"Hormones Day 33"
authorM. Taylor Saotome-Westlake <ultimatelyuntruethought@gmail.com>
Mon, 30 Jan 2017 03:09:36 +0000 (19:09 -0800)
committerM. Taylor Saotome-Westlake <ultimatelyuntruethought@gmail.com>
Mon, 30 Jan 2017 03:28:51 +0000 (19:28 -0800)
content/2017/hormones-day-13.md
content/2017/hormones-day-33.md [new file with mode: 0644]
content/images/patches_01.jpg [moved from content/images/patches.jpg with 100% similarity]
content/images/patches_02.jpg [new file with mode: 0644]

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@@ -3,6 +3,6 @@ Date: 2017-01-09 18:00
 Category: other
 Tags: HRT diary, not-a-transition
 
-![used Climara patches]({filename}/images/patches.jpg)
+![used Climara patches]({filename}/images/patches_01.jpg)
 
 Applied my third patch in the morning today (first patch was evening of 27 December, second patch was morning of 2 January). Still don't really notice anything—even my libido seems intact. The doctor had totally been willing to prescribe Spiro, too, but I had declined because it seemed prudent to be conservative about something I'm thinking about as a gender-themed drug experiment and definitely _not_ a gender transition. Should I have taken her up on it? I should be patient; developments would take time regardless.
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+Title: Hormones Day 33
+Date: 2017-01-29 19:09
+Category: other
+Tags: HRT diary, not-a-transition
+
+![used Climara patches]({filename}/images/patches_02.jpg)
+
+I wish I were more self-aware. People tell me caffiene is a stimulant, and I believe them, but I tend to doubt if I could _tell_, double-blind, from the inside, whether an iced-coffee I just drank was decaf or not.
+
+Similarly, I applied my sixth patch today and _should_ have had elevated estrogen levels in my system for a _month_ now, but don't seem noticeably more female-like or otherwise effected in any easily-discernible way. Are there some kind of measurements I should be taking in order to pick up on subtle changes? (Bust size?) I guess I got a little teary a few times in the past week or so, which hasn't been common for me in recent years? (I used to cry a _lot_ when I was younger.)
+
+My dayjob performance has been utterly abysmal because I've been too upset to think about code, instead continuing to hyperfocus on how ([virtually](http://unremediatedgender.space/2016/Dec/anne-lawrence-is-the-only-honest-human-wip/)) _everyone has been lying to me_ about _the most important thing in my life_ for _ten years_, but I don't want to attribute that to the patch, because I've kind of been doing that more-or-less continuously for the past six months.
+
+Again, none of this is very surprising on a starter dose with no Spiro. That's fine. This is [known to be a slippery slope](http://unremediatedgender.space/2017/Jan/the-line-in-the-sand-or-my-slippery-slope-anchoring-action-plan/), best explored slowly and carefully if at all.
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