphilia Is the Best Delusional Paraphilia in the World Dual-Role Transvestism for the 21st Century -Passing Is Legitimacy, Legitimacy Is Passing +Passing Is Legitimacy, Legitimacy Is Passing (I pass as college educated) All Men Benefit From Patriarchy game-theory; you can't take away transition technology; if you say it can only be used for dysphoria and not fetish, that creates an enormous incentive for self-delusion; maybe _after_ the trans rights movement has won, _then_ suddenly people will feel free to be non-delusional -I'm happy to shut up about, um, enpvny qvssreraprf va VD, but this, _this_ is _personal_ + +> If you want to make your stupid dream real, you need to have a realistic picture of the world. If you want a society in which men and women have the same brain, or one in which feminism actually works, you would have to make it so, with advanced biological engineering. John Varley writes fiction: so did Joanna Russ. +https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/ my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is reminicent of narcisstic rage in ppl hwo -- 2.17.1 From b528a307767771b34cbcb081ea55e721f6f6c823 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Mon, 28 Nov 2016 22:22:35 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 04/16] log reply to Jack You'd think by now someone would have told that guy that appeal to consequences was a logical fallacy! --- commentary_elsewhere.txt | 1 + 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+) diff --git a/commentary_elsewhere.txt b/commentary_elsewhere.txt index f2f0a2e..ce54df6 100644 --- a/commentary_elsewhere.txt +++ b/commentary_elsewhere.txt @@ -1 +1,2 @@ http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480276938526#c2328366888389713045 +http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480394967194#c4679732366670747017 -- 2.17.1 From 72ae5d1aee980fcc98a566082c1abb87f8423953 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Wed, 30 Nov 2016 20:05:14 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 05/16] log counterreply to Jack --- commentary_elsewhere.txt | 2 ++ 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+) diff --git a/commentary_elsewhere.txt b/commentary_elsewhere.txt index ce54df6..8e8a3b7 100644 --- a/commentary_elsewhere.txt +++ b/commentary_elsewhere.txt @@ -1,2 +1,4 @@ http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480276938526#c2328366888389713045 http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480394967194#c4679732366670747017 +http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480475991853#c8085160050576166418 +http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480476051453#c6311549990904168122 -- 2.17.1 From 0b501d81e944b585f1d1c9a78cf5cc66d17ed79f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Thu, 1 Dec 2016 19:53:22 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 06/16] stash Bailey quote on predictability --- post_ideas.txt | 5 +++++ 1 file changed, 5 insertions(+) diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index ae8165a..aecfc4e 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -65,3 +65,8 @@ game-theory; you can't take away transition technology; if you say it can only b https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/ my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is reminicent of narcisstic rage in ppl hwo + + +> Knowing his occupation and observing him briefly and superficially were sufficient, together, for me to guess confidently about aspects of Edwin's life that he never mentioned. I know what he was like as a boy. I know what kind of person he is sexually attracted to. I know what kinds of activities interest him and what kinds do not. I am least sure what he will look like five years from now. + +—J. Michael Bailey, _The Man Who Would Be Queen: the Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism_, Preface -- 2.17.1 From 7630a4f7cfada27798137a79906c1a90c12d73da Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2016 10:54:06 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 07/16] scribbles, Frozen --- ...nd-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md | 25 +++++++++++++++---- post_ideas.txt | 13 ++++++++++ 2 files changed, 33 insertions(+), 5 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md b/content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md index b3fbbfb..baae9bd 100644 --- a/content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md +++ b/content/drafts/blanchards-dangerous-idea-and-the-plight-of-the-lucid-crossdreamer.md @@ -4,10 +4,13 @@ Category: commentary Tags: autogynephilia Status: draft -"all gender dysphoric males who are not sexually oriented towards men are instead sexually oriented toward the thought or image of themselves as women" +This, then, is Blanchard's dangerous idea: "all gender dysphoric males who are not sexually oriented towards men are instead sexually oriented toward the thought or image of themselves as women." -Even if you weaken _all_ to _almost all_ (Anne Lawrence: "I am firmly convinced that the overwhelming majority—probably 98% or more—of cases of severe gender dysphoria in men arise in connection with either effeminate homosexuality or autogynephilia; most of the rare exceptions probably arise in connection with conditions such as schizophrenia and certain personality disorders"), or even _most_ +Even if you weaken _all_ to _almost all_ , or even _most_ +Anne Lawrence: + +> I am firmly convinced that the overwhelming majority—probably 98% or more—of cases of severe gender dysphoria in men arise in connection with either effeminate homosexuality or autogynephilia; most of the rare exceptions probably arise in connection with conditions such as schizophrenia and certain personality disorders "Why, yes, of course my female gender identity is an outgrowth of my paraphilic erotic desire to have a woman's body—after all, that's one of the two and probably only two causal pathways along which male-to-female sex reassignment could possibly seem like a good idea to someone, and you can probably already tell from my appearance and behavior that I'm not one of the androphilic kind." @@ -24,12 +27,22 @@ How to account for people disagreeing? * ppl can have false beliefs about themselves, have to infer explanations for behavior (picking the gift on the right) * exact type of AGP and whether you remember it in childhood make a difference in how obvious the right answer is -* ppl have heard a strawman of the theory, not read "Becoming What We Love"; innoculated against smart version of theory +* ppl have heard a strawman of the theory, not read "Becoming What We Love"; innoculated against smart version of theory (Anne Vitale) +* selection +* incentives the selection effect and the incentives are dual: ppl who notice AGP don't transition, people who transition convince selves AGP doesn't matter type of dysphoria also matters +trans women don't want to talk about it +stright guys who regard it as a humiliating private kink don't want to talk about it + + + +To visualize how this ends up looking in practice, I want you to consider the fictitious but (I claim) entirely realistic tale of Katherine and Mark. + + two fictional case studies: one with childhood AGP and interpersonal fantasy, another like me (Ranma 1/2, transformation fantasies, sex differences denial, encountering AGP first) when they meet in Portland, they note their obvious similarities and know that they have to be the same type of thing (I'm actually trans, you're just AGP is not an option) @@ -40,9 +53,11 @@ Just, you know, one of those guys who is pointedly insistent on not being _proud -Mark is like "You lying bastards!" and the first is like "You poor, soul, misled by the BBL lies" -"That poor girl!" + + + +Katherine looks at Mark with a sense of pity. "That poor girl, cowed by Bailey's vicious pseudoscientific lies!" Mark looks at Katherine with a mixture of jealousy and contempt. "Wait. Wait a minute. So this _entire fucking time_, _actual trans women_ were really just _guys like me_ who were _less self-aware about it_, who had all the same happy romantic fantasies about being a girl, and then _took them literally_?! You bastards! You delusional bastards! You beautiful, lucky bastards who get all nice things I can't have, at the terrible cost of never being able to say _why_! I'm so upset about this that I feel motivated to start an entire pseudonymous blog dedicated to dismantling the shitty epistemology that led to this absurd situation!" diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index aecfc4e..1833d18 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -18,6 +18,7 @@ core sequence— * Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp) other commentary— +because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience" psychological sex differences aren't real, but gender identity is?? always nurture except when politically convenient Falsifiability and What We Expect Not to See (this is important for the Bayes crowd) Bucketing (go through Wikipedia list of trans women, categorize everyone) @@ -70,3 +71,15 @@ my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is r > Knowing his occupation and observing him briefly and superficially were sufficient, together, for me to guess confidently about aspects of Edwin's life that he never mentioned. I know what he was like as a boy. I know what kind of person he is sexually attracted to. I know what kinds of activities interest him and what kinds do not. I am least sure what he will look like five years from now. —J. Michael Bailey, _The Man Who Would Be Queen: the Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism_, Preface + +because we're not narcissists http://elegantgatheringofwhitesnows.com/?p=2270 + + +quote Frozen on not being the right person to write this blog +Don't let them in, +don't let them see +Be the good girl you always have to be +Conceal, don't feel, +don't let them know +Well now they know + -- 2.17.1 From b5d3817f5bf128e2e2883ef5b711b0a29a34d688 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2016 19:43:46 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 08/16] ideas to core --- post_ideas.txt | 3 ++- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index 1833d18..e2286eb 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -3,6 +3,8 @@ Friendship Practices of the Secret-Sharing Plain Speech Valley Squirrels Blame Me for Trying core sequence— +* polarizing tribal forces—because only bad ppl talk about AGP, you need to be very DGAF about politics in order to not be locked out of the correct explanation—and even then, socialization forces might turn you against your own ppl, something I have to be wary of +* because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience" * Faster Than Science (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...) * Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) * Review of Nevada @@ -18,7 +20,6 @@ core sequence— * Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp) other commentary— -because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience" psychological sex differences aren't real, but gender identity is?? always nurture except when politically convenient Falsifiability and What We Expect Not to See (this is important for the Bayes crowd) Bucketing (go through Wikipedia list of trans women, categorize everyone) -- 2.17.1 From 243eba93fb8c3bb89afb40fcf46b9d0f4fd14448 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 4 Dec 2016 21:26:11 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 09/16] confounds abound --- post_ideas.txt | 1 + 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+) diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index e2286eb..88ad59d 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -75,6 +75,7 @@ my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is r because we're not narcissists http://elegantgatheringofwhitesnows.com/?p=2270 +euphoric effects of E are a placebo effect! https://autogynephiliatruth.wordpress.com/about/#comment-155 quote Frozen on not being the right person to write this blog Don't let them in, -- 2.17.1 From e8f4d92c6e160a968b214efbf2970e8844efca78 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Thu, 8 Dec 2016 20:37:01 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 10/16] pull potential epigraph quotes into separate file --- epigraph_quotes.md | 24 ++++++++++++++++++++++++ post_ideas.txt | 18 ++---------------- 2 files changed, 26 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-) create mode 100644 epigraph_quotes.md diff --git a/epigraph_quotes.md b/epigraph_quotes.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..61afe62 --- /dev/null +++ b/epigraph_quotes.md @@ -0,0 +1,24 @@ +> Knowing his occupation and observing him briefly and superficially were sufficient, together, for me to guess confidently about aspects of Edwin's life that he never mentioned. I know what he was like as a boy. I know what kind of person he is sexually attracted to. I know what kinds of activities interest him and what kinds do not. I am least sure what he will look like five years from now. +> +> —J. Michael Bailey, _The Man Who Would Be Queen: the Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism_, Preface + +> Don't let them in +> Don't let them see +> Be the good girl you always have to be +> Conceal, don't feel +> Don't let them know +> Well now they know +> +> —"Let It Go" from _Frozen_ + +> You sound so innocent +> All full of good intent +> You swear you know best +> But you expect me to +> Jump up on board with you +> And ride off into your delusional sunset +> +> —"King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles + +> If you want to make your stupid dream real, you need to have a realistic picture of the world. If you want a society in which men and women have the same brain, or one in which feminism actually works, you would have to make it so, with advanced biological engineering. John Varley writes fiction: so did Joanna Russ. +https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/ diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index 88ad59d..40fb966 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -54,6 +54,7 @@ Git mirror on server ---- +I'm Sick of Being Lied To Getting It Right the First Time Psychological Theories Predict Behavior, Not Just Self-Reports My Delusional Paraphilia Is the Best Delusional Paraphilia in the World @@ -62,26 +63,11 @@ Passing Is Legitimacy, Legitimacy Is Passing (I pass as college educated) All Men Benefit From Patriarchy game-theory; you can't take away transition technology; if you say it can only be used for dysphoria and not fetish, that creates an enormous incentive for self-delusion; maybe _after_ the trans rights movement has won, _then_ suddenly people will feel free to be non-delusional - -> If you want to make your stupid dream real, you need to have a realistic picture of the world. If you want a society in which men and women have the same brain, or one in which feminism actually works, you would have to make it so, with advanced biological engineering. John Varley writes fiction: so did Joanna Russ. -https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/ - my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is reminicent of narcisstic rage in ppl hwo - -> Knowing his occupation and observing him briefly and superficially were sufficient, together, for me to guess confidently about aspects of Edwin's life that he never mentioned. I know what he was like as a boy. I know what kind of person he is sexually attracted to. I know what kinds of activities interest him and what kinds do not. I am least sure what he will look like five years from now. - -—J. Michael Bailey, _The Man Who Would Be Queen: the Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism_, Preface - because we're not narcissists http://elegantgatheringofwhitesnows.com/?p=2270 euphoric effects of E are a placebo effect! https://autogynephiliatruth.wordpress.com/about/#comment-155 -quote Frozen on not being the right person to write this blog -Don't let them in, -don't let them see -Be the good girl you always have to be -Conceal, don't feel, -don't let them know -Well now they know + -- 2.17.1 From 18012496ba6e78be04324e7a4ba484f80c9e8fbb Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:35:20 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 11/16] check in --- content/drafts/review-of-nevada.md | 6 ++++++ epigraph_quotes.md | 8 +++++++- post_ideas.txt | 7 +++---- 3 files changed, 16 insertions(+), 5 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/drafts/review-of-nevada.md b/content/drafts/review-of-nevada.md index abf6842..9a60bb9 100644 --- a/content/drafts/review-of-nevada.md +++ b/content/drafts/review-of-nevada.md @@ -7,3 +7,9 @@ Status: draft I don't understand why this book is so popular. I mean, I understand exactly why this book is so popular, but I'm not happy about it. + + + +the next time someone tell you AGP is rare + +Ask them, Have you read _Nevada_? diff --git a/epigraph_quotes.md b/epigraph_quotes.md index 61afe62..44578a4 100644 --- a/epigraph_quotes.md +++ b/epigraph_quotes.md @@ -21,4 +21,10 @@ > —"King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles > If you want to make your stupid dream real, you need to have a realistic picture of the world. If you want a society in which men and women have the same brain, or one in which feminism actually works, you would have to make it so, with advanced biological engineering. John Varley writes fiction: so did Joanna Russ. -https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/ +> +> —[Greg Cochran](https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/) + +> "The Order of Silent Confessors exists in the hope that, so long as humanity is sane, it can make choices in accordance with its true desires. Thus there is our Order dedicated _only_ to that, and sworn not to interfere in politics. So you will spend more time discussing this scenario, my lords, my ladies, and only then generate solutions. And then ... you will decide." +> +> —[_Three Worlds Collide_](http://lesswrong.com/lw/y6/war_andor_peace_28/) by Eliezer Yudkowsky + diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index 40fb966..d2e0f9b 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -3,8 +3,8 @@ Friendship Practices of the Secret-Sharing Plain Speech Valley Squirrels Blame Me for Trying core sequence— -* polarizing tribal forces—because only bad ppl talk about AGP, you need to be very DGAF about politics in order to not be locked out of the correct explanation—and even then, socialization forces might turn you against your own ppl, something I have to be wary of -* because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience" +* Someone Has To Say It +* As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb (polarizing tribal forces—because only bad ppl talk about AGP, you need to be very DGAF about politics in order to not be locked out of the correct explanation—and even then, socialization forces might turn you against your own ppl, something I have to be wary of) * Faster Than Science (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...) * Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) * Review of Nevada @@ -16,14 +16,13 @@ core sequence— * Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition * Mary's Room (we have calibration to know that we're probably mostly seeing the same colors up to colorblindness and tetrachromacy, but ppl probably don't mean the same thing by "gender dysphoria" or "identity", or "sexual orientation" (ref pseudobisexuality)) * The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition -* Using a Simple But Flawed Model Is Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model +* Simple Models Plus Noise Are Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model (because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience") * Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp) other commentary— psychological sex differences aren't real, but gender identity is?? always nurture except when politically convenient Falsifiability and What We Expect Not to See (this is important for the Bayes crowd) Bucketing (go through Wikipedia list of trans women, categorize everyone) -Someone Has To Say It God, I hope it's just a coincidence that Steven Goldberg gets the fact/value thing right and everyone else gets it wrong horror story about trans activists being pro-porn, &c. indicating how aliens would analyze them as a subtype of males Engineering possibilities (Anne Lawrence identitfy early) -- 2.17.1 From edaa35fd35bf2fb41bfd273b5a5f0f65d7f1c44e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Sun, 25 Dec 2016 15:17:35 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 12/16] epigraph stockpiling and allocation --- epigraph_quotes.md | 17 +++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 17 insertions(+) diff --git a/epigraph_quotes.md b/epigraph_quotes.md index 44578a4..2604283 100644 --- a/epigraph_quotes.md +++ b/epigraph_quotes.md @@ -1,7 +1,9 @@ +(Simple Models Plus Noise Are Better ...) > Knowing his occupation and observing him briefly and superficially were sufficient, together, for me to guess confidently about aspects of Edwin's life that he never mentioned. I know what he was like as a boy. I know what kind of person he is sexually attracted to. I know what kinds of activities interest him and what kinds do not. I am least sure what he will look like five years from now. > > —J. Michael Bailey, _The Man Who Would Be Queen: the Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism_, Preface +(As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb) > Don't let them in > Don't let them see > Be the good girl you always have to be @@ -11,6 +13,7 @@ > > —"Let It Go" from _Frozen_ +(Yes, the Only Real...) > You sound so innocent > All full of good intent > You swear you know best @@ -28,3 +31,17 @@ > > —[_Three Worlds Collide_](http://lesswrong.com/lw/y6/war_andor_peace_28/) by Eliezer Yudkowsky +> "My taxon, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." +> +> —Carl Shurz (paraphrased) + +> Not what teacher said to do +> Making dreams come true +> Living tissue, warm flesh, weird science! +> +> —"Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo + +> If you could only know +> What we really are +> +> —[_Steven Universe_ extended theme](https://youtu.be/H23rpzOAIzQ?t=48s) -- 2.17.1 From e43ac03ca8565ab4144057d83e02e8383c9afeae Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Mon, 26 Dec 2016 09:31:25 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 13/16] fallout from my attempted introduction to /r/GenderCritical --- commentary_elsewhere.txt | 2 + .../collective-debt-collective-shame.md | 42 +++++++++++++++++++ epigraph_quotes.md | 2 + post_ideas.txt | 2 + 4 files changed, 48 insertions(+) create mode 100644 content/drafts/collective-debt-collective-shame.md diff --git a/commentary_elsewhere.txt b/commentary_elsewhere.txt index 8e8a3b7..b326993 100644 --- a/commentary_elsewhere.txt +++ b/commentary_elsewhere.txt @@ -2,3 +2,5 @@ http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComm http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480394967194#c4679732366670747017 http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480475991853#c8085160050576166418 http://www.crossdreamers.com/2016/11/why-we-need-new-narrative-for.html?showComment=1480476051453#c6311549990904168122 +https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2016/11/22/thoughts-on-the-blanchardbailey-distinction/comment-page-1/#comment-23098 +https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/5dwaqy/peak_trans_iv_tell_your_story_here/dbm2f0f/ diff --git a/content/drafts/collective-debt-collective-shame.md b/content/drafts/collective-debt-collective-shame.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..60d04ce --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/collective-debt-collective-shame.md @@ -0,0 +1,42 @@ +Title: Collective Debt, Collective Shame +Date: 2020-01-01 +Category: commentary +Tags: autogynephilia +Status: draft + +What I said to /r/GenderCritical (it actually got to 3 points before it got deleted, and someone asked for clarification why I was being predatory, so not _everyone_ hates me https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/5dwaqy/peak_trans_iv_tell_your_story_here/dbl5l20/ )— + +an likely-HSTS was better received: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/5dwaqy/peak_trans_iv_tell_your_story_here/dbmlbor/ + +Does it help if I haven't transitioned and don't intend to? But if I've been _thinking_ about it, and I support my AGP MtT friends, it's understandable that I'm still part of the enemy from their perspective + +---- + +Dear /r/gendercritical: + +So, I'm a man in the interesting position of simultaneously possessing what I now understand to be the same underlying psychological variation that motivates some males to become the kind of MtTs that justifiably draw the ire of gender-critical feminists, _and_ hitting peak trans. + +The psychologist Ray Blanchard proposed that male-to-female (... -to-"female") transsexuals come in two distinct types. So in one taxon, you have extremely feminine gay males who find they fit into society better women rather than anomalously feminine men. And in the other taxon, you have otherwise-mostly-ordinary men with an unusual sexual interest that Blanchard called _autogynephilia_ ("love of oneself as a woman") wherein they are erotically interested in the idea of having a female body, and over a period of years, gradually build up self-identity feelings around that image. The thing to appreciate here is that it's not _just_ a fetish! It's also a beautiful pure sacred self-identity feeling ... that, yes, happens to almost certainly be _causally related_ to the fetish. ["Men who love women and want to become what they love."](http://www.annelawrence.com/becoming_what_we_love.pdf) + +... men like me. + +When I encountered the word _autogynephilia_ ten years ago at age 18, I immediately thought, _There's a word for it!_ I was actually surprised that it had been coined in the context of a theory of transsexualism; I wasn't _unhappy with my assigned gender_, because (like many of you) I was something of a gender-abolitionist at the time and didn't think gender roles should exist. It was just ... my happy fantasy. I didn't have any _reason_ to come up with any ludicrous rationalizations that I was somehow _literally_ a girl in some unspecified metaphysical sense. + +But the Blanchard taxonomy did not seem to be the standard view, and (I soon learned) people get mad at you when you use the word _autogynephilia_ in a comment section, so I assumed that the _theory_ that autogynephilia could be a root cause of transsexualism was false, while continuing to be grateful that _there was a word_ for the beautiful feeling at the center of my life. + +And I spent the next ten years continuing to have the sorts of experiences that I guess pass for "gender dysphoria" (not wanting to identify with maleness or masculinity, prefering to identitfy with women if not femininity, growing a ponytail for symbolic reasons, trying to go by a gender-neutral nickname for a few years, feeling happy when someone assumed I was gay or "ma'am"ed me over the phone, _&c._), all the while thinking that I wasn't one of those people who are like, _actually trans_, because they claim to have gender identities, and I didn't know what a gender identity was supposed to feel like. I was just, you know, one of those guys who are pointedly insistent about not being _proud_ of the fact that they're guys, and who like to fantasize about things being different, all of this being (at a guess) probably related somehow to my erotic fantasies about having magical shapeshifting powers. + +... and then, I moved to Berkeley. + +I met some _very interesting_ people whom I am _very jealous_ of. I talked to some of them. I did [some reading](https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/faq-on-the-science/). And ... it's starting to look like Blanchard was right. Most _actual trans women_ (MtTs in your terminology) are, in fact, guys like me who were _less self-aware about it_, who had all the same happy romantic fantasies about being a woman and then—somehow—_took them literally_ (!?!). + +This revelation has left me with many conflicting feelings. + +So, cards on the table: _in itself_, I don't think autogynephilia is a bad thing. I think it's a _good_ thing. I think it's _made me a better person_. (I may not exactly be a _good_ person by radical feminist standards, but I'm probably better than I would have been if I had just been a _normal_ nerdy straight white guy without this obsessive need to identify with women.) I think people _should_ have the freedom to body-mod and choose their pronouns and have that be respected. + +But to exercise that freedom responsibly, I think it's important to be _realistic_ about what the underlying psychological mechanisms are, to be _realistic_ about what the existing technology can and cannot do, and to respect the interests of, you know, _actual women_, who might have legimate reasons to want their own sports teams or music festivals without people like me around! + +The currently-existing trans rights _Zeitgeist_, insofar as it doesn't even want to admit that autogynephilia is a thing, does not seem realistic to me. I'm kind of upset about this! I've started a blog, [_The Scintillating But Ultimately Untrue Thought_](http://unremediatedgender.space/), where I intend to write about this and other gender issues. If it's alright with you-all, I may want to share some of my future posts on this sub? (I am sympathetic to many of the goals of gender-critical feminism, but am writing from my own idiosyncratic perspective; I am eager to contribute insofar as our interests overlap, but don't want to intrude in spaces where I am not wanted.) I remain, + +Critically yours, +M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake diff --git a/epigraph_quotes.md b/epigraph_quotes.md index 2604283..3cc8755 100644 --- a/epigraph_quotes.md +++ b/epigraph_quotes.md @@ -27,10 +27,12 @@ > > —[Greg Cochran](https://westhunt.wordpress.com/2015/12/12/internal-contradictions/) +(The View From Nowhere) > "The Order of Silent Confessors exists in the hope that, so long as humanity is sane, it can make choices in accordance with its true desires. Thus there is our Order dedicated _only_ to that, and sworn not to interfere in politics. So you will spend more time discussing this scenario, my lords, my ladies, and only then generate solutions. And then ... you will decide." > > —[_Three Worlds Collide_](http://lesswrong.com/lw/y6/war_andor_peace_28/) by Eliezer Yudkowsky +(Collective Guilt, Collective Shame) > "My taxon, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." > > —Carl Shurz (paraphrased) diff --git a/post_ideas.txt b/post_ideas.txt index d2e0f9b..ddf1c10 100644 --- a/post_ideas.txt +++ b/post_ideas.txt @@ -3,8 +3,10 @@ Friendship Practices of the Secret-Sharing Plain Speech Valley Squirrels Blame Me for Trying core sequence— +* Collective Debt, Collective Shame (what I wanted to say to /r/GenderCritical, why it didn't work, even if they're not so hostile towards Miranda Yardley or the androphilic MtTs who post) * Someone Has To Say It * As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb (polarizing tribal forces—because only bad ppl talk about AGP, you need to be very DGAF about politics in order to not be locked out of the correct explanation—and even then, socialization forces might turn you against your own ppl, something I have to be wary of) +* The View From Nowhere * Faster Than Science (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...) * Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) * Review of Nevada -- 2.17.1 From adb7c05edece050304b8b71650de57f819a1feaf Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Wed, 28 Dec 2016 18:42:47 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 14/16] said friend remembers this differently; leave her or him out of it They also point out that the simple past of _to sing_ is _sang_; it turns out that _sung_ is the past participle. --- content/2016/chromatic-key.md | 6 +++--- 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/content/2016/chromatic-key.md b/content/2016/chromatic-key.md index b8217dc..e0c9474 100644 --- a/content/2016/chromatic-key.md +++ b/content/2016/chromatic-key.md @@ -3,8 +3,8 @@ Date: 2016-11-22 07:33 Category: commentary Tags: two-type taxonomy, anecdotal -I had occasion to sing a little song at a party recently, whereupon a trans woman who was present—let's call her "Deborah"—immediately asked if I was gay. (I'm not.) When talking with her later, mentioning that our mutual friend had been trying to convince me that I was trans (which kind of backfired, incidentally, but that's another story), she stressed that anyone who sung like me had to be either gay or a trans woman. +I had occasion to sing a little song at a party recently, whereupon a trans woman who was present—let's call her "Deborah"—immediately asked if I was gay. (I'm not.) When talking with her later, mentioning that our mutual friend had been trying to convince me that I was trans (which kind of backfired, incidentally, but that's another story), she stressed that anyone who sang like me had to be either gay or a trans woman. -Later, another friend who had been present for the latter exchange and I agreed that this was bizarre—like, that's not what those words mean! Gay men are men who are attracted to men; trans women were males who decided to transition. I'm a man who's attracted to women, which is not either of those things! Deciding that I must be one of those things based on how I sing is wholly unwarranted! +At the time, I thought that this was bizarre—like, that's not what those words mean! Gay men are men who are attracted to men; trans women were males who decided to transition. I'm a man who's attracted to women, which is not either of those things! Deciding that I must be one of those things based on how I sing is wholly unwarranted! -But _we were wrong_ and _Deborah was right_. People on the androphilic MtF spectrum tend to have naturally feminine vocal mannerisms; people on the autogynephilic spectrum have a natural incentive to fake it. (And I _do_ fake it.) With neither the inclination nor the incentive, normal straight men _don't sing like me_, and Deborah was _exactly right_ to pick up on this, even if I think her ontology is ultimately flawed. +But _I was wrong_ and _Deborah was right_. People on the androphilic MtF spectrum tend to have naturally feminine vocal mannerisms; people on the autogynephilic spectrum have a natural incentive to fake it. (And I _do_ fake it.) With neither the inclination nor the incentive, normal straight men _don't sing like me_, and Deborah was _exactly right_ to pick up on this, even if I think her ontology is ultimately flawed. -- 2.17.1 From 4c563110d30af0c3b1a8a63510cfc96c1856a425 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: "M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2016 19:59:11 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 15/16] "Anne Lawrence Is the Only Honest Human" w.i.p. fragment to drafts --- ...nne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip.md | 12 ++++++++++++ ..._lawrence_is_the_only_honest_human_wip01.png | Bin 0 -> 26415 bytes 2 files changed, 12 insertions(+) create mode 100644 content/drafts/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip.md create mode 100644 content/images/anne_lawrence_is_the_only_honest_human_wip01.png diff --git a/content/drafts/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip.md b/content/drafts/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e18a894 --- /dev/null +++ b/content/drafts/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip.md @@ -0,0 +1,12 @@ +Title: "Anne Lawrence Is the Only Honest Human" (work in progress) +Date: 2020-01-01 01:00 +Category: other +Tags: cathartic, music + +_Anne Lawrence is the only honest human +Though the world may disagree! +And +Anne Lawrence 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Taylor Saotome-Westlake" Date: Thu, 29 Dec 2016 22:00:30 -0800 Subject: [PATCH 16/16] two more potential epigraphs --- epigraph_quotes.md | 16 ++++++++++++++++ 1 file changed, 16 insertions(+) diff --git a/epigraph_quotes.md b/epigraph_quotes.md index 3cc8755..bc41b48 100644 --- a/epigraph_quotes.md +++ b/epigraph_quotes.md @@ -47,3 +47,19 @@ > What we really are > > —[_Steven Universe_ extended theme](https://youtu.be/H23rpzOAIzQ?t=48s) + +> And since your history of silence +> Won't do you any good +> Did you think it would? +> Let your words be anything but empty +> Why don't you tell them the truth? +> +> Say what you want to say +> And let the words fall out +> Honestly, I wanna see you be brave +> +> —"Brave" by Sara Bareilles + +> We're looking for a few good men, and you've come a long way, baby. But baby—don't cross that line. Don't ever cross that line. +> +> —_Hidden: A Gender_ by Kate Bornstein -- 2.17.1