-https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/
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-[...]
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-[Steph is Maria's cis girlfriend.]
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-> She acts like she's into it. She's thrashing, hands at Steph's wrists, pulling. Not that hard, although <u>Steph is probably stronger than Maria</u>, so it's not like Maria could
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-less probable than Imogen Binnie would like us to believe
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-> Then it's Maria's turn. She already knows she's going to fake it. Maria's relationship to her body, it's a mess, she can barely get it together to be naked in front of anybody, much less get off with someone in the room. You'd think it would be impossible to fake it, with junk like Maria's got, but you can. Maria knows some stuff about faking it. One time somebody told her that when she came in their motuh, they could tell she'd come because when that pre-<u>come</u> stuff turned into regular come, it got saltier.
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-I thought the noun was [spelled differently](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/cum#Etymology_2)
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-> People tend to assume that trans women are either drag queens and loads of trashy fun, or else sad, pathetic and deluded pervy straight men, at least, until they save up their money and get their Sex Change Operations, at which point they become just like every other woman. Or something? But Maria is like, Dude, hi. <u>Nobody ever reads me as trans any more.</u> Old straight men hit on me when I'm at work and in all these years of transitioning I haven't even been able to save up for a decent pair of boots.
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-that you know of (& James will, in Part 2)
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-> But when she started working there, she was like, Hello, I'm a dude and my name is the same as the one that's on my birth certificate. Then when she had been working there a year or two, she had this kind of intense and scary realization that for a really long time, as boring and clichéd as this is, but for as long as she could remember she had felt all fucked up.
->
-> So she wrote about it. She laid it out and connected all these dots: the sometimes I want to wear dresses dot, the <u>I am addicted to masturbation dot</u>, the I feel like I have been punched in the stomach when I see an un-self-conscious pretty girl dot, the I cried a lot when I was little and don't think I've cried at all since puberty dot. Lots of other dots. A constellation of dots. The oh man do I get more fucked up than I mean to, every time I start drinking dot. The I might hate sex dot. So she figured out that she was trans, told people she was changing her name, got on hormones, it was very difficult and rewarding and painful.
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-really
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-> There's this whole thing now where <u>rich</u> young white people like Maria colonize Brooklyn history because in these messed-up, post-modern times everybody is desperate for something real
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-is this code for class? Maria works in a bookstore
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-> She doesn't hate trans guys who are working on the fact that they've acquired male privilege outside the queer community, but also in a weird way inside the queer community, especially in the way that their presence tends to eclipse or eliminate or invalidate that of trans women, so they're working on it and starting conversations about it and <u>being accountable to trans women</u>.
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-/r/GenderCritical would "love" this book
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-[Steph has disclosed that she cheated with Kieran, a trans man.]
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-> She probably doesn't even hate Steph. Like, as a couple they are fucked, and obviously Maria sucks at changing things her life that she really needs to change. Such as: she totally needs to break up with Steph. But for real though, Steph rules. She and Keiran, y'know, that sort of thing just happens sometimes, especially in a queer relationship, right? And it's not like Maria never fucked Kieran while she was with Steph.
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-what
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-<u>what</u>
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-> Maria's been <u>mentally outlining a zine</u> about this stuff that will lay it out clearly and solve everything since, like, before she started transitioning.
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-ARTISTS SHIP
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-> He managed to kind of fuck her with a packer in a tiny, dirty yellow bathroom downstairs in the Burritoville on Second and Sixth. She managed to keep her skirt on the whole time and not to let him touch her junk. She certainly didn't come. Maybe he did.
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-what does this entail, exactly
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-> Turns out Piranha texted Maria last night, too. Fuck. Mostly her texts are just a bunch of cussing, because Piranha knows that Maria likes cuss words. She's a good friend. But last night she was like, <u>Dude</u>, where are you? Maria texts back: Sorry <u>dude</u>. Hang out soon?
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-interesting choice of address
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-> Maria used to have a pretty strong body, back when she was an energetic little college kid who looked like a dude and <u>journaled obsessively about gender in top secret notebooks all day every day</u>.
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-!!! [I did this, too.]
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-> She wakes up around four thirty and feels rested. Do other people feel like this all the time? It's fucked up. Her head feels all clear and she thinks for a second about pouring herself a glass of breakfast wine, but then she thinks, no this is perfect! I have four hours until I have to be at work, which means I can shave, put on makeup, then go to Kellogg's and <u>write for two and a half hours</u>. As the sun is coming up, no less.
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-<a href="/images/nevada_annotation-moleskine-ethic.jpg"><img src="/images/nevada_annotation-moleskine-ethic.jpg" width="240" style="float: right; margin: 0.8pc;"></a>
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-maybe I shouldn't doubt her work ethic
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-> She has another sip and opens her notebook, <u>one of those fancy Moleskine fuckers</u> Hemingway used to write in even though Hemingway and his patriarchal, strong silent type can suck a dick.
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-❤ ✶ Moleskine ★ ☆