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[Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git] / content / drafts / i-tell-myself-to-let-the-story-end.md

diff --git a/content/drafts/i-tell-myself-to-let-the-story-end.md b/content/drafts/i-tell-myself-to-let-the-story-end.md
index 1957261..2bb2744 100644 (file)
--- a/content/drafts/i-tell-myself-to-let-the-story-end.md
+++ b/content/drafts/i-tell-myself-to-let-the-story-end.md
@@ -1,7 +1,7 @@
-Title: "I Tell Myself to Let the Story End"
+Title: "I Tell Myself to Let the Story End"; Or, A Hill of Validity in Defense of Meaning
 Date: 2020-01-01
-Category: commentary
-Tags: personal
+Category: other
+Tags: personal, my robot cult
 Status: draft
 
 > _And I tell myself to let the story end  
@@ -14,19 +14,27 @@ Status: draft
 >
 > —Sara Barellies, ["Gonna Get Over You"](https://genius.com/Sara-bareilles-gonna-get-over-you-lyrics)
 
-So, I haven't been doing so well for the past four and a half months.
+I mostly haven't been doing so well for the past nine months or so. I mean, I've always been a high-neuroticism person, but this has been a below-average year even by my standards. I've been reluctant to write about it in too much detail for poorly-understood psychological reasons. Maybe it would feel too much like attacking my friends?
 
-Explaining this will require some context.
+But this blog is not about _not_ attacking my friends. This blog is about the truth. For my own sanity, for my own emotional closure, I need to tell the story as best I can. If it's an incredibly boring and petty story about people getting _unreasonably angry_ about philosophy-of-language minutiæ, well, you've been warned. If the story makes me look bad in the reader's eyes (because you think I'm crazy for getting so unreasonably angry about philosophy-of-language minutiæ), then I shall be happy to look bad for an _accurate_ account of _what I actually am_—I should expect nothing less.
 
-I've spent basically my entire adult life
 
-believed our own propoganda
 
-Blanchard ... categories
 
-cognitive dissonance
 
-smart people clearly know
 
 
-I'll be alright. Just not tonight.
+
+This is _basic shit_. As we say locally, this is _basic Sequences shit_. 
+
+
+
+Now, it's not obvious that I _shouldn't_ cut my dick off! A lot of people seem to be doing it nowadays, and a lot of them seem to be pretty happy with their decision! But in order to _decide_ whether it's a good idea, I need _accurate information_
+
+, so that I can cut my dick off in the possible worlds where that's a good idea, and not cut my dick off in the possible worlds where that's not a good idea.
+
+
+
+actively manufacture _fake rationality lessons_ that have been optimized to _confuse me into cutting my dick off_ independently of whether or not we live in a world
+
+