Tags: anecdotal, cosplay, Steven Universe
Status: draft
-_(Attention conservation notice: Diary-like navel-gazing today. If you're here for the insight porn, come back tomorrow. If you're here for Actual Philosophy, come back next week.)_
+_(Attention conservation notice: Diary-like navel-gazing today. If you're here for the Actual Philosophy, come back next week.)_
> ROSE: [...] we can't both exist. I'm going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that's me, loving you, and loving _being_ you.
>
> —_Steven Universe_, "Lion 3: Straight to Video"
-I cosplayed [Rose Quartz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Steven_Universe_characters#Rose_Quartz) on Saturday at [FanimeCon](https://www.fanime.com/) the other month! It was fun, I think! I guess?
+I cosplayed [Rose Quartz](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Steven_Universe_characters#Rose_Quartz) on Saturday at [FanimeCon](https://www.fanime.com/) the other month! (Okay, it was May. I'm [not a very productive writer](/2017/Nov/the-blockhead/).) It was fun, I think! I guess?
-I'm not really sure what other people get out of fandom conventions. There are panels, but pop-culture analysis is better in blog form than live discussion. There are autographs, but there are only so many celebrities
+I'm not really sure what other people get out of fandom conventions. There are panels, but pop-culture analysis is better in blog form than live discussion. There are autographs, but there are only so many celebrities I want to pay forty dollars in order to meet for forty seconds. There's the vendor hall, but I don't need more useless material possessions: my life is about bits, not atoms.
+
+<a href="/images/rose_quartz_fanime_2019.jpg"><img src="/images/rose_quartz_fanime_2019.jpg" width="240" style="float: left; margin: 0.8pc;"></a>
For me, it's my one socially-acceptable excuse for crossdressing in public.
+... well, that's not quite right; "socially-acceptable" isn't the concept I want. I live in goddamned _"Portland"_. (Which is actually Berkeley, but when I started my pseudonymous gender blog, I took my savvy friends' cowardly and paranoid advice to obfuscate even my location, and now I have to keep saying "'Portland'" for backwards compatibility, even though at this point my bad opsec is more akin to a genre convention or a running joke, rather than a real attempt to conceal my identity.) Everyone _and her dog_ has trans friends here. My new young male coworker just staight-up wears a dress and makeup some days, and no one bats an eye. (My attempt to "Blanchpill" him was ... uneventful.)
+
+So if I don't need to fear getting beaten up or even menacing stares, why do I need conventions to dress up? Could part of it be that I'm too old? (The fact that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a dress _to work_ (!!) probably has something to do with my sense of propriety being calibrated to the world of 'aught-six, in contrast to my coworker, who I guess would have come of age in the _Obergefell_- and Jenner-era world of 'fifteen.)
+
+Maybe. But I think another part of it is that I don't
+
+I'm not very good at it
+
colorful sandals
[thousand-dollar ultra-realistic mask](https://www.creafx.com/en/special-make-up-effects/taylor-silicone-mask/)
(previously: as Ens. Silvia Tilly at San Francisco Comic-Con 2018, as _Equestria Girls_ Twilight Sparkle at BABSCon 2018, [as Korra at San Francisco Comic-Con 2017](/2017/Oct/a-leaf-in-the-crosswind/), [as Pearl at FanimeCon 2017](http://zackmdavis.net/blog/2017/05/gems-will-be-gems/), as [Lt. Jadzia Dax (circa 2369) at the _Star Trek_ 50 Year Mission Tour San Francisco 2016](/2016/Dec/joined/), [as Pearl as San Francsico Comic-Con 2016](/2016/Sep/is-there-affirmative-action-for-incompetent-crossplay/))
Raven is cosplayed more than any other Teen Titan
+
+Amazon authored my costome; I'm kind of a low-effort cosplayer
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