Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git
14 months agodrafting "Fake Deeply"; outline second/end scene
Zack M. Davis [Tue, 5 Sep 2023 23:32:56 +0000 (16:32 -0700)]
drafting "Fake Deeply"; outline second/end scene

14 months agocheck in
Zack M. Davis [Tue, 5 Sep 2023 16:17:23 +0000 (09:17 -0700)]
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14 months agodrafting "Fake Deeply"
Zack M. Davis [Sun, 3 Sep 2023 00:20:19 +0000 (17:20 -0700)]
drafting "Fake Deeply"

14 months agodrafting "Fake Deeply"
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 2 Sep 2023 03:19:02 +0000 (20:19 -0700)]
drafting "Fake Deeply"

I'm really pleased with how this is coming together. I don't think
I've ever written such a technically slick story. (I don't even write
much fiction, do I?)

We're going with "Chloë" for the antagonist. (I think I've encountered
trans Adas or Isabellas in tech, which feels awkward even if it's
authentic, and anyway "Isabella" has a syllable collision with the
bell character.) I like the dieresis (and it's also therefore not a
TransCat reference). But then we have a dirgraph collision with
"Chad", so let's give our protagonist a less over-the-top name.

14 months agocheck in
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 1 Sep 2023 06:28:16 +0000 (23:28 -0700)]
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14 months agodrafting "Fake Deeply"
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 1 Sep 2023 02:24:42 +0000 (19:24 -0700)]
drafting "Fake Deeply"

14 months agomemoir: fresh look TODOs, yank dath ilan comments to ancillary post
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 30 Aug 2023 01:18:04 +0000 (18:18 -0700)]
memoir: fresh look TODOs, yank dath ilan comments to ancillary post

14 months agocheck in
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14 months agocheck in
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15 months agocheck in
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15 months agomemoir: cut "Arcadia" reunion
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 28 Jul 2023 23:40:59 +0000 (16:40 -0700)]
memoir: cut "Arcadia" reunion

After getting private feedback and publishing pt. 1–2, I'm feeling a
better sense of what to cut. Despite the project being a "memoir", no
one care about me. Hopefully, I should be able to cut enough to merge
"Agreeing with Stalin" and "Zevi's Choice" into one post.

15 months agocheck in
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15 months ago"Hill of Validity": cut "Blame Me" analogy
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 28 Jul 2023 00:37:31 +0000 (17:37 -0700)]
"Hill of Validity": cut "Blame Me" analogy

If I couldn't explain it to Said Achmiz in three tries, it can't have
been that insightful.

16 months ago"Hill of Validity": rewrite ending
Zack M. Davis [Thu, 20 Jul 2023 21:08:51 +0000 (14:08 -0700)]
"Hill of Validity": rewrite ending

This was terrible writing on my part; I had summarized something Ben
said, which made sense to us at the time, but isn't a clear
explanation for my readers now.

16 months agoremove MIRIcult archive link
Zack M. Davis [Thu, 20 Jul 2023 17:56:10 +0000 (10:56 -0700)]
remove MIRIcult archive link

Someone argued in my PMs that the link was harmful for spreading
private personal information, and I was initially inclined to take a
principled anti-censorship stand. (The link is a relevant exhibit
about the incident being discussed; I'm not endorsing it or going out
of my way to signal-boost it.) Ultimately, I'm deciding to give in
because the link isn't very important to my story and it's not worth
my time to argue about it. Arguably this means I'm not taking a
principled anti-extortion stand, either? On theme!

16 months ago"Blanchard's Dangerous Idea": clarify the "words don't matter" remark
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 19 Jul 2023 01:56:13 +0000 (18:56 -0700)]
"Blanchard's Dangerous Idea": clarify the "words don't matter" remark

Alyssa was unhappy with this
(https://twitter.com/alyssamvance/status/1681441114384109568). I
probably should have hired a hostile prereader after all.

16 months ago"twelve short stories about language" ancillary page
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 19 Jul 2023 00:38:00 +0000 (17:38 -0700)]
"twelve short stories about language" ancillary page

Yoav Ravid asked for this in the comments
(https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/ZjXtjRQaD2b4PAser/a-hill-of-validity-in-defense-of-meaning/comment/BGznhMoiCafsWzecy);
it's not worth a separate blog post, but I can put it up as ancillary
page.

16 months agocheck in
Zack M. Davis [Tue, 18 Jul 2023 23:09:25 +0000 (16:09 -0700)]
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16 months agopull the trigger on memoir pt. 2?!
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 15 Jul 2023 17:50:24 +0000 (10:50 -0700)]
pull the trigger on memoir pt. 2?!

16 months agomemoir: pt. 2 homestretch tweaks
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 15 Jul 2023 05:08:18 +0000 (22:08 -0700)]
memoir: pt. 2 homestretch tweaks

Is the paragraph about my history with Ziz too many words? I think it
adds "color" to mention how my Dumb Story overlaps with another
community drama case.

16 months agocheck in
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16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits (through pt. 2 end)
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 14 Jul 2023 03:08:10 +0000 (20:08 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits (through pt. 2 end)

16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits to "A Hill"
Zack M. Davis [Thu, 13 Jul 2023 03:50:49 +0000 (20:50 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits to "A Hill"

16 months agocheck in
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 12 Jul 2023 23:15:13 +0000 (16:15 -0700)]
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16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits to "A Hill"
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 12 Jul 2023 02:49:54 +0000 (19:49 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits to "A Hill"

16 months agocheck in
Zack M. Davis [Sun, 9 Jul 2023 22:07:58 +0000 (15:07 -0700)]
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16 months agopull the trigger on memoir pt. 1?!
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 8 Jul 2023 17:42:15 +0000 (10:42 -0700)]
pull the trigger on memoir pt. 1?!

16 months agomemoir: pt. 1 homestretch
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 8 Jul 2023 06:31:32 +0000 (23:31 -0700)]
memoir: pt. 1 homestretch

16 months agomemoir: pt. 1 home stretch shine and polish
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 8 Jul 2023 02:02:39 +0000 (19:02 -0700)]
memoir: pt. 1 home stretch shine and polish

16 months agomemoir: cut introduction to NRx on women
Zack M. Davis [Sat, 8 Jul 2023 00:38:25 +0000 (17:38 -0700)]
memoir: cut introduction to NRx on women

Pro editor predictably had comments and "Thomas" himself agrees that
she has a point. It's better to focus on the parts I know how to
explain that are necessary to the story, rather than being a
comprehensive and needlessly-edgy Diary entry.

16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits (through pt. 1 end)
Zack M. Davis [Fri, 7 Jul 2023 02:14:34 +0000 (19:14 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits (through pt. 1 end)

16 months agodrop the pseudonym
Zack M. Davis [Wed, 5 Jul 2023 02:30:50 +0000 (19:30 -0700)]
drop the pseudonym

16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 3 Jul 2023 23:52:34 +0000 (16:52 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits

16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 2 Jul 2023 22:57:47 +0000 (15:57 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits

16 months agomemoir: applying pro edits
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 2 Jul 2023 05:24:39 +0000 (22:24 -0700)]
memoir: applying pro edits

My pro wasn't ghosting me after all; she was just lazy!

16 months agomemoir: near editing tier
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 1 Jul 2023 21:09:55 +0000 (14:09 -0700)]
memoir: near editing tier

16 months agomemoir: let's go on near editing tier
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 30 Jun 2023 01:59:25 +0000 (18:59 -0700)]
memoir: let's go on near editing tier

I'm disappointed that the pro editor I hired is ghosting me! (I think
I had used "I should be getting professional edits soon" as an excuse
to procrastinate on this list.) I don't think there's time to find
another. I want to address the issues on this list (or even skip
some), finish my privacy negotiations, and push this out the door. It
shouldn't be more than a week.

16 months agocheck in
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17 months agocheck in
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17 months agopublish Autoheterosexual endorsement
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 21 Jun 2023 21:10:25 +0000 (14:10 -0700)]
publish Autoheterosexual endorsement

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agoa re-renym
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 18 Jun 2023 05:05:34 +0000 (22:05 -0700)]
a re-renym

17 months agomemoir: cut Boston/New York trip from pt. 5
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 17 Jun 2023 07:02:21 +0000 (00:02 -0700)]
memoir: cut Boston/New York trip from pt. 5

This is even less relevant than the psych ward thing! Narcissistic
much?!

17 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 16 Jun 2023 22:38:24 +0000 (15:38 -0700)]
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17 months agomemoir: "A Hill" editing sweep to end
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 16 Jun 2023 04:56:27 +0000 (21:56 -0700)]
memoir: "A Hill" editing sweep to end

17 months agothere's definitely not going to be a pt. 7, dummy!!
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 15 Jun 2023 21:42:28 +0000 (14:42 -0700)]
there's definitely not going to be a pt. 7, dummy!!

I was so angry about the mistreatment of Said that I was thinking of
making a new part about it, but I'm over my drama budget and over my
navel-gazing budget: there's only so many tens of thousands of words I
can spend on this. I can mention the early-2023 moderation drama in a
few paragraphs in a conclusion, but it's obviously not worth the
effort of a play-by-play.

17 months agopublish "Interlude XXII"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 15 Jun 2023 19:10:29 +0000 (12:10 -0700)]
publish "Interlude XXII"

17 months agomemoir: "A Hill" editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 15 Jun 2023 02:31:15 +0000 (19:31 -0700)]
memoir: "A Hill" editing sweep ...

17 months agomemoir: "A Hill" edit pass ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 14 Jun 2023 06:26:58 +0000 (23:26 -0700)]
memoir: "A Hill" edit pass ...

17 months agomove the pt. 1/2 cutpoint down, and cut pt. 2!!
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 11 Jun 2023 19:13:44 +0000 (12:13 -0700)]
move the pt. 1/2 cutpoint down, and cut pt. 2!!

Okay, it was pretty dumb of me to spend so much extra time writing a
lot of words that I don't ultimately want to keep.

(I could end up polishing and publishing the full madness story
eventually, but I don't need it for the Whole Dumb Story that I'm
prioritizing as my lifework right now and want to make a big marketing
push for.)

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agopublish Janet Mock quotepost
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 11 Jun 2023 16:12:38 +0000 (09:12 -0700)]
publish Janet Mock quotepost

The blog isn't dead! You'll see that soon! (Given that I want to
publish memoir pts. 1–3 this month—right?—I probably should have
spread out the fillerposts more so there's not so much month-bunching
in the archives? That's very minor.)

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agocheck in
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17 months agomemoir: "People" editing sweep
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 10 Jun 2023 04:36:02 +0000 (21:36 -0700)]
memoir: "People" editing sweep

17 months agomemoir: the easiest solution to ms. bloat: apologize?!
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 9 Jun 2023 21:49:09 +0000 (14:49 -0700)]
memoir: the easiest solution to ms. bloat: apologize?!

Is it horrifying for an author to point out "As a reader, you can skip
whatever you want"? (Isn't it the author's responsibility to not write
text that people will want to skip?)

Maybe it's not? Math books have an established convention for this!
(Putting a star next to the sections or exercises that someone might
want to skip on a first reading.)

Is it horrifying that this "patch" for a bloated ms. involves adding
more wordcount? That's more likely. We'll see if we can cut enough to
make up for it.

17 months agomemoir: "People" editing sweep through Facebook meltdown
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 9 Jun 2023 01:37:50 +0000 (18:37 -0700)]
memoir: "People" editing sweep through Facebook meltdown

I managed to cut 200 words, at least? Friend of the blog Ninety-Three
argues that the psychosis stuff that follows isn't that relevant to
the Whole Dumb Story I'm telling about the "rationalists". From here
to the end of the post, I want to be significantly more aggressive
about cutting wordcount (and conservative in adding wordcount for the
couple of remaining TODO sections).

I want to keep generalizable intellectual insights, but cut any
autobiographical details or psychosis-dream specifics that aren't
unusually cute or funny. It might be good to open with a high-level
graf or two about why writing about psychosis is hard, but why I have
to say something about it anyway. (If I explain my high-level
takeaways up front, I'll feel less inhibited about cutting details
that don't matter.)

17 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 8 Jun 2023 03:56:06 +0000 (20:56 -0700)]
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17 months agomemoir: "People" editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 8 Jun 2023 03:55:38 +0000 (20:55 -0700)]
memoir: "People" editing sweep ...

17 months agomemoir: define the taxon initialisms
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 8 Jun 2023 00:46:55 +0000 (17:46 -0700)]
memoir: define the taxon initialisms

I don't think I actually end up saying "HSTS", but I do say "AGP" a
few times (including while quoting someone else), and I need to define
it.

17 months agomemoir: "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea" ispell pass
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 7 Jun 2023 21:49:31 +0000 (14:49 -0700)]
memoir: "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea" ispell pass

I feel like I don't usually make this many typos? Or is it that I'm
more used to doing an ispell pass on a 1500- rather than 15,000-word
piece?

17 months agomemoir: editing sweep through end of "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 7 Jun 2023 19:28:33 +0000 (12:28 -0700)]
memoir: editing sweep through end of "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea"

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agooutlining for the generative AI story
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 6 Jun 2023 20:16:56 +0000 (13:16 -0700)]
outlining for the generative AI story

17 months agothought of a title for the generative AI story
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 6 Jun 2023 15:35:43 +0000 (08:35 -0700)]
thought of a title for the generative AI story

It's cute to have a title that alludes to both the AI angle, and the
deception angle. My first working-title ideas where "Deepfake" and
"Generative Adversary".

I like the way the latter (unlike the former) alludes to an AI term
without just being that term, but it only sort-of fits the story
(insofar as our potagonist is the adversary of the Trust and Safety
establishment and is inclined to creatively oppose them), and the AI
term it alludes to only sort-of fits (insofar as GANs are famous for
image synthesis).

In contrast, this title nails it on both criteria! "Deepfake" really
is the general term for the video of Elaine (I think it was originally
coined for face-swaps, but it should cover de novo synthesis), and
"Fake Deeply" actually describes the moral about deception (pulling
off deception is hard because of how exhaustively and recursively you
need to cover your tracks).

The title is so perfect that it might actually make me more motivated
to finish the story sooner (even though I'm "supposed" to be polishing
memoir 1–3 ASAP and then making moving preparations)? Maybe that's
bad, a distraction?

It would be good to at least finish the story sometime this
year. ("Plain Speech Valley Squirrels" sat in my drafts folder for six
years, but I'm worried if I let this one sit for six years, it'll be
overcome by events in technology.)

Even though this shouldn't be a Less Wrong exclusive (because of the
sex angle), I think it's fine to linkpost there. Description: "A short
story about generative AI and instrumental incentives for
deception. (_Content warning_: lewdness, transphobia.) (Xember 202X,
X000 words)"

17 months agoimport generative AI story draft
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 6 Jun 2023 00:01:40 +0000 (17:01 -0700)]
import generative AI story draft

I was originally imagining posting this as a Less Wrong exclusive
(because of the AI angle), but they probably don't want it (because of
the sex angle).

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agomemoir: "Roberta" crisis to § end
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 3 Jun 2023 22:46:54 +0000 (15:46 -0700)]
memoir: "Roberta" crisis to § end

17 months agomemoir: editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 3 Jun 2023 19:38:32 +0000 (12:38 -0700)]
memoir: editing sweep ...

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agomemoir: editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 3 Jun 2023 01:34:40 +0000 (18:34 -0700)]
memoir: editing sweep ...

17 months agomemoir: "Roberta" crisis email series
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 3 Jun 2023 00:37:21 +0000 (17:37 -0700)]
memoir: "Roberta" crisis email series

17 months agocheck in
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17 months agomemoir: "People" ending §
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 1 Jun 2023 20:02:13 +0000 (13:02 -0700)]
memoir: "People" ending §

17 months agomemoir: bullet outline for "Roberta" crisis
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 31 May 2023 22:27:03 +0000 (15:27 -0700)]
memoir: bullet outline for "Roberta" crisis

17 months agomemoir: editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 31 May 2023 20:55:57 +0000 (13:55 -0700)]
memoir: editing sweep ...

"I have had the strength to live through it; I shall have the strength
to write it down."

17 months agomemoir: early editing sweep, and remembering why we're here
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 31 May 2023 00:51:30 +0000 (17:51 -0700)]
memoir: early editing sweep, and remembering why we're here

I had been feeling bleh about the project, even though I'm so close to
being able to ship pt.s 1–3: I've been resisting even outlining the
parts about being insane, because it hurts to look at. But reading
over the first part and making line edits, I'm reminded that this is
good stuff! I want to ship this as soon as possible!

If I'm feeling trepidatious ("You mean trepidations, the noun?" "No.")
about the parts that are about psychosis rather than about
autogynephilia, that's all the more reason to work hard to make those
publishable, rather than feeling afraid and gross about it, and
continuing to waste my short life on not-writing and
not-having-written!

(There's an obvious third alternative of just cutting the parts that I
feel doubts about, but I think the psychosis is actually part of the
story, not something I can skip or gloss over in a paragraph. I might
very well want to cut down some of the thousands of words I've
written, if it turns out that I don't like them and they're not as
relevant to the my grand theses about Society. But I need to at least
try to tell the story about being crazy first, before I cut it down
and scale it back.)

17 months agomemoir: infovism email
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 30 May 2023 22:57:01 +0000 (15:57 -0700)]
memoir: infovism email

I was imagining including some of the NRxy language about delusional
activists, but that can be folded in elsewhere rather than cluttering
up this summary.

17 months agoa re-nym
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 30 May 2023 14:06:41 +0000 (07:06 -0700)]
a re-nym

Normal Jewish name, like the protagonist of Crazy Ex

17 months agoa re-nym
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 30 May 2023 14:03:21 +0000 (07:03 -0700)]
a re-nym

Someone in Tail's sexology circle already uses "Trent" as a pseudonym;
that's too confusing even if he didn't meant the notability threshold
for this Whole Dumb Story.

17 months agomemoir: credit-assignment, famous people answer mail
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 30 May 2023 04:31:57 +0000 (21:31 -0700)]
memoir: credit-assignment, famous people answer mail

17 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 29 May 2023 03:50:04 +0000 (20:50 -0700)]
check in

17 months agomemoir: filling March 2017
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 28 May 2023 04:59:24 +0000 (21:59 -0700)]
memoir: filling March 2017

17 months agocheck in net tasks
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 27 May 2023 21:07:54 +0000 (14:07 -0700)]
check in net tasks

17 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 27 May 2023 04:34:22 +0000 (21:34 -0700)]
check in

17 months agomemoir: Vassar on censorship; Heinlein vs. Serano
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 26 May 2023 02:13:43 +0000 (19:13 -0700)]
memoir: Vassar on censorship; Heinlein vs. Serano

The Heinlein tidbit is definitely worth mentioning somewhere (I hadn't
previously blogged it, and if this is where it shows up in my
correspondence history, I guess this is where it shows up in the
memoir and therefore the blog), but I wasn't sure whether it was worth
the wordcount to summarize the whole thread, or if I should gloss it
over with "during a conversation about Milo"—but I'm actually feeling
good about this use of wordcount? It's giving the audience a taste of
who Vassar is (which I can't summarize).

18 months agomemoir: outlining March 2017
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 24 May 2023 22:48:27 +0000 (15:48 -0700)]
memoir: outlining March 2017

18 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 24 May 2023 02:13:24 +0000 (19:13 -0700)]
check in

18 months agomemoir: Vassar discourse
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 24 May 2023 02:12:45 +0000 (19:12 -0700)]
memoir: Vassar discourse

18 months agomemoir editing sweep ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 23 May 2023 04:38:32 +0000 (21:38 -0700)]
memoir editing sweep ...

18 months agomemoir: Intensive Outpatient Program, intensive Michael Vassar
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 23 May 2023 03:57:43 +0000 (20:57 -0700)]
memoir: Intensive Outpatient Program, intensive Michael Vassar

18 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 21 May 2023 15:54:18 +0000 (08:54 -0700)]
check in

18 months agocheck in Tuesday
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 17 May 2023 04:20:42 +0000 (21:20 -0700)]
check in Tuesday

18 months agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 16 May 2023 06:35:53 +0000 (23:35 -0700)]
check in

18 months agomemoir: "Dangerous Idea" cliffhanger
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 16 May 2023 06:34:25 +0000 (23:34 -0700)]
memoir: "Dangerous Idea" cliffhanger

18 months agomemoir: remaining 5150 scene scraps
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 15 May 2023 22:43:19 +0000 (15:43 -0700)]
memoir: remaining 5150 scene scraps

There'll be some editing/rearranging to make this into a coherent
section, but here's the prose of things I remember.

18 months agopoke
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 15 May 2023 05:07:24 +0000 (22:07 -0700)]
poke

18 months agomemoir: quick recap intro to "People ... Rocks"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 14 May 2023 23:27:56 +0000 (16:27 -0700)]
memoir: quick recap intro to "People ... Rocks"

Turning out wordcount isn't hard when you already basically know what
to say. And I'm not doing novel philosophy (where the hard part is
figuring out what to say) in this section of the project: I'm writing
about my life, where I surely already know basically what to say,
because I know what happened.

Finishing up this post should be fast! If it's not fast, it's because
of some latent emotion of shame, a refusal-to-look at painful
memories. But I should be over that now.