+
+-----
+
+> And in the online communities I encountered on my journey, and still follow today, I see the same question, repeated over and over, as sweet scared humans pour their vulnerability into a text box, entrusting a group of strangers to help them make the decision of a lifetime:
+>
+> What if this is just a fetish?
+>
+> —https://medium.com/gender-shrug/just-1b8c09a11f18
+
+https://player.fm/series/opening-up-behind-the-scenes-of-our-open-marriage/8-johns-kink-with-consequences
+
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/72vi36/foia_request_for_wansink_emails_show_how_an_ivy/dnmp0q9/ (relate to Conchran on lost knowledge?)
+
+
+Vee String review: still ... noticeably not part of my body.
+
+(That was the same thing I thought about breastforms. Considering how that escalted, maybe it would be better for my health and bodily integrity to not pursue this line of thinking ...)
+
+----
+
+tail: secretly, all AGP trans women are clockable because you can just look at the hobbies
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/78zw2h/how_many_of_you_were_confused_by_a_transformation/
+
+He has a wife and kids to support (if this is 1998) or her FFS bill to pay off (if this is (2018)
+
+etymology fun fact: "male" comes from the Latin malus, meaning "bad"
+
+---
+
+on a Facebook thread about female-dominated gym classes, a female acquaintance writes, "My class focuses on weightlifting and it's still all women (including one trans, oddly enough)." (You wouldn't say "oddly enough" if you actually believed that trans women are women!)
+
+This is so great http://criticaltheology.tumblr.com/post/159472778625/poem-by-a-jewish-trans-woman-written-in-1322
+
+https://theestablishment.co/yes-trans-women-can-get-period-symptoms-e43a43979e8c
+
+Rya comes out as AGP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ferdf6iRTOg
+
+----
+
+I really hope there's a way to use frequencies and Bayes nets to disprove dysphoria→AGP causal direction, particularly because then I'll be able to call the post "Algebraic Typology"
+
+I thought of this pun first/independently: https://twitter.com/WildStoryWoman/status/927514752405737474
+
+BIID: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/28711223/?i=1&from=body%20integrity%20identity%20disorder
+
+the heartbreaking misogyny of my native subculture (not that I'm any different): https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/7bjywe/wellness_wednesday_8th_november_2017/dpitpnu/
+
+Christian AGP repressor: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG7sNHEv-HMKwGQE9RS2byQ
+
+Binnie-ism: https://twitter.com/FioraAeterna/status/928664101013790720
+
+----
+
+
+but now I'm watching TV
+and I have a new actress crush
+Lauren Ash
+maybe it's just the character she's playing, but she seems slightly facially masculinized?
+but so curvy
+so my type
+America Ferrera is also in this show
+I remember her from Ugly Betty, which I would watch at the University in 2007
+before the personality-altering nervous breadown that led me to quit
+there was a trans woman character on that show, but she was played by Rebecca Romijn
+there was a poignant line (you know it's poignant when you can remember a line from a TV show you saw ten years ago) where she says to her brother, "Look into my eyes, Danny; it's the only thing they couldn't change"
+and how do I put this
+my blog would sound a lot less transphobic if we had the technology to make AGPs look like Rebecca Romijn
+Trent - Today at 11:17 PM
+it would sound more transphobic, no? you'd have transitioned, so you wouldn't be concerned with some of the signalling you do now (e.g. woman as a gender rather than transwoman as one) and may indeed be actively signalling that you haven't signed the contract, Yardley-style; the idea it'd be less transphobic assumes becoming Romijn would put you more in line with trans topics as well
+(unless I'm misinterpreting something, which is a reasonable assumption)
+Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 11:19 PM
+you're right; I wasn't taking the hypothetical seriously enough
+
+> ("Since I was 5, I felt like I've been dropped in the wrong skin. This is about correcting a mistake." "Oh, is that all it is? Really?" "That's the fast version.")
+
+sex diffs in paraphilias: https://muse.jhu.edu/article/669634/pdf
+
+malpractice lawsuit (can't find better public info): https://detransitionedwomenresistadf.wordpress.com/2017/11/19/first-blog-post/
+
+transition didn't change crime rate: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885
+
+"... your identity is supposed to describe the problems you face in your life, not manufacture them": http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/167070168982/old-school-butch-neat-dyke-something-that
+
+http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/162258180487/on-being-a-young-butch-lesbian-at-pride-2017
+
+http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/154578646192/negative-social-effects-of-my-mastectomy
+
+productivity lifehacks: do excellent work in an extremely low-status field that you'd be mortified to be primarily known for, thus forcing yourself to also do excellent work in another area in order to rescue your reputation
+
+https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7757667
+https://clarissasblog.com/2014/05/14/i-dont-want-to-hire-women/
+
+drawn by a cis woman?? http://weknowmemes.com/2013/11/perks-of-being-a-woman/
+
+"Impact of Using Non-Birth Sex on the Interpretation of Spirometry Data in Subjects With Air-Flow Obstruction": http://rc.rcjournal.com/content/early/2017/11/28/respcare.05586
+
+decrease in IQ on puberty suppression: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00528/full
+
+AGP pride flag origin: https://4archive.org/board/lgbt/thread/8628058/attached-image-is-the-agp-pride-flag-black-represents-the-r
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/6uc18b/has_any_of_you_felt_horny_when_using_a_packer_for/
+
+https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kbxw7v/i-was-robbed-of-my-transgender-childhood
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/4ltxc1/does_anyone_else_get_really_turned_on_checking/
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/7iqcaf/told_my_wife_i_want_to_transition/
+
+https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/5axie2/nsfw_im_mtf_i_feel_like_my_body_is_aroused_and/
+
+Lindsay Shepherd/James Damore shipfic
+
+Brazillian woman moves to Sweeden and cherished egalitarian culture: https://medium.com/@sayhellotovanessa/the-oddities-of-being-an-invisible-woman-8570394caa0d
+
+most of men's attractiveness is cues of upper-body strength: http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/284/1869/20171819
+
+> In the psychiatric evaluation, Johnson reveals that Kaczynski had persistent and intense sexual fantasies about being a woman. While he was a graduate student at the University of Michigan in 1967, he went to a psychiatrist to discuss his wishes for a sex change operation. But in the waiting room, he decided he could not go forward. Instead, he told the psychiatrist he was depressed about the possibility of being drafted.
+>
+> — https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1998/09/12/gender-confusion-sex-change-idea-fueled-kaczynskis-rage-report-says/eb33b946-8595-427d-af4c-9ccaada45935/?utm_term=.6222611253f6
+
+so I'm watching more of the retail comedy with :hearts:♡ Lauren Ash ♡:hearts:, and I think it's just _sociologically fascinating_ how the writers are playing Culture War (guest star character is pro-bathroom bill, and our protagonists are sneeringly like, "Wow, that's so bigoted")
+like, this is how social change happens
+with a conspiracy of NBC comedy writers conspiring to hamfistedly socially intimidate their viewers into not believing anything uncool
+that's my second thought, anyway
+my first thought is
+OMG ★♡ Lauren Ash ♡★ I want to be ~~with~~ her
+
+https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/erik-soderstrom/2016/09/23/superstore-goes-strike-mocks-bigots-against-transgender
+
+> Garrett: Hey, nik-nik-nikki. I had a quick just, like, silly question for you. Uh, how serious are you about all this sort of trans bathroom stuff?
+Nikki: What do you mean?
+Garrett: I mean, like, is it the only thing you think about or is it more like one of those barely talk about it, just how you were raised, opinion could change if you surrounded yourself with a cooler, more diverse group of friends type deals?
+
+(it's interesting that there's one other (semi-) widely-recognized expansion of that initialism)
+
+the "husband and provider and guardian of a small AI" game looks fun, that I would be so good at it that the thought isn't worth dropping just because you deserve Bob and Alice doesn't want me and Carol doesn't want me and Edith quietly detests me and Georgia belongs to Dave and the owners of OKCupid have pissed themselves laughing about how much money I'm paying them for the privilege of knowing that _ and _ haven't read my poem
+
+"You women and your risk-aversion (compared to men) due to lower reproductive variance (than men) in the environment of evolutionary adaptiveness" is what my analogue who is not forbidden from such thoughts would say
+
+I like her as a person but am very conscious of the extent to which I am currently on her good side due to luck and carefully deceptive handling
+
+(I don't even think I know what I use internally; my blog says "trans women" as two words so as not to pile insult onto injury) but my model, under whatever word, is "guys like me"
+
+like many bottom-80-percentile males, I'm ambiguous on the sign of the poly thing
+
+
+suffering is the chisel God uses to shape us into our true selves
+
+suffering is bad in general, but I've already used up my please-take-care-of-me-I'm-hurt quota for the year, which means I have to enthusiastically endorse any emotional pain that happens to me today
+
+everyone already knows to be cynical about cola commercials, but somehow people expect "Seek medical care if you're concerned" to be taken literally
+
+"We have so much in common!" I said. "Too much," she said.
+the cognitive dissonance that makes "all trans women" and "all closet crossdressers" the only stable equilibria for social circles of AGP males in a culture without a public concept of AGP
+https://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-essential-conflict/
+
+at JCC camp, I remember saying that I wasn't the kind of guy who was interested in big breasts. "Well, then you're not a guy," I was told. But actually I just hadn't hit puberty yet
+
+Like, I used to tack the word "aspiring" in front as my preferred means of indicating that we don't think we've already solved rationality. Nowadays, I just reach for the scare quotes.
+
+While I agree that words can be used in many ways depending on context, I claim that sometimes it's useful to use this top-20 noun to refer strictly to the same thing it's always referred to for the past 200,000 years since language evolved, even if we have reasonably chosen to broaden the extension of that noun to also include other, relevantly similar things in most day-to-day contexts! Given that people are capable of inferring what is meant from the relevant context, this won't confuse anyone, and we can continue peacefully using language to describe reality. Then, we can use those descriptions of reality to formulate plans! Plans that will steer the universe into regions of configuration space that rank higher in our individual and collective preference orderings!