+I ... need to write more about the phenomenology of this. I don't think the details are that important here? Maybe read the ["Man, I Feel Like a Woman" TV Tropes page](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManIFeelLikeAWoman) and consider that the page wouldn't have so many entries if some male writers didn't have a reason to be _extremely interested_ in _that particular fantasy scenario_.
+
+"It is said that parents do all the things they tell their children not to do, which is how they know not to do them." https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/DwtYPRuCxpXTrzG9m/my-wild-and-reckless-youth
+
+"don't ask me how I know this, and I won't tell you" https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/AeBfaMZt7e7ye38Hw/open-thread-november-1-15-2012#comment-ib37xYqDnJgxE285R
+
+Men who _fantasize about_ being women, do not particularly rememble actual women?
+
+([Amanda Marcotte](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Marcotte) once described one of my comments as "cute"! It ... was not a compliment.)
+
+, like drugs and sex, it wasn't salient to me as something that actually happens in real life, rather than on television
+
+(Where "girls" are the ones with a vagina, breasts, _&c._)
+
+changing emotions/accent fantasies: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/wAW4ENCSEHwYbrwtn/other-people-s-procedural-knowledge-gaps/comment/pheakgvLbFndXccXC
+
+/2017/Feb/a-beacon-through-the-darkness-or-getting-it-right-the-first-time/
+
+[TODO: sentence about how "gender identity" was offensive to me, link to "A Beacon"]
+
+
+https://web.archive.org/web/20200118114912/https://yudkowsky.net/obsolete/bookshelf.html
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+heresy
+
+learned things in the wrong order
+
+Anyway, I kind of spent the next ten years reading everything I could about sex and gender and transgender and feminism and evopsych and doing various things with my social presentation—sometimes things I regretted and reverted after a lot of pain—to try to seem not-masculine, all the while assuming that my gender problems were clearly not the same thing as the gender problems of actual trans women, because the standard narrative is that that's about gender identity being discordant from sex assigned at birth, which was clearly not what my thing was. I thought, essentially, "Gee, it's too bad this beautiful word which so perfectly describes the beautiful feeling at the center of my life happened to be coined in the context of this controversial theory about the etiology of MtF transsexualism which is probably false because everyone says it's obviously false."
+