X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git;a=blobdiff_plain;f=content%2Fdrafts%2Fsexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md;h=ee2e8066b433a311d728122f61e4e52f927cb649;hp=ce28f478da645e615dc8440b17361620aa0d8ac0;hb=33b142ff6c34d270547feddfe368ea5c07115378;hpb=d7b45837cb3c16c7c345ab54a6cb23b305d2d815 diff --git a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md index ce28f47..ee2e806 100644 --- a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md +++ b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md @@ -30,9 +30,20 @@ Or when I would practice swirling the descenders on all the lowercase letters th The beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing doesn't _feel_ explicitly erotic. The thing I did in the day in class about writing in my notebook about being a girl, was _very different_ from the thing I did in my room at night about _visualizing_ girls with this abstract sense of "But what if that were _me_?" while furiously masturbating. The former activity was my beautiful pure happy romantic daydream, whereas the latter activity was not beautiful or pure at all! -Now I am not a cognitive psychologist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it seems like a _pretty obvious guess_ that there must have been _some sort of causal relationship_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_. +Now I am not a cognitive scientist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it seems like a _pretty obvious guess_ that there must have been _some sort of causal relationship_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_. + +Maybe this story reads differently in 2020 from how it was to live in 2005? I think that teenage boys in today's world having the kind of feelings I was having then, upon referencing or hinting at the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing + +(and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is _much_ easier to talk about that the erotic thing) + +are immediately provided with "Oh, that means you're not a cis boy; you're a trans girl" as the definitive explanation. + +But it was a different time, then. Of course I had _heard of_ transsexualism as a thing. + + + + -I guess this story reads differently in 2020 from how it was to live in 2005? I think that teenage boys in today's world, having the kind of feelings I was having then, are immediately provided with "You're not a cis boy; you're a trans girl" as an explanation.