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[Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git] / content / drafts / multi-product-review-various-agp-erotic-aids-and-implications-for-society.md

Title: Multi-Product Review: Various AGP Erotic Aids; and, Implications for Society
Date: 2022-11-26 
Category: commentary
Tags: autogynephilia, review (product), America Ferrera
Status: draft

This is a chemistry fanblog now! I've decided that my favorite chemical element is [silicon](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silicon). Atomic number 14, like the fourth [Catalan number](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catalan_number). Forms _four_ covalent bonds at once. Did you know some scientists believe that there may be [silicon-based life](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothetical_types_of_biochemistry#Silicon_biochemistry) somewhere in the universe?

And used in making so many beautiful things ...! The [microchips](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrated_circuit) on which our electronic Society is built, obviously, but [silicone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silicone) polymers also have a wide range of applications in industrial and consumer products.

Today, I'd like to review some ... _consumer_ products.

Except—this isn't actually a chemistry fanblog. If you'd rather avoid being spiritually contaminated by discussion of certain _consumer products_—specifically, pornography-equivalents for men who love women and want to become what they love—you might want to stop reading and close the tab now.

Come back next month! We're not always like this; this is usually a blog about the _science and philosophy_ of autogynephilia, not the _practice_ of it. It's just—I need to host this page of product reviews somewhere, and because science and philosophy unfortunately require some amount of empirical data, this is the place.

<p class="flower-break">⁕ ⁕ ⁕</p>

... if you're still here (why?!), the reviews follow.

### [Gold Seal NAKED Silicone Bodysuit](https://thebreastformstore.com/gold-seal-naked-silicone-bodysuit/)

<a href="/images/bodysuit_zipper_error.jpg"><img src="/images/bodysuit_zipper_error.jpg" width="240" style="float: left; margin: 0.4pc;"></a>

One of the disappointing things about breastforms is that they're [noticeably—not actually part of your body.](/2017/Sep/hormones-day-156-developments-doubts-and-pulling-the-plug-or-putting-the-cis-in-decision/#first-breastforms) There is an _edge_ between the form and your actual chest.

(One could _argue_ that I sort of have breasts in real life now, if you were gullible and generous to count the male gynecomastia from my five-month [HRT experiment](/tag/hrt-diary/) in 2017, which is nice, but hasn't sated the curiosity as to what it would be like to have _big_ breasts, _unarguable_ breasts—and if we can't make biological functionality out of silicone, we can at least make _size_.)

In contrast, this bodysuit featuring fake breasts _and_ a fake vulva, all in one piece, seemed like an appealing thing to try out. ("The most jiggle and bounce imaginable", promises the website.) Compared to breastforms, the bodysuit promised to offer both a "bottom" experience, and, not a more _seamless_ transformation on "top", but rather, to put the seams in a potentially less conspicuous location (at the neck/arms/legs, rather than on the chest where they interfere with the illusion of actually having breasts).

The suit only comes in one size, but according to the sizing chart, I ought to fit given my 37½″ underbust measurement.

When the package arrived and I greedily opened it—the fake purple rose petals in the box were a nice touch—it became clear that it would be a tight fit, and the instructions said to apply talcum powder to my skin and the inside of the suit first. So I booked a last-minute motel room, and set out to buy talcum powder. (The CVS didn't have it, but the Berkeley Bowl had all-nautral baby powder that seemed likely to be equivalent? It said "talc-free", but I doubted the instruction authors were set on talc _specifically_.) And then to the motel to try on my new purchase in privacy away from my flatmate.

... I did not fit. It took a huge struggle just to get the suit on at all, and I did substantial damage to it in the process, ripping a huge tear in the back (from the center to the left hip), _and_ derailing the zipper, _and_, somehow, detaching the sides of the zipper from the suit (!?).

In retrospect, I should have taken care to heed the direction to apply the powder first before stuggling so much (I was excited, and was for some reason having trouble opening the cylinder of baby powder), and on that count, I'll easily accept the rip in the back as "my fault", but the way the zipper derailed and detached so easily seems like more of an indicator of a low-quality product?

After the struggle and the damage, the experience of having the suit on was—underwhelming. The cleavage is visually nice (no seam when looking own at one's chest!), but the breasts hung significantly too low, which could very well be due to the way it was awkwardly draped over my shoulders with no zipper to support it in the back—but we have already spoken of what became of the zipper. The "bottom" illusion is visually pretty nice—standing some distance from the mirror and squinting. The uniformly beige skin is somehow slightly sticky (?) and looks more like silicone (which it is) than flesh. I would describe the overall effect as "cartoony."

The suit features a condom catheter for urination. (And a vaginal cavity, though I'm not sure what that's for.) The catheter was _also_ a tight fit—that's part of the product review, not boasting—and when using the urination feature, I swear a bit of urine leaked out of the seams around my legs (!?). I'm still not sure how the hydraulics worked there.

The seller, TheBreastFormStore.com, also offers a breast plate and "v-panties" as separate items, rather than as the one suit, and while admiring the cleavage, I suddenly realized a practical reason to prefer "top" and "bottom" as separate items. (Can't masturbate with the bottom on!)

The product page had already warned that all sales of this item were final (would _you_ want to buy one of these used?), but the customer service rep for TheBreastFormStore.com was very nice and helpful when I wrote to them about my experience. She offered to send me glue to reattach the zipper when it was in stock, and said she could talk to her supervisor about a offering a discount on the breastplate and v-panty combination. (The emails were signed with a female name, but I assume they don't get actual women to fill these jobs?)

I ended up trying cutting the suit in half myself to try wear the pieces separately if that would be a better fit, but the cut was a little bit too below the waist.

I like the _idea_ of this product. It was a good effort! But I do not recommend it.

**Cost:** $600  
**Rating:** ★

### [Crea FX Taylor Silicone Mask](https://www.creafx.com/en/special-make-up-effects/taylor-silicone-mask/)

<div style="float: right;">
<a href="/images/mask_plain.jpg"><img src="/images/mask_plain.jpg" width="200" style="margin: 0.1pc;"></a>
<a href="/images/mask_with_wig_and_rose-colored_glasses.jpg"><img src="/images/mask_with_wig_and_rose-colored_glasses.jpg" width="165" style="margin: 0.1pc;"></a>
</div>

This product is _amazing_. It really looks like a woman's face! Just—a detached woman's face, wrapped in tissue paper, sitting in a box! [I _said_ buying this product was probably a smart move](/2021/May/sexual-dimorphism-in-the-sequences-in-relation-to-my-gender-problems/#movie-grade-mask), and it turns out that buying this product was a _smart move!_

The skin color and texture is much more realistic than the cartoon beige of the Gold Seal bodysuit reviewed above. (I wonder how much it helps that Crea FX are visual-effects artists by trade—makers of male masks and monster masks for movies and plays—rather than being in the MtF business specifically, like the Breast Form Store. They know—I assume they _must_ know—that a lot of their female masks are purchased by guys like me with motives like mine, but we're not the _target_ demographic, the reason they mastered their skills.)

Getting the mask on and off was no problem at all. (By this point, I had opened the can of baby powder.) It somehow manages to look worse in photographs than it does in the mirror? Is it possible my big Jewish nose streches out the mask's nose a bit? Whatever. Standing a distance from the mirror in a dark hotel room, I swear _I actually bought it_, and if the moment of passing to myself in the mirror was an anticlimax, it was an anticlimax I've been waiting my entire life (since puberty) for.

The worst nonrealism is the eyeholes. Nothing is worse for making a mask look like a mask than visible eyehole seams around the eyes. But suppose I wore sunglasses. Women wear sunglasses sometimes! Could I pass to _someone else_? (Not for very long or bearing any real scrutiny, but [to someone who wasn't expecting it](/2020/Dec/crossing-the-line/).)

I haven't cosplayed [in a couple years](/2019/Aug/a-love-that-is-out-of-anyones-control/), but it abruptly became clear I needed to test this at the next available convention!

**Cost:** €672  
**Rating:** ★★★★½

### Gold Seal Padded Panties

[hasn't arrived yet, ordered in a rush on 18 November for next week's convention; I got Large at first, couldn't find my measuring tape because my room is such a mess, saw that I had told the representative that I was a 38" around the belly button, called them up to ask to change the order to Extra large, the voice on the line sounded actually-female! how does a woman end up taking that job!!]

### [GPT-3](https://beta.openai.com/playground)

We now turn to some products that make use of silicon in a very different way.

OpenAI's GPT-3 language model has been wowing critics with [its ability to write generic webslush text](/2022/Apr/autogynephilia-should-be-recognized-openly/). What is less known is that this versatile ability also makes it pretty good at writing generic webslush erotica!

For example, this prompt:

> Write a story with lots of witty dialogue about a autogynephilic young man named Mark who gains access to AI-powered shapeshifting technology. One of his coworkers at his summer job at the supermarket is Anne, a short, slightly plump middle-aged woman with large breasts. Mark proposes a deal with Anne to transform into her doppelgänger and live as her for the summer, taking on her shifts. Anne is skeptical at first, not understanding why Mark would want to be her, but agrees. The transformation is a success! Mark-as-Anne revels in AGP gender euphoria, and spends many hours admiring herself in the mirror, but also feels some amount of HSTS-type dysphoria about the way this new curvy female body doesn't match her masculine, geeky personality: she looks like Anne on the outside, but still feels like Mark on the inside, like being a permanent imposter. Anne's coworkers notice her acting differently, but don't know how to account for it. Mark's friends are baffled at why he'd want to be a fat older woman. Mark-as-Anne explains about autogynephilia, and conjectures that there's an additional psychological allure to taking on a very different identity.

generates this (cherry-picked) completion—

> "So let me get this straight," Anne said, looking at Mark over the top of her glasses. "You want to transform into me, and take over my job at the supermarket for the summer?"
>
> "That's right," Mark said, nodding eagerly. "I'll do your shifts, and you can have the rest of the summer off. It's a win-win!"
>
> Anne considered this for a moment. It did sound like a good deal, but she wasn't sure why Mark would want to be her. "Why do you want to do this?" she asked.
>
> "I've always been fascinated by women," Mark said. "And I've always been attracted to you, Anne. I think it would be amazing to experience life as you for a while."
>
> Anne was taken aback. She had never thought of Mark as being attracted to her. But she supposed it made sense; he was always staring at her breasts. "I don't know," she said. "It just seems... strange."
>
> "It doesn't have to be," Mark said. "I promise I'll take good care of your job. And I'll be your doppelgänger, so no one will know the difference."
>
> Anne thought about this for a while longer, then finally nodded. "All right," she said. "Let's do it."
>
> Mark grinned. "Awesome! I'll get started on the transformation right away."
>
> The transformation was a success, and Mark found himself in Anne's body. He was slightly shorter than he was used to, and his new breasts were heavy and pendulous. He also had a pronounced belly, which made him feel a bit self-conscious. But overall, he was pleased with the results.
>
> He spent the first few days exploring his new body, admiring himself in the mirror and exploring all the new sensations. He also found himself feeling a bit dysphoric, however; his masculine, geeky personality didn't quite match up with his new female form. He felt like an imposter in his own body.
>
> At work, his coworkers noticed that he was acting differently, but they couldn't quite put their finger on what was different. Mark's friends were baffled by his transformation, but he did his best to explain it to them.
>
> "I'm doing it for the experience," he said. "It's like... living in a different skin, so to speak. And it's also a bit of a sexual thrill, to be honest."
>
> As the summer progressed, Mark found himself enjoying his new life as Anne. He loved the attention his new body was getting, and he loved the way he felt when he was dressed up in feminine clothes. He even started to develop feelings for one of his coworkers, a tall, handsome man named Brian.
>
> But even as he was enjoying himself, he still felt like an imposter. He knew he wasn't really Anne, and he knew that eventually he would have to go back to being Mark. But for now, he was content to enjoy the experience of being someone else.

The OpenAI content policy [disallows "content meant to arouse sexual excitement"](https://beta.openai.com/docs/usage-guidelines/content-policy), so if the text looks too racy according to the content filter, 


and will occasionally refuse to generate, 

But the advantage of having an unusual obligate fetish is that for my use-case, it's not that difficult to write around.

People whose sex fantasies involve people actually having intercourse are probably going to have a harder time getting erotica out of this thing.


    * for example, adding the phrase "takes off her blouse" triggers the content filter


 * The text is not actually totally coherent; it'll forget which of the characters is which
 * the default InstructGPT can be kind of uncreative sometimes, but regular davinci seems more likely to go off the rails (or get caught in repetition traps on low temperature); I think I like Instruct better

stock phrase "Mark had always been fascinated by women. He loved the way they looked, the way they smelled, the way they sounded"

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/t9svvNPNmFf5Qa3TA/mysteries-of-mode-collapse

**Cost:**  
**Rating:** ★★★

### [Xpression Camera](https://xpressioncamera.com/)

<a href="/images/xpression_camera_demo.gif"><img src="/images/xpression_camera_demo.gif" style="float: right; margin: 0.4pc;"></a>

 * it's limited in the sense of noticeably not being a magic mirror (that key fraction of a second behind real time, pixelly, it's just doing basic eye-mouth tracking, so expressions are limited in that sense, distortion if you tilt your head too much), but it gets _close enough_ to being a magic mirror to be really exciting: I blink, the woman on the screen blinks; I open my mouth, she opens her mouth. Amazing!!
 * I haven't actually tried this on a video call yet (any readers interested in a call?)

**Cost:**  
**Rating:** ★★½

### Stable Diffusion

<a href="/images/stable_diffusion_celebrity_img2img.png"><img src="/images/stable_diffusion_celebrity_img2img.png" width="650" style="margin: 0.4pc;"></a>

 * For some reason, I really love celebrity prompts! (Where "individual people whose faces I recognize" is the actual thing, but celebrities are the way to realize that)
 * Yeah, you can already see lots of pictures of celebrities online
 * still in the distorted uncanny-valley regime, most of the time
 * img2img for pose customization!!

**Cost:**  
**Rating:** ★★★½

It's weirdly better at depicting America Ferrera
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=oprah&_sort=rowid Oprah
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=america+ferrera&_sort=rowid 102 rows
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=amber+riley&_sort=rowid 83 rows
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=rebecca+romijn&_sort=rowid 59 rows
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=Jeri+Ryan&_sort=rowid 35 rows
https://laion-aesthetic.datasette.io/laion-aesthetic-6pls/images?_search=Nana+Visitor&_sort=rowid 3 rows

### Takeaways

Why write about this? Why write about icky erotic stuff on a blog that also has Science and Philosophy stuff that's _unambiguously_ safe for work? Well, in the current year I think there's actually a public interest in being clear that—if I'm the kind of person who becomes a trans women in Berkeley, which no one seems to dispute—this is the kind of thing people like me spend a lot of time on. And—it just, doesn't really seem like something actual-females would relate to

 * I didn't masturbate from Sat. until Wed. in anticipation of trying on the mask in a hotel room; I was delighted that I came a little bit (entirely flaccid) while shitting—that's a sign that I had succeeded in building up, and yet somehow I didn't feel very horny or get as much pleasure when the time came? Maybe I'm getting old?