+Vaniver mentions Said saying "sure, Eliezer doesn't post here anymore, but that's bad for Eliezer too."
+1 Jan 20: the red phone / state of Church leadership
+feeling more optimistic about not needing to finish the memoir—or giving it a happy ending
+"If that's all I have, then it's all I can honestly love"
+playing on a different chessboard
+he hasn't given up on his Wizard's art, but he has, after painful experience, like the Roko affair, given up on sharing it with the public
+me and Michael and Jessica were counting on him to uphold standards of discourse rather than chess
+we don't get to know the real Eliezer Yudkowsky; all we can ever know is what we can infer from the words you type—and if that's all we have, then it's all we can honestly love. If the algorithm that determines which subset of your thoughts reaches us changes—then as far as we or the rest of the world can tell, it's as if you've changed.
+2 Jan: Michael—I can't work with you if you are accepting Eliezer's schedule instead of ours. That's being political and on his side!
+my memoir as a decision-theoretic weapon
+my sense of opportunity perceives me playing a useful political role without me being unambiguously on this "side"?
+The reason I got wrapped up in this civil war was becuase of this one thing; therefore I'm now at peace with Scott
+I'm more trustworthy if I'm not perceived as Michael's pawn
+3 Jan: Michael—
+> I strongly prefer judge functions over coalition functions, so far as we can cause those to apply!!!
+> The challenge is to apply judge functions in a context where there is no recognition of a right to call the litigants into a court.
+now that Scott is legally in the clear, my recourse is polite blog posts, and not police actions like cussing him out in public
+Same thing about being complicit with psychiatry (morally suspect, but my only allowable recourse is to write polite critical blog posts).
+Jessica—being complicit with psychiatry
+I'm too submissive to psychologically maintain more than one vendetta at a time, so if I'm currently angry about the philosophy of language, then psychiatry must be OK because I don't have any anger resources left.
+4 Jan: Twitter fight with Ben
+a shouty equilibrium rather than the colluding-to-wirehead-each-other equilibrium that we see in Berkeley
+4 Jan: Ben thinks I'm no longer interested in creating clarity
+memoir is a nuke
+5 Jan: Ben—the fact that I think the memoir is an act of war, even privately (insofar as my motivation to work on it vanished when I got concessions) means I've ceded the inside of my own mind to the forces of anticlarity
+my reply: I've ceded the internal of my own mind to Eliezer Yudkowsky in particular
+5 Jan: using "central" allows mis-definition by mobs of obfuscators
+5 Jan: I am confident that finishing writing it will be clarifying and cathartic for you even if you decide not to publish, and would be an excellent use of time
+5 Jan: me—vocabulary itself is a surprisingly expensive captial investment
+5-8 Jan: baiting Steven to talk to Jessica about global warming
+9 Jan: arguing with Jessica about "developmental sex" and natural categories
+10 Jan: binary vectors
+10 Jan: "isn't meant to force you into agreement here on pains of losing face"
+15 Jan: more Twitter/email fighting about "people's philosopher"
+15 Jan: the same _interest_ is being defended whether I'm speaking up for my own order or someone else's
+16 Jan: Without you, my smartest critic is Ozy, but my self-criticism is smarter than Ozy, so it was like having no critics at all.
+16 Jan: do you think you could explain this in a way Said would find satisfying?
+18 Jan: Yudkowsky on Caplan: https://www.econlib.org/scott-alexander-on-mental-illness-a-belated-reply/#comment-237783
+21 Jan: still have this "Vassar Group vs. Corrupt Mainstream MIRI/CfAR/LW/EA rationalist civil war" framing in my head that I need to unwind, because it's the wrong frame, and it's ironically the wrong frame by our ("our") own standards. I already made the mistake of expecting a community once, but by now I should know that no Lord hath the champion, and no safe defense. There is no group; there is no community; there are just grown-ups who think for themselves (or ought to) and sometimes coordinate with their friends on those specific plans that actually require coordination.
+I indicate I might enter the Caplan-Alexander debate (I don't actually)
+25 Jan: Said thinks Jessica's political thinking is vague and under-researched
+27 Jan: Anna has to ("has to") let both me and Ziz down because big-tent coalitions require incoherence (e.g., progressives prefer not to admit out loud that trans people and Muslims have conflicting interests).
+27 Jan: Vassar's trans reversal—lame
+1 Feb: sleep disruption due to M.M.B. situation
+1 Feb: I reply to Scott on "AGP is common", and M.M.B. situation
+4 Feb: you exist in the physical sense. To whatever extent your behavior is controlled by the balance of "not wanting to fight pro-trans people" and "not wanting to fight Zack", then you don't exist decision-theoretically.
+6 Feb: me to Anna on fog of war and MMB
+(the conversation with Somni is relevant)
+12 Feb: "I'm a girl and I'm a vegetarian"
+23 Feb: connection with Iceman
+23 Feb: discussion on meaning of "zero-sum"
+25 Feb: I'm still talking about finishing writing a memoir
+28 Feb: "belief check" conversation with Jessica on origin of trans ideology
+3 Mar: Scott's new COVID-19 post is great on the "shared maps" issue! https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/03/02/coronavirus-links-speculation-open-thread/ in contrast to how last month he was acting like he didn't understand the problem https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/01/30/book-review-human-compatible/#comment-847143 https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/yaCwW8nPQeJknbCgf/free-speech-and-triskaidekaphobic-calculators-a-reply-to/comment/mHrHTvzg8MGNH2CwB
+4 Mar: niche skill of being able to translate between high-church Yudkowskyism and Vassarian moonspeak
+9-10 Mar: talk to Mom/Nicole about COVID prep
+22 Mar: ping Jack for social call ("You seem a lot more vicious than the sixteen-or-whatever-year-old I remember meeting at a Less Wrong meetup back in '13-or-whatever, but it looks adaptive")
+31 Mar: I'm skeptical of Eli as a mediator between me and Anna
+"Human Diversity" review published
+I've discovered that you can just stop being scared of things and then nothing bad happens. All swans are white! There are no other swans!
+24 May: Jessica on high-precision claims
+24 May: Anna seems to be regaining power of speech (Facebook post on U.S. decline)
+2 Jun: I send an email to Cade Metz, who DMed me on Twitter
+25 Jul: rubber-duck philosophy for "Unnatural Categories"!!