memoir: pt. 3 edit sweep ...

[Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git] / notes / memoir-sections.md

diff --git a/notes/memoir-sections.md b/notes/memoir-sections.md
index b8d41fe..77d78eb 100644 (file)
--- a/notes/memoir-sections.md
+++ b/notes/memoir-sections.md
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-first edit pass bookmark: "I also wrote a little post on"
+first edit pass bookmark: "I received a Twitter DM from"
 
 blocks to fit somewhere—
 _ the hill he wants to die on (conclusion for "Zevi's Choice"??)
@@ -19,6 +19,7 @@ pt. 3 edit tier—
 ✓ "I" statements
 ✓ we can go stronger than "I definitely don't think Yudkowsky thinks of himself
 ✓ cut words from December 2019 blogging spree
+✓ mention "Darkest Timeline" and Skyrms somewhere
 -----
 _ Ben on "locally coherent coordination": use direct quotes for Ben's language—maybe rewrite in my own language (footnote?) as an understanding test
 _ "Not the Incentives"—rewrite given that I'm not shielding Ray
@@ -38,7 +39,6 @@ _ in a footnote, defend the "cutting my dick off" rhetorical flourish
 _ choice quotes in "end of the Category War" thank you note
 _ do I have a better identifier than "Vassarite"?
 _ maybe I do want to fill in a few more details about the Sasha disaster, conditional on what I end up writing regarding Scott's prosecution?—and conditional on my separate retro email—also the Zolpidem thing
-_ mention "Darkest Timeline" and Skyrms somewhere
 _ footnote explaining quibbles? (the first time I tried to write this, I hesitated, not sure if necessary)
 _ "it was the same thing here"—most readers are not going to understand what I see as the obvious analogy
 _ first mention of Jack G. should introduce him properly