+Really, the typical west-valley ground squirrel and the typical east-valley tree squirrel wouldn't have been friends at all, if not for the tantalizing allure of exotic secrets. Thus, special cross-subspecies friendships tended to be successfully formed much less often than they were desired.
+
+And so, many, many times in the days of auld lang syne, a squirrel in a burrow or a tree would sadly settle down to rest for the night, lamenting, "I wish I had a special friend. Someone who understood me. Someone to share my secrets with."
+
+And beside them, a friend or a mate would attempt to comfort them, saying, "But _I'm_ your friend. _I_ understand you. You can share your secrets with _me_."