https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/12/02/book-review-on-the-road/
+https://archive.is/kDO75
+
+https://github.com/ZoeyWolfe/have-you-read-nevada
+
+http://web.archive.org/web/20171013145452/http://haveyoureadnevada.com/nevada.pdf
+
[...]
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[Steph is reminiscing about her relationship with Maria.]
+> But it turns out that <u>using your partner basically as a sex toy to get yourself off</u>—suspending disbelief and convincing yourself that she's hot for you, that she's into it—is even lonelier than never getting off.
+
+<u>usually</u> it's the trans woman in the relationship doing this—author projection??
+
+> <u>Who knows what Maria is hot for, what kind of kinks she has</u>. <u>Maria herself probably doesn't know</u>.
+
+yes, who knows??
+
+> No matter how clear Steph has been about <u>the fact that no kink could possibly be too shameful to admit</u>, even something horrifying you'd never actually want to do in real life, Maria won't fess up to anything.
+
+well, I can think of <u>one</u> ...
+
+> One time Steph observed that Maria tends not to be very performy, and <u>when she is performy, it's almost always for herself</u>, not for anyone else.
+
+★ ♡ [[I'm like this](/2017/Dec/a-common-misunderstanding-or-the-spirit-of-the-staircase-24-january-2009/#narrative-optimization), too.]
+
+[A description of James H.'s girlfriend, Nicole.]
+
+> When she was fourteen or fifteen she bought a copy of Bitch magazine at Thanks Books at the base of the mountain on the east side and it was all downhill: classic feminist awakening stuff. Dots started connecting. The righteous fury about having to wear a dress to chruch when she was little and not being allowed to climb trees with the boys came back with the fury of a thousand suns. Turned out she was right to be mad about the way every grown man in town looked at her starting when she was twelve.
+>
+> She was the sixteen-year-old talking about Andrea Dworkin at the lunch table. Suddenly it made sense to fantasize about making out with Jason Sanger, the floppy-haired second-string kicker on the football team, and then knocking him over instead of marrying him. Basically she could see through misogynist rape culture and didn't want anything to do with it. She tried to be a lesbian, but it didn't work. She would try to think about Kathleen Hanna or Princess Leia or Scarlett Johanson when she jacked off, but no luck. At the last second they'd turn into Jason Sanger and his arms, his legs, his smirk and his tiny little butt.
+
+a novel about Nicole would be better than this one, but Imogen Binnie couldn't write it
+
+> It was a major dilemma until one day, at the lunch table, humorless feminist nonfiction tome on the table in front of her, she noticed James for the first time. Like, noticed noticed. <u>Hair to his shoulders</u>, probably too skinny, almost pretty but carrying himself like a boy, sitting at a table with Mark Richardson, probably talking about weed.
+
+check
+
+[Part 2, Chapter 5 describes James's autogynephilia.]
+
+this chapter is <u>so real</u>
+
+> <u>It's not like James is proud</u> of the pron that he looks at, but what are you supposed to do? Will yourself not to be a pervert? He's tried. He's still trying. He tries most nights.
+
+try being proud?
+
+
+
+
+
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projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / blobdiff