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-In [my last HRT post](/2017/Jul/whats-my-motivation-or-hormones-day-89/), I mentioned one (relatively minor) motive for the experiment being a desire for trans legitimacy. If I'm going to write about trans issues with the hope of having an impact on the _Zeitgeist_ (and whatever Google Analytics says about my _current_ twenty sessions a day—is that really so unrealistic, after I write more and put more effort into (tasteful) social-media marketing?), it helps to establish credibility that I really am in the relevant reference class. _Given_ that that motivation exists, it's certainly better to acknowledge it rather than not-acknowledge it. But also, establishing credibility is kind of a _bad_ thing to have thumbing the scales on a major medical decision. After all, if I were optimizing for telling the best possible story here and having the greatest impact, the thing to do would be to transition. (Actual trans women like Anne Lawrence and [Miranda Yardley](http://mirandayardley.com/) are way more interesting than mere gender-dysphoric men like me.) Which has its temptations ...
+In [my last HRT post](/2017/Jul/whats-my-motivation-or-hormones-day-89/), I mentioned one (relatively minor) motive for the experiment being a desire for trans legitimacy. If I'm going to write about trans issues with the hope of having an impact on the _Zeitgeist_ (and whatever Google Analytics says about my _current_ twenty sessions a day—is that really so unrealistic, after I write more and put more effort into (tasteful) social-media marketing?), it helps to establish credibility that I really am in the relevant reference class. _Given_ that that motivation exists, it's certainly better to acknowledge it rather than not-acknowledge it. But also, establishing credibility is kind of a _bad_ thing to have thumbing the scales on a major medical decision. After all, if I were optimizing for telling the best possible story here and having the greatest impact, the thing to do would be to transition. (Actual trans women like [Anne Lawrence](http://www.annelawrence.com) and [Miranda Yardley](http://mirandayardley.com/) are way more interesting than mere gender-dysphoric men like me.) Which has its temptations ...
But no. I already have a _name_; I already have a _life_. And that's _final_.
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-For all the ambiguity I've expressed in this post, I want to emphasize how much this is _something I had to try_. In my Diary entry number 318, dated 24 March 2009, I wrote—
+For all the ambiguity I've expressed in this post, I want to emphasize how much this is _something I had to try_. In [my Diary entry number 318](/ancillary/diary/318/), dated 24 March 2009, I wrote—
> If it makes sense to speak of stripping away my autogynephila and my explicitly egalitarian-individualist ideology, would my very soul be revealed as male?
-(Editor's note: _yes_.)
+(Editor's note: _yes_. Because I have a male brain, and sufficiently-advanced soul science would be able to notice. It doesn't manifest as a _consciously-felt_ explicit "gender identity"—but [why should it?](/2016/Sep/psychology-is-about-invalidating-peoples-identities/))
> And if so, what can I do about it? What violence could I inflict upon me to make me my _self_?
>
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / blobdiff