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[Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git] / content / drafts / hrunkner-unnerby-and-the-shallowness-of-progress.md

diff --git a/content/drafts/hrunkner-unnerby-and-the-shallowness-of-progress.md b/content/drafts/hrunkner-unnerby-and-the-shallowness-of-progress.md
index 7c71f99..e1a5f07 100644 (file)
--- a/content/drafts/hrunkner-unnerby-and-the-shallowness-of-progress.md
+++ b/content/drafts/hrunkner-unnerby-and-the-shallowness-of-progress.md
@@ -18,14 +18,14 @@ Still, there are tensions. When Unnerby visits Underhill's home and meets the ch
 
 > Unnerby started to make some weak excuse, stopped. He just couldn't pretend anymore. Besides, Sherkaner was so much easier to face than the General. "You know why I didn't come before, Sherk. In fact, I wouldn't be here now if General Smith hadn't given me explicit orders. I'd follow her through Hell, you know that. But she wants more. She wants acceptance of your perversions. I—You two have such beautiful children, Sherk. How could you do such a thing to them?"
 
-Underhill is resolute, convinced that Society's prejudices can be overcome after they are shown to be irrational. The children host a "Children's Hour of Science" radio program, without their oophase status being public knowledge at first. Underhill hopes the program will help normalize oophase people when the stars' ages eventually leak.
+Underhill is resolute, convinced that Society's prejudices can be overcome after they are shown to be irrational. (The fact that one of the children, Brent, is intellectually challenged, doesn't faze him; that could be a coincidence.) The children host a "Children's Hour of Science" radio program, without their oophase status being public knowledge at first. Underhill hopes the program will help normalize oophase people when the stars' ages eventually leak.
 
 During a crisis in which the children have been kidnapped by agents of a foreign power, Smith blows up at Unnerby when he makes some tone-deaf remarks. "For years you've pretended to be a friend, but always sneering and hating us. Enough!" she cries out, striking him. She continues to hold a grudge against him for years.
 
-Smith and Unnerby eventually meet again as the sun is growing cold. Unnerby feels the unease of people being awake this long into the Dark, and senses the same in Smith. "You feel the same as I do about it, don't you?" he asks her.
+Smith and Unnerby eventually meet again as the sun is growing cold. Unnerby feels the unease of people being awake this long into the Dark, and senses the same in Smith. "You feel the same as I do about it, don't you?" he asks her. She reluctantly concedes this, and notes that their Society is running up against a lot of instinct.
 
-[TODO—  
-  * one of the children, Brent, is intellectually challenged
-]
+[TODO— how do I want to tie this off??
 
 Every improvement is a necessarily a change, but _not every change is an improvement_.
+
+]
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