1 Title: "I Tell Myself to Let the Story End"; Or, A Hill of Validity in Defense of Meaning
4 Tags: personal, my robot cult
7 > _And I tell myself to let the story end
8 > And my heart will rest in someone else's hand
9 > My 'why not me?' philosophy began
11 > Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you?
12 > I'll be alright, just not tonight
15 > —Sara Barellies, ["Gonna Get Over You"](https://genius.com/Sara-bareilles-gonna-get-over-you-lyrics)
17 I mostly haven't been doing so well for the past nine months or so. I mean, I've always been a high-neuroticism person, but this has been a below-average year even by my standards. I've been reluctant to write about it in too much detail for poorly-understood psychological reasons. Maybe it would feel too much like attacking my friends?
19 But this blog is not about _not_ attacking my friends. This blog is about the truth. For my own sanity, for my own emotional closure, I need to tell the story as best I can. If it's an incredibly boring and petty story about people getting _unreasonably angry_ about philosophy-of-language minutiæ, well, you've been warned. If the story makes me look bad in the reader's eyes (because you think I'm crazy for getting so unreasonably angry about philosophy-of-language minutiæ), then I shall be happy to look bad for an _accurate_ account of _what I actually am_—I should expect nothing less.
28 This is _basic shit_. As we say locally, this is _basic Sequences shit_.
32 Now, it's not obvious that I _shouldn't_ cut my dick off! A lot of people seem to be doing it nowadays, and a lot of them seem to be pretty happy with their decision! But in order to _decide_ whether it's a good idea, I need _accurate information_
34 , so that I can cut my dick off in the possible worlds where that's a good idea, and not cut my dick off in the possible worlds where that's not a good idea.
38 actively manufacture _fake rationality lessons_ that have been optimized to _confuse me into cutting my dick off_ independently of whether or not we live in a world