Title: Interlude XIV
-Date: 2020-01-01
+Date: 2018-10-24 05:00
Category: other
Tags: cathartic, interlude, stickers
-Status: draft
"But surely a man such as yourself—"
-"I'm _nonbinary_," interjected the other, holding up a name badge bearing a _THEY/THEM/THEIRS_ sticker.
+"I'm _nonbinary_," interjected the other, holding up a name badge bearing a _they/them/theirs_ sticker.
-"Right, sorry," said Mark. "Surely a nonbinary man such as yourself—"
\ No newline at end of file
+"Right, sorry," said Mark. "Surely a nonbinary man such as yourself—"
+<br/><br/><br/>
Title: Interlude XV
-Date: 2020-01-01
+Date: 2018-10-29 05:00
Category: other
Tags: cathartic, interlude
-Status: draft
"Can you believe people are calling my blog transphobic?! _Me!_ That's like calling Christina Hoff Sommers an anti-feminist!"
Date: 2018-10-26 05:00
Category: other
Tags: not-a-transition, lasers
-Status: draft
<a href="/images/laser_9.jpg"><img src="/images/laser_9.jpg" width="180" style="float: left; margin: 0.8pc;"></a>
-I had my ninth laser session the other week (out of the ten-session package that I prepaid for), almost a year after [my first](/2017/Nov/laser-1/). (They schedule them out four to six weeks, and I rescheduled a couple of them.) I'm ... pretty underwhelmed by the results so far? My facial hair is nontrivially _thinner_ than it was before (and maybe slightly blonder [by attrition](https://www.urbana.ie/blog/can-laser-hair-removal-work-light-hair/))—it's hard to be sure of the magnitude because apparently I'm still the kind of _idiot_ who doesn't bother to take detailed "Before" photos _even after [explicitly noting this](/2017/Nov/laser-1/#anchor-before)_—but there's still a lot of it noticeably _there_. "Marking my face as male", I want to put it, but maybe that would be a misleading phrasing, because it's not as if people don't reliably and involuntarily infer my sex from my facial structure even at my cleanest-shaven. (And things are only going to get worse—despite my beautiful ponytail in the back, Trent says my hairline in the front is already a [Norwood 3](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton%E2%80%93Norwood_scale), and it takes all of my strength as an aspiring rationalist just to believe him.)
+I had my ninth laser session the other week (out of the ten-session package that I prepaid for), almost a year after [my first](/2017/Nov/laser-1/). (They schedule them out four to six weeks, and I rescheduled a couple of them.) I'm ... pretty underwhelmed by the results so far? My facial hair is nontrivially _thinner_ than it was before (and maybe slightly blonder [by attrition](https://www.urbana.ie/blog/can-laser-hair-removal-work-light-hair/))—it's hard to be sure of the magnitude because apparently I'm still the kind of _idiot_ who doesn't bother to take detailed "Before" photos _even after [explicitly noting this](/2017/Nov/laser-1/#anchor-before)_—but there's still a lot of it noticeably _there_. "Marking my face as male", I want to put it, but maybe that would be a misleading phrasing, because it's not as if people don't reliably, involuntarily infer my sex from my facial structure even at my cleanest-shaven. (And I should remember that things are only going to get worse—despite my beautiful-beautiful ponytail in the back, Trent says my hairline in the front is already a [Norwood 3](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamilton%E2%80%93Norwood_scale), and it takes all of my strength as an aspiring rationalist just to believe him.)
-I'm not sure how typical my results are and why—the [marketing literature](https://www.laseraway.com/articles/hair-removal/effective-laser-hair-removal-really/) from the clinic/parlor/salon promises permanent reduction by "up to 90 percent after 6–8 treatments", but _up to_ isn't exactly a probability distribution. Maybe I just have resilient hair; maybe I'm grimacing or grunting too much during the treatment, priming the merciful nurse–technician to hold back on the zapping more than she's supposed to; who knows?
+I'm not sure how typical my results are and why—the [marketing literature](https://www.laseraway.com/articles/hair-removal/effective-laser-hair-removal-really/) from the clinic/parlor/salon promises permanent reduction by "up to 90 percent after 6–8 treatments", but _up to_ isn't exactly a probability distribution. Maybe I just have resilient hair; maybe I'm grimacing or grunting too much during the treatment, priming the merciful nurse–technician to hold back on the zapping more than she (invariably _she_) is supposed to; who knows?
--- /dev/null
+Title: Sticker Prices
+Date: 2018-10-22 05:00
+Category: other
+Tags: anecdotal, software industry, stickers
+
+_(A anecdote of no consequence)_
+
+This year at a conference for this open-source scene I've been really into lately, there were pronoun stickers in everyone's conference swag bags ("[...] so we can all help each other get things right. Wear them in solidarity with others too. Help us make [the conference] welcoming and inclusive for all"), including _they/them/theirs_, _ze/zir/zirs_ (!), and blanks (!!). Leaving aside [impersonal philosophical objections](/2018/Feb/the-categories-were-made-for-man-to-make-predictions/#anchor-pronoun-sticker-discourse) for a moment, I want you to consider [the mild stress this kind of thing can inflict](https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/172800552516/so-i-havent-posted-about-this-since-college) on people who have [_some_ form](https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/05/using-gender-neutral-pronouns-could-actually-misgender-people.html) of gender-related problems but who have [chosen](/2017/Dec/lesser-known-demand-curves/) some form of [mitigation](/2017/Jan/the-line-in-the-sand-or-my-slippery-slope-anchoring-action-plan/) other than transitioning.
+
+<a href="/images/blerp-d9aa89fd_pronoun_stickers.jpg"><img src="/images/blerp-d9aa89fd_pronoun_stickers.jpg" width="300" style="float: right; margin: 0.8pc;"></a>
+
+Which sticker am _I_ supposed to put on if I am to show solidarity? The _he/him/his_ sticker would be the obvious, straightforward choice. After all, that is, in fact, the third-person pronoun people use for me. But in a context where I'm being offered a _choice_, I _don't want_ to choose the male option, because that makes it look like I "identify" with my maleness—as if I were _cis_ in the strong sense of having a "gender identity" matching my "assigned" sex, rather than in the [weaker sense](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/cis-by-default/) of being a reactionary coward whose pathological need for a backwards-compatible social identity is preventing her from becoming her best self.
+
+At the same time, I can't wear the _she/her/hers_ sticker. And I think there's a sense in which _can't_ really is a better choice of words than _don't want to_. It's not that I don't enjoy being refered to as _she_ in a context where that makes sense, like when I'm [crossplaying at a fandom convention](/tag/cosplay/), or in the Secret Blanchardian Conspiracy Chatroom, or in the ironic last sentence of the preceding paragraph. It's that, in real life, when I'm not playing dress-up and I can't hide my face behind the fog of net, _people are going to notice_ that I'm male and habitually use the English language pronoun for males on such occasions that they need to refer to me in the third person. I _could_ attach a sticker to my badge instructing them otherwise, but only in the same sense that I could tell them that black is white and cats are dogs—that is, probably not with a straight face.
+
+But none of this really matters: if you don't want to wear a sticker, you can just not wear one, with no discernible social consequences. (At least, not this year!)
+
+I did get asked for my pronouns once, the first day, by someone who I think was not yet aware of the stickers—the only time I've been asked for pronouns when I wasn't at an explicitly social-justice-oriented event (like at the local [genderqueer support group](/2017/Jan/title-sequence/), or "Introduction to Feminisms" class at the University in Santa Cruz eleven years ago) or literally wearing a dress (in the cosplay repair lounge at Comic-Con).
+
+I had sat at this person's table to listen to them eloquently denounce at length the many ways in which some code they encountered was horribly overcomplicated—which made sense, they explained, because the 40-year-old men who wrote those libraries were all Trump supporters and Nazis and libertarians.
+
+("Oh, that's interesting!", I said, "Do you suppose there's that large of a correlation between political ideology and code quality? With a sufficiently smart linter to operationalize quality, this could be amenable to empirical study ...")
+
+The question came as we introduced ourselves mid-conversation. After I gave my name (as "Mark"), the person said, "What are your pronouns?"
+
+I think I handled it reasonably well?—hemming and stalling for a few seconds before eventually giving _he_, with a disclaimer that the reason I hesitated was because I don't want to imply that I _identify_ with masculinity—it's complicated. The questioner, sensing my discomfort, made an effort to placate or reassure me: "Sure," the person said, nodding, "That's just what you're using right now; that's cool."
+
+The question was a compliment, really. I don't think they would have asked if I had had a beard. There's _no chance_ of anyone mistaking me for a woman—but maybe the conjunction of my beautiful-beautiful ponytail and my manner and my [slight gynecomastia](/2017/Sep/hormones-day-156-developments-doubts-and-pulling-the-plug-or-putting-the-cis-in-decision/) is enough for me to be mistaken for the kind of man ([in the sense of](/2018/Apr/reply-to-the-unit-of-caring-on-adult-human-females/) adult human male) who thinks he can demand that other people perceive him as a woman or nonbinary person. (I think I'm at least as credibly androgynous as a couple of the guys I saw wearing the _they/them/theirs_ stickers.)
+
+How strange it is—to be _seen_ and _unseen_ at the same time. Seen, because nice smart progressive people know to look for cues of gender variance and accord that with deference and latitude, such that I parse (correctly!) as someone who plausibly has some kind of gender problems, rather than "man who happens to have long hair for whatever stupid but uninteresting reason."
+
+And unseen, because nice smart progressive people don't bother allocating much prior probability to the hypothesis that people who look and talk like them might think that sometimes the Trump supporters and Nazis and libertarians [have a goddamned point](/2017/Mar/smart/).
+++ /dev/null
-Title: Sticker Prices
-Date: 2020-01-01
-Category: commentary
-Tags: discourse, software industry, anecdotal
-Status: draft
-
-_(A anecdote of no consequence)_
-
-This year at a conference for this open-source scene I've been really into lately, there were pronoun stickers in everyone's conference swag bags ("[...] so we can all help each other get things right. Wear them in solidarity with others too. Help us make [the conference] welcoming and inclusive for all"), including _they/them/theirs_, _ze/zir/zirs_ (!), and blanks (!!). Leaving aside [philosophical objections](/2018/Feb/the-categories-were-made-for-man-to-make-predictions/#anchor-pronoun-sticker-discourse) for a moment, I want you to consider [the mild stress this kind of thing can inflict](https://theunitofcaring.tumblr.com/post/172800552516/so-i-havent-posted-about-this-since-college) on people who have [_some_ form](https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/05/using-gender-neutral-pronouns-could-actually-misgender-people.html) of gender-related problems but who have [chosen](/2017/Dec/lesser-known-demand-curves/) some form of [mitigation](/2017/Jan/the-line-in-the-sand-or-my-slippery-slope-anchoring-action-plan/) other than transitioning.
-
-<a href="/images/blerp-d9aa89fd_pronoun_stickers.jpg"><img src="/images/blerp-d9aa89fd_pronoun_stickers.jpg" width="300" style="float: right; margin: 0.8pc;"></a>
-
-Which sticker am I supposed to put on if I am to show solidarity? The _he/him/his_ sticker would be the obvious, straightforward choice. After all, that is, in fact, the third-person pronoun people use for me. But in a context where I'm being offered a _choice_, I _don't want_ to choose the male option, because that makes it look like I "identify" with my maleness—as if I were _cis_ in the strong sense of having a "gender identity" matching my "assigned" sex, rather than in the [weaker sense](https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/cis-by-default/) of being a reactionary coward whose pathological need for a backwards-compatible social identity is preventing her from becoming her best self.
-
-At the same time, I can't wear the _she/her/hers_ sticker. And I think there's a sense in which _can't_ really is a better choice of words than _don't want to_. It's not that I don't enjoy being refered to as _she_ in a context where that makes sense, like when I'm [crossplaying at a fandom convention](/tag/cosplay/), or in the Secret Blanchardian Conspiracy Chatroom, or in the ironic last sentence of the preceding paragraph. It's that, in real life, when I'm not playing dress-up and I can't hide my face behind the fog of net, _people are going to notice_ that I'm male and habitually use the English language pronoun for males on such occasions that they need to refer to me in the third person. I _could_ attach a sticker to my badge instructing them otherwise, but only in the same sense that I could tell them that black is white and cats are dogs—that is, probably not with a straight face.
-
-But none of this really matters: if you don't want to wear a sticker, you can just not wear one, with no discernible social consequences. (At least, not this year!)
-
-I did get asked for my pronouns once, the first day, by someone who I think was not yet aware of the stickers—the only time I've been asked for pronouns when I wasn't at an explicitly social-justice-oriented event (like at the local [genderqueer support group](/2017/Jan/title-sequence/), or "Introduction to Feminisms" class at the University in Santa Cruz ten years ago) or literally wearing a dress (in the cosplay repair lounge at Comic-Con).
-
-This was after I got in a conversation after I sat at this person's table to listen to them eloquently denounce at length the many ways in which some code they encountered was horribly overcomplicated—which made sense, they explained, because the 40-year-old men who wrote those libraries were all Trump supporters and Nazis and libertarians.
-
-("Oh, that's interesting!", I said, "Do you suppose there's that large of a correlation between political ideology and code quality? With a sufficiently smart linter to operationalize quality, this could be amenable to empirical study ...")
-
-The question came as we introduced ourselves mid-conversation. After I gave my name (as "Mark"), they said, "What are your pronouns?"
-
-I think I handled it reasonably well?—hemming and stalling for a few seconds before giving _he_, with a disclaimer that the reason I hesitated was because I don't want to imply that I _identify_ with masculinity—it's complicated. The questioner, sensing my discomfort, made an effort to placate or reassure me: "Sure," the person said, nodding, "That's just what you're using right now; that's cool."
-
-It was a compliment, really. I don't think they would have asked if I had had a beard. There's _no chance_
-
-
-✓ Interlude XIV (nonbinary man)
-✓ Interlude XV (Christina Hoff Sommers)
-_ Interlude XVI (egg promises)
+Oct 22 ✓ Sticker Prices
+Oct 24 ✓ Interlude XIV (nonbinary man)
+Oct 26 ✓ Laser 9
+Oct 29 ✓ Interlude XV (Christina Hoff Sommers)
-_ Laser 9
-_ Sticker Prices
+_ I Mean, Yes, I Agree That Man Should Allocate Some More Categories, But
+_ "But I'm Not Quite Sure What That Means": Costs of Nonbinary Gender as a Social Technology
+_ "I Will Fight [...]": LGBT Patriotism and the Moral Fine-Tuning Objection
_ Codes of Convergence (working title)
_ Norms of Reaction (working title)
_ The View From Nowhere
-_ I Mean, Yes, I Agree That Man Should Allocate Some More Categories, But
-_ "But I'm Not Quite Sure What That Means": Costs of Nonbinary Gender as a Social Technology
+
_ reply to Ozy on https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2017/08/03/rapid-onset-gender-dysphoria-is-bad-science/ (when marketing in Culture War thread, maybe hat tip https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/9cir3w/culture_war_roundup_for_the_week_of_september_03/e5c1h2c/ )
_ Friendship Practices of ...
_ Q An Infovist's Advisory; Or, Standing Athwart History ...
_ 5150
-_ Korrasami and the Moral Fine-Tuning Objection
+
+
+_ Interlude XVI (egg promises)
+✓ Interlude XVII (not all men)
Q As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb; Or, Charity, Objectivity, and ...
projects / Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git / commitdiff