From: M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake Date: Thu, 17 Sep 2020 05:59:53 +0000 (-0700) Subject: check in X-Git-Url: http://unremediatedgender.space/source?p=Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git;a=commitdiff_plain;h=705506fe9041241be054db840553d8e12eca6b36 check in --- diff --git a/content/2020/memento-mori.md b/content/2020/memento-mori.md index 420908a..08c5832 100644 --- a/content/2020/memento-mori.md +++ b/content/2020/memento-mori.md @@ -46,6 +46,6 @@ Overall, I'm left with this uncanny feeling that Mariner is ... not drawn from t I wish I knew _in more detail_ what my brain thinks it's picking up on here? (I could always be wrong.) It's important that I use the word _distribution_ everywhere; I'm at least definitely not being one of those _statistically-illiterate_ sexists. Most men _also_ don't have that kind or degree of boisterous dominance; my surprise is a matter of ratios in the right tail. -I wish there was some way I could get a chance to explain to all _my people_ still under the Egregore's control, what _should_ be common knowledge too obvious to mention—that Bayesian _surprise_ is not moral _disapproval_. Beckett Mariner _deserves to exist_. (And, incidentally, I deserve the chance to _be_ her.) But I think the way you realistically _get_ starships and StyleGAN—and survive—is going to require an uncompromising focus on the kind of technical excellence that can explain in mathematical detail what black-box abstractions like "politics" and "empathy" are even supposed to _mean_—an excellence that _doesn't fit past the regex filter_. +I wish there was some way I could get a chance to explain to all _my people_ still under the Egregore's control, what _should_ be common knowledge too obvious to mention—that Bayesian _surprise_ is not moral _disapproval_. Beckett Mariner _deserves to exist_. (And, incidentally, I deserve the chance to _be_ her.) But I think the way you realistically _get_ starships and full-body StyleGAN—and survive—is going to require an uncompromising focus on the kind of technical excellence that can explain in mathematical detail what black-box abstractions like "politics" and "empathy" are even supposed to _mean_—an excellence that _doesn't fit past the regex filter_. But I don't expect to live to get the chance. diff --git a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md index b1f6b86..f4a6c9a 100644 --- a/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md +++ b/content/drafts/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems.md @@ -13,7 +13,7 @@ Status: draft > > —"Hurricane", _Hamilton_ -So, as I sometimes allude to, I've spent basically my entire adult life in this insular intellectual subculture that was founded in the late 'aughts to promulgate an ideal of _systematically correct reasoning_—general methods of thought that result in true beliefs and successful plans—and, incidentally, to use these methods of systematically correct reasoning to prevent superintelligent machines from [destroying all value in the universe](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/GNnHHmm8EzePmKzPk/value-is-fragile). Lately I've been calling it my "robot cult" (a phrase [due to Dale Carrico](https://amormundi.blogspot.com/2011/08/ten-reasons-to-take-seriously.html))—the pejorative is partially [ironically affectionate](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/gBma88LH3CLQsqyfS/cultish-countercultishness), and partially an expression of grief and resentment and white-hot rage acquired from that time almost everyone I [used to trust](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/wustx45CPL5rZenuo/no-safe-defense-not-even-science) insisted on, on ... +So, as I sometimes allude to, I've spent basically my entire adult life in this insular intellectual subculture that was founded in the late 'aughts to promulgate an ideal of _systematically correct reasoning_—general methods of thought that result in true beliefs and successful plans—and, incidentally, to use these methods of systematically correct reasoning to prevent superintelligent machines from [destroying all value in the universe](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/GNnHHmm8EzePmKzPk/value-is-fragile). Lately I've been calling it my "robot cult" (a phrase [due to Dale Carrico](https://amormundi.blogspot.com/2011/08/ten-reasons-to-take-seriously.html))—the pejorative is partially [ironically affectionate](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/gBma88LH3CLQsqyfS/cultish-countercultishness), and partially an expression of betrayal-trauma acquired from that time almost everyone I [used to trust](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/wustx45CPL5rZenuo/no-safe-defense-not-even-science) insisted on, on ... Well. That's a _long story_—for another time, perhaps. For _now_, I want to explain how my robot cult's foundational texts had an enormous influence on my self-concept in relation to sex and gender. @@ -39,7 +39,7 @@ Or when I would practice swirling the descenders on all the lowercase letters th The beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing doesn't _feel_ explicitly erotic. The thing I did in the day in class about writing in my notebook about being a girl, was _very different_ from the thing I did in my room at night about _visualizing_ girls with this abstract sense of "But what if that were _me_?" while furiously masturbating. The former activity was my beautiful pure happy romantic daydream, whereas the latter activity was not beautiful or pure at all! -Now I am not a cognitive scientist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it has always seemed like a pretty obvious guess that there must have been _some sort of causal relationship_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_. +Now I am not a cognitive scientist, and can't claim to _know_ exactly what my beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing is, or where it comes from—that's [not the kind of thing I would expect people to _know_ from introspection alone](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/). But it has always seemed like a pretty obvious guess that there must have been _some sort of [causal relationship](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Zvu6ZP47dMLHXMiG3/optimized-propaganda-with-bayesian-networks-comment-on)_ between the erotic thing, and the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing, even if the two things don't _feel_ the same: the overlap in subject matter is too much to be a coincidence. And the erotic thing definitely came _first_. Maybe this story reads differently in 2020 from how it was to live in 2005? I think that teenage boys in today's world having the kind of feelings I was having then, upon referencing or hinting at the beautiful pure sacred self-identity thing— @@ -53,8 +53,6 @@ At the time, I had _no reason to invent the hypothesis_ that I might somehow lit This brings me to the other thing I need to explain about my teenage years, which is that I became very passionate about—well, in retrospect I call it _psychological-sex-differences denialism_, but at the time I called it _antisexism_. Where sometimes people in the culture would make claims about how women and men are psychologically different, and of course I knew this was _bad and wrong_. -[TODO: sentence about how "gender identity" was offensive to me, link to "A Beacon"] - So, you know, I read a lot about feminism. I remember checking out _The Feminine Mystique_ and Susan Faludi's _Backlash_ from the school library. Before I found my home on _Overcoming Bias_, I would read the big feminist blogs—_Pandagon_, _Feministe_, _Feministing_. (In retrospect, it's notable how _intellectualized_ all of this was—my pro-feminism was an ideological matter between me and my books, rather than arising from any practical need. It's not like I had disproportionately female friends or whatever—I mean, to the extent that I had any friends and not just books.) @@ -71,10 +69,6 @@ From the perspective of axiomatic antisexism that I held at the time, this asser I wasn't ready to hear it then, but—I mean, probably not? So, for the _most_ part, all humans are extremely similar: as Yudkowsky would soon write about (following Leda Cosmides and John Tooby), [complex functional adaptations have to be species-universal in order to not get scrambled during meiosis](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/Cyj6wQLW6SeF6aGLy/the-psychological-unity-of-humankind). - - - - [...] diff --git a/notes/post_ideas.txt b/notes/post_ideas.txt index 621ec32..fe7fe0b 100644 --- a/notes/post_ideas.txt +++ b/notes/post_ideas.txt @@ -1,32 +1,30 @@ Main path (important posts)— Milestone— -_ Sexual Dimorphism in Yudkowsky's Sequences, in Relation to My Gender Problems (possibly skippable? I just want this to be over) +_ Sexual Dimorphism in Yudkowsky's Sequences, in Relation to My Gender Problems _ Unnatural Categories Are Optimized for Deception (LW) _ Motivation and Political Context for My Philosophy of Language Agenda _ Feedback on Unnatural Categories (working group + TurnTrout + Rich + Tetra + Steven + Said + Elizabeth (https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/rhZge5qmZKwJ8BMDM/open-and-welcome-thread-march-2020#comment-XG44nfNcpq3BXj7hB) + paid-editor) Marketing channels— -_ FUEY _ comment to V."C."S. on "Maybe Lying Can't Exist?!" _ comment on W.D. on "Maybe Lying Doesn't Exist" _ comment to V.K. on May thread _ epilogue email to S.A. _ explain "algorthimic" playing dumb to S.A. _ comment to G.J.M.?? -_ message to P."O."L. _ Twitter -_ Facebook tag R.B. _ Reddit submissions: /r/philosophy and /r/TheMotte _ S. Finley share +_ reply on psych prison https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMotte/comments/io1iih/culture_war_roundup_for_the_week_of_september_07/g4uvgb4/?context=3 _ Irreversible Damage review _ Jessica/wiz AGP defense _ Elision _vs_. Choice (working title) _ Phenotypic Identity and Memetic Capture _ Trans Kids on the Margin, and Harms From Misleading Training Data prior: https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/2019/07/19/how-many-trans-folk-are-there-really/ https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/2017/04/16/getting-lost-in-the-crowd/ -_ I Am Very Bad at Keeping Secrets and Am Therefore Very Reluctant to Offer Confidentiality Promises + (This needs to go into my "Motivations and Political Context") Transitioning is easy if you project into the subspace spanned by "given name" and "preferred pronouns" and "frequency of wearing dresses." The problem is that it's not psychologically realistic to expect everyone else to just throw away all the other dimensions—people were using those dimensions! @@ -69,6 +67,7 @@ _ "But I'm Not Quite Sure What That Means": Costs of Nonbinary Gender as a Socia _ "I Tell Myself to Let the Story End"; Or, A Hill of Validity ... (UUT) _ "More Than We Can Say": High-Dimensional Social Science and ... _ glomerular filtration rate https://www.reddit.com/r/TheMotte/comments/gq50mo/culture_war_roundup_for_the_week_of_may_25_2020/frvrhwg/ +_ I Am Very Bad at Keeping Secrets and Am Therefore Very Reluctant to Offer Confidentiality Promises "You're conflating sex and gender"—the problem is, Does anyone actually want to change "gender"?—they're bundled for a reason diff --git a/notes/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-notes.md b/notes/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-notes.md index cdcb354..2d91ad0 100644 --- a/notes/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-notes.md +++ b/notes/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-notes.md @@ -46,4 +46,10 @@ _Feminist Interpretations of Ayn Rand_ link "Optimized Propaganda" for one of the references to "some kind of causal relationship" for why I think that -changing emotions/accent fantasies: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/wAW4ENCSEHwYbrwtn/other-people-s-procedural-knowledge-gaps/comment/pheakgvLbFndXccXC \ No newline at end of file +changing emotions/accent fantasies: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/wAW4ENCSEHwYbrwtn/other-people-s-procedural-knowledge-gaps/comment/pheakgvLbFndXccXC + +/2017/Feb/a-beacon-through-the-darkness-or-getting-it-right-the-first-time/ + +[TODO: sentence about how "gender identity" was offensive to me, link to "A Beacon"] + +heresy \ No newline at end of file