([Amanda Marcotte](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanda_Marcotte) once described one of my comments as "cute"! It ... was not a compliment.)
-_Feminist Interpretations of Ayn Rand_
-
, like drugs and sex, it wasn't salient to me as something that actually happens in real life, rather than on television
(Where "girls" are the ones with a vagina, breasts, _&c._)
[TODO: sentence about how "gender identity" was offensive to me, link to "A Beacon"]
-
https://web.archive.org/web/20200118114912/https://yudkowsky.net/obsolete/bookshelf.html
-I remember being in the Crown College reading room at the University in Santa Cruz in 2007, reading Robert Wright's _The Moral Animal_ (because it had been on [Yudkowsky's old book list](https://web.archive.org/web/20200118114912/https://yudkowsky.net/obsolete/bookshelf.html)), and being _aghast_ at how openly, brazenly sexist it was. That overwhelming feeling of cold horror and hatred at the enemy revealed—that, I conjecture, is what religious people feel
+heresy
+learned things in the wrong order
+Anyway, I kind of spent the next ten years reading everything I could about sex and gender and transgender and feminism and evopsych and doing various things with my social presentation—sometimes things I regretted and reverted after a lot of pain—to try to seem not-masculine, all the while assuming that my gender problems were clearly not the same thing as the gender problems of actual trans women, because the standard narrative is that that's about gender identity being discordant from sex assigned at birth, which was clearly not what my thing was. I thought, essentially, "Gee, it's too bad this beautiful word which so perfectly describes the beautiful feeling at the center of my life happened to be coined in the context of this controversial theory about the etiology of MtF transsexualism which is probably false because everyone says it's obviously false."
+inference by analogy—even if not all trans women are exactly like me, at least a lot of them are going to be similar
-heresy
+-----
-learned things in the wrong order
+_(content warning sexism)_
+_(content warning transphobia)_
+_(content warning too much information about weird fetishes)_
+_(content warning WTF did I just read)_
-Anyway, I kind of spent the next ten years reading everything I could about sex and gender and transgender and feminism and evopsych and doing various things with my social presentation—sometimes things I regretted and reverted after a lot of pain—to try to seem not-masculine, all the while assuming that my gender problems were clearly not the same thing as the gender problems of actual trans women, because the standard narrative is that that's about gender identity being discordant from sex assigned at birth, which was clearly not what my thing was. I thought, essentially, "Gee, it's too bad this beautiful word which so perfectly describes the beautiful feeling at the center of my life happened to be coined in the context of this controversial theory about the etiology of MtF transsexualism which is probably false because everyone says it's obviously false."
+(October 2020, [TODO] words)
+
+
+-----
+
+Hi SneerClub! I noticed that you've enjoyed some of my [previous](https://www.reddit.com/r/SneerClub/comments/fw9cng/the_lgbt_activist_machinery_instead_adapted/) [work](https://www.reddit.com/r/SneerClub/comments/61t94y/rationalist_tries_justifying_their_transphobia_by/), so I thought I would go ahead and proactively share this one with you, because (I'm guessing) it probably checks a lot of the boxes for top sneerable content: it's got Yudkowsky hero-worship, _and_ sexism (as many of you would define that), _and_ transphobia (as many of you would define that), _and_ weird sex stuff!
+
+(From _my_ perspective, I'm pouring my heart out about the most important thing in my life, but if someone else with a different perspective would only sneer, then I can only hope to have been—if only for a moment, as part of a subroutine in the optimal sneer computation—_understood_. And for that moment, I am grateful.)
+
+
+Sometimes I sigh because I'll never get rich
+And there's no magic so I can't be a witch
+And that I must enjoy the scorn of the world
+Just 'cause I'm butch and I'm a tranny girl
+
+------
+[TODO: work out description of what the fantasy is: mirror neurons, not already female, &c.; Star Trek transporter scenario]
-Hi SneerClub! I noticed that you've enjoyed some of my previous work, so I thought I would go ahead and proactively share this one with you, because (I'm guessing) it must check almost all the boxes for top sneer-worthy content: it's got Yudkowsky hero-worship, _and_ sexism (as you would define that), _and_ transphobia (as you would define that), _and_ weird sex stuff! (From _my_ perspective, I'm pouring my heart out about the most important thing in my life, but if someone else with a different perspective merely gets a laugh out of it, I can only hope to have been—if only for a moment, between sneers—_understood_.)
+Anne Lawrence described autogynephiles as ["men who love women and want to become what they love."](/papers/lawrence-becoming_what_we_love.pdf) But it's worse than that. We're men who love what we _wish_ women were, and want to become _that_.
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / blobdiff