✓ CCRMC facility note
✓ footnote about telephone game of "self present"
✓ interacting with the outpatient program
-- Vassar discourse
-_ emailing Blanchard/Bailey/Hsu/Lawrence/Cantor
-_ footnote about "density of outright falsehoods"
-_ security code drama?? ("Although, speaking of documenting" 2 March)
-_ integrate 5150 scene scraps into a coherent section
-_ misc. March activities: asking Anna for promise, meeting Jessica, ordering DIY hormones, proposed credit-assignment ritual
-_ "Roberta" situation
+✓ Vassar discourse I
+✓ community health check
+✓ Vassar discourse II
+✓ ordering DIY hormones
+✓ asking Anna for promise
+✓ Vassar discourse III
+✓ proposed credit-assignment ritual
+✓ emailing Blanchard/Bailey/Hsu/Lawrence/Cantor/Dreger
+✓ tie-off
+✓ "Roberta" situation
_ overheating in April, staying at Volterra, Hamilton purchase
_ BABSCon
_ "my call with Western Psychiatric's Manager of Patient Relations"
-_ chat transcript relevant to War on Optimization for Generalized Secrecy
_ final credit assignment ritual
-_ "Lenore" psychiatric disaster (not in pt.s 1–3, but I want this drafted before I hit Ben and Jessica)
+
+_ phenotypic capture and memetic identity (insert into pt. 1)
+
+pre-edit phase—
+_ security code drama?? ("Although, speaking of documenting" 2 March)
+_ integrate 5150 scene scraps into a coherent section
+
+near editing tier—
+_ so embarrassed after the Singularity
+_ "Patient's Rights" or "Patients' Rights"?
+_ mention my "trembling hand" history with secrets, not just that I don't like it
+_ NRx explanation should include the "there's only what won" line
+_ It's not clear anyone he usually respects was making this mistake; it seems likely that the original thread was subtweeting Eric Weinstein, who was not making this mistake
+_ mention flying to Pittsburgh had been brought up
+_ Noether's theorem allusion re "... Boundaries?"
+
+
+people to consult specifically before pt. 1–3:
+_ hostile prereader? (first-choice: April)
+_ professional editor?
+
+Needed for pt. 1—
+- "Thomas" [pt. 1-2]
+_ Tail (AGP discussion) [pt. 1]
+_ Sarah (name mention, whether to name conversation) [pt. 1-3]
+_ Sophia [pt. 1-2]
+_ Anna [blanket]
+
+Needed for pt. 2–3—
+_ Scott [blanket]
+_ Ben/Jessica (Michael) [pt. 2-]
+_ Divia? (ask if she wants to be mentioned?) [blanket]
+_ "Bill" [pt. 3-]
+_ "Roberta"? [pt. 2]
+_ Alicorn: briefly, and for Melkor Glowfic reference link [pt. 2-3]
+_ "Noreen" [pt. 2]
+_ Lex [pt. 2]
+_ "Rebecca" (consent, pseudonym choice) [pt. 2, not before 15 June]
+
+
+--------------
+
+from the top editing session— bookmark phrase "The thing about being psychiatrically"
----------------
+_ "Lenore" psychiatric disaster
- Eliezerfic fight conclusion
_ Michael Vassar and the Theory of Optimal Gossip
_ plan to reach out to Rick
-_ psych ward
-
- regrets, wasted time, conclusion
_ reaction to Ziz
_ lead-in to Sept. 2021 Twitter altercation
_ Dolphin War finish
-bigger blocks—
-_ remaining Feb./Apr. 2017 recent madness
-
-
------
With internet available—
-_ sluggish schizophrenia
-_ "mononymic aura" link to Yudkowsky on "aura of destiny"?
+_ define ersatz
+_ link to my Facebook post for Coming Out Day
+_ "All You Zombies"
+_ links to PA hospitals
+_ link to my Facebook posts on Azkaban, prematuring conceding the bet, and correcting the bet record
+_ what did the comments on my Pittsburg/Azkaban post say?
+_ check that the Feb. Blanchard Tweet is the one with the screenshot-quote
+_ link to Kevin Hsu and James Cantor
+_ Is http://www.overcomingbias.com/2011/01/be-a-charity-angel.html the best link for after-the-fact prize funding?
+_ P(doom)
+_ Michael on OB in 'aught-eight on smart kids internalizing rules meant for the norm of reaction of a dumber population
+_ Tweet from Dreger
_ when were Meeker Four out on bail? how long would they otherwise be held?
-_ link to Christ's resurrection
-_ genre-savvy TVTrope
_ Slate Star "view from halfway" Holocaust guard comparison
-_ "racialist"
_ link to shock therapy
_ "Gypsy Bard" link
_ outpatient psychiatry Kaiser notes
_ "PDD NOS"
_ etymology of "Arcadia"
_ double-check EnyeWord in archive.is?
-_ my last interaction with Logan Strohl (when she blocked me for criticizing her trans thing)
_ Eliezerfic fight: where did the super-AIDS example fit in cronologically?
_ Keltham/Peranza exam answer should link specific tags
_ Susan Fenimore Cooper
_ Yudkowsky's LW moderation policy
far editing tier—
+_ mention "Beatrice" earlier!!
+_ mention "special simulator attention" in cxn with https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_reference_and_delusions_of_reference
+_ make sure I mention father asking me to wait before re-starting HRT
_ "People": say something about the awkward racial/political dynamics of three of my four anecdotes being about black people? Salient because rare? Salient because of my NRx-pilling?
_ Christmas with Scott: mention the destruction of "voluntary"?
_ Christmas with Scott: mention the grid of points?
_ not talking about pivotal acts, downstream of not believing in Speech?
_ Alyssa lying about me [pt. 4]
_ Brian Skyrms??
-_ psych ward [pt. 2]
_ emailing Blanchard/Bailey/Hsu/Lawrence [pt. 2]
_ HRT (non-)effects, and quitting [pt. 2]
_ mr-hire and pre-emptive steelmanning (before meeting LW mods)
_ need to mention Brent's pariah status
_ be clearer about dates in "Wilhelm" conversations??
_ "people with fragile identities" dialogue doesn't fit the flow, probably cut or move
-_ "maximize the number of trans ppl" conversation should briefly sample the guy's bogus conjunction of arguments
_ is the Glowfic author "Lintamande ... they" or "Lintamande ... she"?
_ explain plot of _Planecrash_ better
_ CfAR's AI pivot??
_ explain MOPs better
_ also had back-and-forth with "Noreen" on 8 Feb in Rob's thread!!
_ Motta-Mena and Puts probability-of-gynephilia-by-intersex-condition graph, re trans kids on the margin
-_ what exactly goes in the December 2019 blogging spree §?
_ "Noreen" discussion needs to cover the part where I'd cause less disruption if I transitioned
_ "Noreen"'s girlfriend definitely needs to be mentioned
_ get exact dates and correct Sequencing on late 2016 conversations
_ Yudkowsky's "Is someone trolling?" comment as counterevidence to narcissim
_ "typographical attack surface" isn't clear
_ voting reputation section is weak, needs revision
-_ edit "still published under a pseudonym" remark in "A Hill"
_ incoprorate "downvote Eliezer in their head" remark from Jessica's memoir
_ explain the "if the world were at stake" Sword of Good reference better
_ D. also acknowledged AGP
_ re-read a DALL-E explanation and decide if I think it's less scary now
_ Scott Aaronson on the blockchain of science https://scottaaronson.blog/?p=6821
_ footnote previous race-IQ baiting on "why do I keep bringing this up"
-_ mention my "trembling hand" history with secrets, not just that I don't like it
_ https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/yaCwW8nPQeJknbCgf/free-speech-and-triskaidekaphobic-calculators-a-reply-to as part of December 2019 blogging streak
-_ It's not clear anyone he usually respects was making this mistake; it seems likely that the original thread was subtweeting Eric Weinstein, who was not making this mistake
_ "I Wish You Well" as breakup song
_ the function of privacy norms is to protect you from people who want to selectively reveal information to hurt you, so it makes sense that I'm particularly careful about Yudkowsky's privacy and not Scott's, because I totally am trying to hurt Yudkowsky (this also protects me from the charge that by granting more privacy to Yudkowsky than Scott, I'm implying that Yudkowsky said something more incriminating; the difference in treatment is about _me_ and my expectations, rather than what they may or may not have said when I tried emailing them); I want it to be clear that I'm attacking him but not betraying him
_ acknowledge that
_ tie off Anna's plot arc?
_ explain earlier that my practice of "throw money at things" also applied to my friendship with Anna
_ mention my robot cult history (I've been here since the late 'aughts)
-_ ask Anna what she meant by "soldiers in an ambulance"; I was going to write up an explanation for Ben, but I don't seem to remember
_ quote one more "Hill of Meaning" Tweet emphasizing fact/policy distinction
_ conversation with Ben about physical injuries (this is important because it explains where the "cut my dick off rhetoric" came from)
_ context of his claim to not be taking a stand
-_ clarify "Merlin didn't like Vassar" example about Mike's name
_ being friends with Anna desipite being political enemies (~May 2019)
_ rephrase "gamete size" discussion to make it clearer that Yudkowsky's proposal also implicitly requires people to be agree about the clustering thing
_ smoother transition between "deliberately ambiguous" and "was playing dumb"; I'm not being paranoid for attributing political motives to him, because he told us that he's doing it
_ eliezera
+
+
people to consult before publishing, for feedback or right of objection—
-_ Tail (pt. 2 AGP discussion)
_ Iceman
-_ Ben/Jessica (Michael)
-_ "Wilhelm" (not leaking info about his identity, and damage to him if info was leaked)
_ Scott
-_ Anna
-_ "Noreen"
-_ secret posse member
-_ "Chaya" (pseudonym choice)
-_ Alicorn: about privacy, and for Melkor Glowfic reference link
_ hostile prereader (April—if not, J. Beshir, Swimmer, someone else from Alicorner #drama)
_ Kelsey
_ NRx Twitter bro
_ afford various medical procedures
_ Buck? (get the story about Michael being escorted from events)
_ A/a alumna??
-_ Sarah (name mention, whether to name conversation)
_ Ray
_ Ruby
_ Kay Brown?? (assuming I include the delusional emails to her)
(Terrorism wouldn't work)
-Sep 27 text to "Chaya"—
+Sep 27 text to "Rebecca"—
In theory, the bad influence could go both ways: first, successful playdate, then I mention to A. afterwards (not before) that C. is actually a boy and I think it's crazy everyone is pretending otherwise (which remark is out of their censorship jurisdiction); then if C. wants a repeat with new friend (far from guaranteed, but plausible), it's not your fault if A. leaks information of her own will ...
https://twitter.com/ESYudkowsky/status/1634338145016909824 re "malinformation"
> If we don't have the concept of an attack performed by selectively reporting true information—or, less pleasantly, an attack on the predictable misinferences of people we think less rational than ourselves—the only socially acceptable counter is to say the info is false.
-Blanchard Tweets my blog in Feb and March 2017
-https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD/status/830580552562524160
-https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD/status/837846616937750528
-
-
I said that I couldn't help but be reminded of a really great short story that I remembered reading back in—it must have been 'aught-nine. I thought it was called "Darkness and Light", or something like that. It was about a guy who gets transported to a fantasy world where he has a magic axe that yells at him sometimes, and he's prophecied to defeat the bad guy, and he and his allies have to defeat these ogres to reach the bad guy's lair. And when they get there, the bad guy _accuses them of murder_ for killing the ogres on the way there.
(The story was actually Yudkowsky's ["The Sword of Good"](https://www.yudkowsky.net/other/fiction/the-sword-of-good), but I was still enjoying the "Robin Hanson's blog" æsthetic.)
> The long version: [https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/](https://sillyolme.wordpress.com/)
(180 comments)
-the other week, "Chaya" had put up a matchmaking thread on her Facebook wall, hoping to connect friends of hers looking for new romantic partners, and also reminding people about _reciprocity.io_, a site someone in the community had set up to match people to date or hang out with. Brent Dill had commented that _reciprocity.io_ had been useless, and I said (on 7 February) that the hang-out matching had been valuable to me, even if the romantic matching was useless for insufficiently high-status males.
+the other week, "Rebecca" had put up a matchmaking thread on her Facebook wall, hoping to connect friends of hers looking for new romantic partners, and also reminding people about _reciprocity.io_, a site someone in the community had set up to match people to date or hang out with. Brent Dill had commented that _reciprocity.io_ had been useless, and I said (on 7 February) that the hang-out matching had been valuable to me, even if the romantic matching was useless for insufficiently high-status males.
matchmaking thread (thread was 4 February, relevant comments were 7 February): https://www.facebook.com/Katie.Cohen821/posts/pfbid02PNKKSCBTC99ULzPsueKvZkYmpNvELrkEfGymcrAfWZPu39LRCyh2bE4a9Ht3yg3Dl
JANICE LYNN ALLEY PSYD at 2/21/2017 10:25 AM, ADULT IOP THERAPIST INTAKE EVALUATION
-> Of note, ptt had also reportedly made statements at his workplace that he was suicidal the previous day.
\ No newline at end of file
+> Of note, ptt had also reportedly made statements at his workplace that he was suicidal the previous day.
+
+-----
+
+re: recent mental health stuff 11/10/17, 6:28 PM
+> As far as I can tell, you all acted in an exemplary fashion. Pressuring your friends to get enough sleep actually makes sense, decision-theoretically ("everyone should get sleep almost every day" is a pretty important schelling fence! It's much easier to coordinate with agents who are on a similar sleep cycle to you!). If I try to hold it against any of you in the future, please refer to this email.
+
+Seems significant in light of Jack blaming me for sleep nagging with "Lenore"
+
+My crazy verbosity: "when I asked 'what were the ways he thought' I could help" → "when I asked 'how' I could help" (cut 5 words)
+"they 'don't know how to interpret observations of' someone not buying it" → "they're 'incapable of seeing' someone not buying it (cut 4 words)
+
+"Circling" meta-trainwreck was weeks before appealing to Said to critique Jessica's thing; in retrospect, that was probably causal (even if I wasn't thinking at the time, "I wouldn't be emailing Said if it weren't for that trainwreck thread)
+
+Another Said bafflement example: https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/8xLtE3BwgegJ7WBbf/is-rationalist-self-improvement-real#comment-rm4NW4weWd7cSnTBX (from https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/pC74aJyCRgns6atzu/meta-discussion-from-circling-as-cousin-to-rationality/comment/C5qMvFvX8jQ2vjnve)
+
+> Dear Suzanne Martin & Albert Lee—please learn auction theory; it will help you actually be an effective altruist, which is something your currently not trying to do, but which you'll realize was important later. I have the honor to be, your obedient servant,
+> Zack M. Davis
+
+(I had promised my father to wait a month after my psych ward ordeal to re-start HRT, but I [would restart](/2017/Mar/hormones-reboot-spironotacular/).)
+
+ * Alice said something about how every once in a while, someone runs off with the payments database
+
+To the extent that I was seeing things that weren't there, it was a matter of misinterpreting actual sensory inputs rather than having de novo hallucinations.
+
+What I thought was a dog turd inside the kitchen actually turned out to be a cork.
+
+When I was borrowing someone's computer, I thought I saw an icon peek out from the side of the screen, as if a possibly-malevolent agent were spying on me—a disturbing visual hallucination. Later that year, when trying out the stock Ubuntu Unity desktop on my new computer, I discovered that the app-notification animation actually does feature an app icon "sliding out" and shaking, like I remembered seeing—I wasn't imagining it!
+
+I remember seeing text on my phone and being distinctly convinced that it was misspelled. Five years later, looking at the distorted lettering output by text-to-image models that can't spell seemed subjectively similar. (Good news for alignment, if it looks like deep learning and sleep-deprived human brains are doing "the same thing"?)
+
+[TODO: correspondence with sex researchers
+
+ * Blanchard Tweets my blog in Feb and March 2017: (11 Feb), https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD/status/837846616937750528 (3 Mar)
+ *
+
+> It gets worse! I think this absurd situation is illustrative of a flaw in democracy itself: activists who want to change society are both incentivized and self-selected for self-delusion. Whichever activists happen to win get to write the history books, and so most people end up with this Whig history view of the world where people in the past were bad, bad men, but we're so much more progressive and enlightened now. But evolutionarily speaking, there's no fact of the matter as to what's better; there's only what won.
+
+ * I mean, you're already doing this with your work, obviously, but I want to know if there's any way I can help?
+
+> If polarizing cultural forces force you to make a choice between joining the "Your gender is whatever you say it is! Maximize the number of trans people!" coalition, or the "Transitioning is against God's will! Minimize the number of trans people!" coalition, the only sane thing to do is ignore the noise and sit out the fight.
+
+> Maybe there's a role for some kind of very narrowly scoped political behavior (making friends and allies, trading favors, alienating people, &c.), with the goal of just getting the correct theory (sexual dimorphism is real, societies have gender roles, there are these two distinct classes of motivation for why transitioning might seem like a good idea to someone) in the standard sex-ed textbooks, but not trying to dictate what the social norms
+
+ * Bailey was tentatively working on a website ("Resources for Families with Gender Dysphoria" (RFGD.org).) (not sure what happened with that)
+
+activists who want to change society are both incentivized and self-selected for self-delusion. Whichever activists happen to win get to write the history books, and so most people end up with this Whig history view of the world where people in the past were bad, bad men, but we're so much more progressive and enlightened now. But evolutionarily speaking, there's no fact of the matter as to what's better; there's only what won.
+
+(link to Moldbug on 20 year fashion flowing from academia)
+> I do not think a sane society could deal with 3% of males transitioning [...] I can't quite visualize what such a world would look like
+me—
+> It looks like my social circle. (This is why I'm worried about suboptimal social norms getting locked in for the wrong reasons—what's fashionable in Berkeley in year X is likely to be mainstream in year X+20.)
+
+
+
+[something perfectly innocent about math and dolphins](https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/esRZaPXSHgWzyB2NL/where-to-draw-the-boundaries) that wouldn't have seemed remotely controversial in 2009, and therefore, by [Noether's theorem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noether%27s_theorem#Time_invariance), can't be remotely controversial in 2019
+
+as long as energy is conserved.
+
+I conflated "feminist" with the kind of woman I want
+
+https://status451.com/2017/11/05/i-see-trad-people/
+my moral compass puts me to the right of the politically vocal tech nerds, especially the more androgynous type of tech nerd
+
+(There had been a moment during my psych imprisonment the other month, when I had noticeable diffculty dialing a phone. I was still a _person_, even when not all of my usual cognitive abilities were online.)
+
+The fact that I ghosted on music lessons from "Tricky" for being nonbinary, is an example of phenotypic capture ruining everything
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / blobdiff