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[Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git] / notes / notes.txt

fragments—

O Wad Some Power the Giftie Gie Us; Or, the Identity Dysphoria Trap (school dysphoria)

Reuknighted (C. being really curious about my hair "It's complicated." "I think it sets me apart from other guys." Were we ever really living in the same world?)

reanalysis of Lawrence data!!!

Entangled Truths, Contagious Lies (Transgender Edition)
(Eugenics Is Really Important, You Delusional Bastards)
The Aristocrats
Yalta (https://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-essential-conflict/ "What's in it for me?" "You're the one who doesn't believe in personal identity—you should be happy for us")
Fertility
Externalize Everything
"I Will Fight for the Place Where I'm Free"; Or, Stop Praising Steven Universe for LGBT Representation
Worlds Collide

El Goonish Shive  (http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=2328 http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=1895)

Choir

"The Distance Between Mars and Venus: Measuring Global Sex Differences in Personality" http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0029265

Stop Expecting Social Reality to Make Sense

re simple models are better: https://evolutionistx.wordpress.com/2017/01/12/conservatives-over-generalize-liberals-under-generalize/

clumpy thingspace!— https://darwinianreactionary.wordpress.com/2014/05/23/race-and-realism-part-2/

Michael Arc says: "some sort of discussion of the double standard while unambiguously attaching Trump and lampshading 'Locker Room Talk' would probably be valuable"

Micahel Arc on nerds anchoring on explicit norms: http://lesswrong.com/lw/sq/a_genius_for_destruction/m5g 

Flipping the Frame

Blanchardian Truth Serum— "Bayesian Truth Serum" scoring assigns more weight to "surprisingly popular" answers. Doesn't work when people are self-deceptive, I think?—in Veale's data, people think AGP applies to other people, not them
https://nelmit.files.wordpress.com/2016/10/bts.pdf
http://www.jaimieveale.com/publications/Masters.pdf (p. 82)


push back against the global narrative without pushing back against any particular individual narrative


- meta-political—
* The View From Nowhere
* As Well for a Sheep as a Lamb (polarizing tribal forces—because only bad ppl talk about AGP, you need to be very DGAF about politics in order to not be locked out of the correct explanation—and even then, socialization forces might turn you against your own ppl, something I have to be wary of)
* The Spirit of Compromise; you can't take away transition technology; if you say it can only be used for dysphoria and not fetish, that creates an enormous incentive for self-delusion; even if someone like Kay would prefer that AGPs don't transition, at least getting ppl to admit that there are two types is a next step; maybe _after_ the trans rights movement has won, _then_ suddenly people will feel free to be non-delusional; "partial autogynephilia" may be partially GAMP, but a lot of it is compromise 

you delusional bastards—
* I Want to See You Be Brave
* Yes, the Only Real Trans Woman Is a Transitioned Trans Woman (critique of https://medium.com/@jencoates/i-am-a-transwoman-i-am-in-the-closet-i-am-not-coming-out-4c2dd1907e42#.5dlc2qog6) 
* Review of Nevada

the phenomenon—
* Survey of a Crossdreamscape and Why This Is Pretty Obviously Not What Cis Women Feel About Themselves
* Blanchard's Dangerous Idea and the Plight of the Lucid Crossdreamer; Or, Could Self-Reports Really Be That Wrong??
* Reduce Gender Identities to Gender Goals ("trans" vs. "cis" only makes sense if the gradient between full-transition intervention and no intervention is sufficiently sharp)

epistemology—
* The Neglect of Probability Fallacy; Or, You Do Not Have an Intersex Condition
*  (if not super-femme, there must be some other reason ...)
* High-Dimensional Social Science and the Cluster Concept of Concepts
* Stereotypes, Models, and Cognition
* Mary's Room (we have calibration to know that we're probably mostly seeing the same colors up to colorblindness and tetrachromacy, but ppl probably don't mean the same thing by "gender dysphoria" or "identity", or "sexual orientation" (ref pseudobisexuality); the map is not the territory)
* Simple Models Plus Noise Are Better Than Pretending Not to Have a Model (because personal identity doesn't exist, comparing notes with other people and being able to learn from _their_ mistakes is more useful than just saying "everyone has their own experience")


other commentary—
psychological sex differences aren't real, but gender identity is?? always nurture except when politically convenient
Bucketing (go through Wikipedia list of trans women, categorize everyone)
horror story about trans activists being pro-porn, &c. indicating how aliens would analyze them as a subtype of males
* Engineering possibilities (Anne Lawrence identitfy early); people say they wish they could have transitioned younger if they knew it were possible (https://twitter.com/argumentshop/status/815633404943183872), but part of the reason people don't know it's possible is because AGP fantasy is the strongest diagnostic criterion and everyone is lying about this
rachet effect (http://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-slippery-slope/) (I can't imagine self with short hair)
My Story
* Collective Debt, Collective Shame (what I wanted to say to /r/GenderCritical, why it didn't work, even if they're not so hostile towards Miranda Yardley or the androphilic MtTs who post)
* Someone Has To Say It
* Falsifiability and What We Expect Not to See (this is important for the Bayes crowd)
* critique Julia Serano on nature: of course trans genders are less natural; that's the entire fucking point
* wait, even Julia Serano can't find cis women to date?? http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/14/the-struggle-to-find-trans-love-in-san-francisco.html (I would expect the status boost of being a B-list activist would help; less high-status trans women have even less of a chance)
* the intellectually-honest, transhumanist version of trans rights
* "Entangled Truths, Contagious Lies": https://autogynephiliatruth.wordpress.com/2016/07/18/gender-identity-exists-to-create-special-framework-for-health-insurance-payments/ 

criticism—
Gender of the Gaps (you can always propose an essence when people knock down your ludicrous rationalization)
Time Travel Isn't Real

cathartic—
Napoleon
70s denialists had it right

pages—
compile papers


----

Getting It Right the First Time
Psychological Theories Predict Behavior, Not Just Self-Reports
My Delusional Paraphilia Is the Best Delusional Paraphilia in the World
Dual-Role Transvestism for the 21st Century
 (I pass as college educated)

 
my upsetness at trans activists not respecting _my_ lived experience as AGP is reminicent of narcisstic rage in ppl hwo 

at some point, I want to work in the idea that AGP is a good thing because it's a pro-androgyny force in a world that is otherwise way too gendered for my tastes

counterfeit utility

because we're not narcissists http://elegantgatheringofwhitesnows.com/?p=2270

euphoric effects of E are a placebo effect! https://autogynephiliatruth.wordpress.com/about/#comment-155

very vague childhood memory of wanting to play with my pecs? Is it real??

I'm happy for people to rebuild their lives around a paraphilia. I'm not happy for people to rebuild their lives around a _bad explanation_.

The Girl in the Mirror
The Hand I Was Dealt
A Man With a Transfeminine Side
The Man With the Nonstandard Hormone Balance

not a masculine, macho man, but, you know, the biologically-male kind of man

https://transwidow.wordpress.com/2016/01/25/the-masculinity-of-mtf-transition/

Blanchard tweets me: https://twitter.com/BlanchardPhD/status/830580552562524160

the story about being on the Portland MAX train and talking to Dap, and then saying hi to the woman 

marketing opportunity? https://bannedbytrans.wordpress.com/speaking-out-against-transactivist-silencing-tactics/

_Someone_ has to be _that asshole_ who says the true thing that everyone else is too cowardly to say, and I guess it's going to have to be me, Taylor Saotome-Westlake.

tailcalled's survey: https://www.reddit.com/r/GCdebatesQT/comments/6hp72p/are_agps_misogynist_results_from_a_survey/

"I was already presenting as female online, and in the pretty niche stuff I was playing around with it seemed like I was a novelty to devs. I got more than a few questions about how I was a girl – who liked computers! The tone was always friendly, but the undertone was clear: I was weird." https://modelviewculture.com/pieces/there-and-back-again (The devs' surprise is making a _correct prediction_)

sorry Dad https://twitter.com/HandOnHilt/status/876880147152072704

http://www.translucidcomic.com/comic/the-pair/

too picky http://pbfcomics.com/comics/matched/

(early play behavior predicts later aggression) https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-1005-6
(empathizing and systematizing) http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0031661

https://twitter.com/arthur_affect/status/883902728849809409 "being nice to people with a weird disorder but not so nice you forget you're just humoring them" (Yes, exactly)

women do worse on Asch; in contrast, trans women are _selected_ for nonconformity

original research post?— the Hsu–Bailey autopedophilia paper finds a much higher rate of ETLE in pedophiles than in normal men (they say they found 15% AGP in the Mechanical Turk sample gathered for their earlier psychometrics-of-AGP work, but oddly, the psychometrics-of-AGP paper doesn't seem to mention this?? Maybe ask Bailey to clarify sometime??); could this be evidence for the developmental competition effect? (Pedophiles thankfully don't get to actualize their desires, so they fall into ETLI instead?) Similarly, concerning the high IQ of AGP trans women not just being a selection effect: maybe it's because smart people don't get laid (remember that study about a huge fraction of MIT grad students being virgins)

http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0118329

Inherent Trade-Offs in risk scoring https://arxiv.org/abs/1609.05807 (via https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/6xkyyu/culture_war_roundup_for_the_week_following/dmk92dw/)

prental T and gynephilia in women and women-adj https://twitter.com/SteveStuWill/status/905572666332987392 http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0018506X16301222

http://www.misfile.com/?date=2007-07-05

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40806-017-0120-x

body measurements dist'ns http://anthro.cs.uni-freiburg.de/#colx=100&coly=6

same-sex couples do less assortative mating! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2843104/

On Mar 4, 2017 3:23 PM, "Zack M. Davis" <main@zackmdavis.net> wrote:

    Genocide is murder of a class of people. Can you be more specific about the class of people you see being murdered (nerdy men?) and what you think is murdering them (the political-correctness memeplex that evolved as a social-control mechanism to prevent the United States from becoming Yugoslavia)?

    I'm guessing you see a picture where the underlying bug in male sexual psychology that leads to AGP would be far less likely to progress to "gender dysphoria"/actually-doing-something-about-it in a world where it was socially-acceptable for highly-verbal 13-year-old boys to seek out sex instead of taking the you're-not-allowed-to-try verbal rules seriously? I agree with this; Blanchard calls this "developmental competition." It's notable that Robert Heinlein's novels have some very strong AGP themes, but I'm not aware of any evidence that he actually did anything about it real life, whereas I, growing up 80 years later, am about to and feel like it's the right choice on reflection given my historically-anomalous developmental trajectory, even though it probably looks like ideologically-driven self-harm from the perspective of normal men.

    And you think that if the forces of political correctness win and "trans" becomes an entrenched cultural practice, that's like genociding future generations of Robert Heinlein analogues? Whereas from inside the trans-rights social-reality bubble, it looks like you're trying to genocide future generations of Julia Serano analogues. (Julia Serano is a prominent trans activist and author of one of the standard articles that get cited to try to "debunk" autogynephilia.) And from inside my Zack-M.-Davis-personal-eclectic-ideology-bubble, I want to rescue the Julia Serano aesthetic in a way that's compatible with knowledge of science and history. (Robert Heinlein was scientifically- and historically-literate, and Julia Serano is an ignorant ideologue, but Robert Heinlein was a manly man who was OK with being a manly man as his social identity and that's just not my style.)
     
    On 2017-03-04 14:12, Michael Vassar wrote:
>     The ACLU needs to address how plausible the arguments for censorship are.  People accepting censorship need to address arguments about how real the harms are. As far as I can tell, you are three maximally concrete and articulate case of a person harness by PC in a context where an impartial summary would call it attempted genocide

"Years before that, two different transwomen I knew had pressured me into sending nude photos of my breasts to them." https://4thwavenow.com/2016/04/27/shrinking-to-survive-a-former-trans-man-reports-on-life-inside-queer-youth-culture/


----

Cut from quitting-hormones post (too repetitive given the rest of the blog?)—

I think I would prefer not to say it. But given [cultural](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ManIFeelLikeAWoman) and [scholarly]((https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15859369)) evidence that the underlying psychological phenomenon is not that uncommon, and given that trans rights is perhaps _the_ culture war issue of our time, of which the psychological phenomenon is of some relevance to, _someone has to say it_.

And I guess it's going to have to be me, Taylor Saotome-Westlake.

-----

Tail: "zack logic: I don't want an AGP wife because they act too male and that'd be insufficiently female-aligned, I want a cis wife who acts like an AGP wife instead
have you considered just giving in to the AGP life?"

'conditional on "we somehow eliminate all homophobia and bullying of gnc people and so on", how realistic does the following sound?
Gay men no longer repress their GNC, which means they end up socially a lot more like HSTS trans women. (Exactly like HSTS trans women? Or would they be different because lower h on average?) This switches the west to """transgender homosexuality""", as, uh, the newHSTSs (that is, the HSTS-spectrum people who're now feminine in that society but aren't in ours) are now less attractive to each other but more attractive to straight men, and the straight men are less opposed to having sex with them because less homophobia. The newHSTSs are probably going to use HRT, if nothing else then because it makes them more attractive to straight men
because that's the impression I got from TMWWBQ'

-----

The problem is not social engineering! The problem is _incompetent_ social engineering! The problem is not experimenting on children! The problem is experimenting on children in the service of an ideological crusade rather than in the service of finding out what happens!

-----

> And in the online communities I encountered on my journey, and still follow today, I see the same question, repeated over and over, as sweet scared humans pour their vulnerability into a text box, entrusting a group of strangers to help them make the decision of a lifetime:
> 
> What if this is just a fetish?
>
> —https://medium.com/gender-shrug/just-1b8c09a11f18

https://player.fm/series/opening-up-behind-the-scenes-of-our-open-marriage/8-johns-kink-with-consequences


https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/72vi36/foia_request_for_wansink_emails_show_how_an_ivy/dnmp0q9/ (relate to Conchran on lost knowledge?)


Vee String review: still ... noticeably not part of my body.

(That was the same thing I thought about breastforms. Considering how that escalted, maybe it would be better for my health and bodily integrity to not pursue this line of thinking ...)

----

tail: secretly, all AGP trans women are clockable because you can just look at the hobbies

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/78zw2h/how_many_of_you_were_confused_by_a_transformation/

He has a wife and kids to support (if this is 1998) or her FFS bill to pay off (if this is (2018)

etymology fun fact: "male" comes from the Latin malus, meaning "bad"

---

on a Facebook thread about female-dominated gym classes, a female acquaintance writes, "My class focuses on weightlifting and it's still all women (including one trans, oddly enough)." (You wouldn't say "oddly enough" if you actually believed that trans women are women!)

This is so great
http://www.on1foot.org/text/even-bochan-kalonymus-ben-kalonymus
http://www.transtorah.org/PDFs/On-Becoming-A-Woman.pdf

https://theestablishment.co/yes-trans-women-can-get-period-symptoms-e43a43979e8c

Rya comes out as AGP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ferdf6iRTOg

----

I really hope there's a way to use frequencies and Bayes nets to disprove dysphoria→AGP causal direction, particularly because then I'll be able to call the post "Algebraic Typology"

I thought of this pun first/independently: https://twitter.com/WildStoryWoman/status/927514752405737474

BIID: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/28711223/?i=1&from=body%20integrity%20identity%20disorder

the heartbreaking misogyny of my native subculture (not that I'm any different): https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/7bjywe/wellness_wednesday_8th_november_2017/dpitpnu/

Christian AGP repressor: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG7sNHEv-HMKwGQE9RS2byQ

Binnie-ism: https://twitter.com/FioraAeterna/status/928664101013790720

----


but now I'm watching TV
and I have a new actress crush
Lauren Ash
maybe it's just the character she's playing, but she seems slightly facially masculinized?
but so curvy
so my type
America Ferrera is also in this show
I remember her from Ugly Betty, which I would watch at the University in 2007
before the personality-altering nervous breadown that led me to quit
there was a trans woman character on that show, but she was played by Rebecca Romijn
there was a poignant line (you know it's poignant when you can remember a line from a TV show you saw ten years ago) where she says to her brother, "Look into my eyes, Danny; it's the only thing they couldn't change"
and how do I put this
my blog would sound a lot less transphobic if we had the technology to make AGPs look like Rebecca Romijn
Trent - Today at 11:17 PM
it would sound more transphobic, no? you'd have transitioned, so you wouldn't be concerned with some of the signalling you do now (e.g. woman as a gender rather than transwoman as one) and may indeed be actively signalling that you haven't signed the contract, Yardley-style; the idea it'd be less transphobic assumes becoming Romijn would put you more in line with trans topics as well
(unless I'm misinterpreting something, which is a reasonable assumption)
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 11:19 PM
you're right; I wasn't taking the hypothetical seriously enough

> ("Since I was 5, I felt like I've been dropped in the wrong skin. This is about correcting a mistake." "Oh, is that all it is? Really?" "That's the fast version.")

sex diffs in paraphilias: https://muse.jhu.edu/article/669634/pdf

malpractice lawsuit (can't find better public info): https://detransitionedwomenresistadf.wordpress.com/2017/11/19/first-blog-post/

transition didn't change crime rate: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0016885

"... your identity is supposed to describe the problems you face in your life, not manufacture them": http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/167070168982/old-school-butch-neat-dyke-something-that

http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/162258180487/on-being-a-young-butch-lesbian-at-pride-2017

http://neat-dyke.tumblr.com/post/154578646192/negative-social-effects-of-my-mastectomy

productivity lifehacks: do excellent work in an extremely low-status field that you'd be mortified to be primarily known for, thus forcing yourself to also do excellent work in another area in order to rescue your reputation

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7757667
https://clarissasblog.com/2014/05/14/i-dont-want-to-hire-women/

drawn by a cis woman?? http://weknowmemes.com/2013/11/perks-of-being-a-woman/

"Impact of Using Non-Birth Sex on the Interpretation of Spirometry Data in Subjects With Air-Flow Obstruction": http://rc.rcjournal.com/content/early/2017/11/28/respcare.05586

decrease in IQ on puberty suppression: https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2017.00528/full

AGP pride flag origin: https://4archive.org/board/lgbt/thread/8628058/attached-image-is-the-agp-pride-flag-black-represents-the-r

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/6uc18b/has_any_of_you_felt_horny_when_using_a_packer_for/

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/kbxw7v/i-was-robbed-of-my-transgender-childhood

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/4ltxc1/does_anyone_else_get_really_turned_on_checking/

https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/7iqcaf/told_my_wife_i_want_to_transition/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/5axie2/nsfw_im_mtf_i_feel_like_my_body_is_aroused_and/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/7vdw5u/arousal_is_really_messing_with_my_head/

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/7yfyp2/anybody_discover_they_were_trans_though_sissy_porn/

Lindsay Shepherd/James Damore shipfic

Brazillian woman moves to Sweeden and cherished egalitarian culture: https://medium.com/@sayhellotovanessa/the-oddities-of-being-an-invisible-woman-8570394caa0d

most of men's attractiveness is cues of upper-body strength: http://rspb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/284/1869/20171819

> In the psychiatric evaluation, Johnson reveals that Kaczynski had persistent and intense sexual fantasies about being a woman. While he was a graduate student at the University of Michigan in 1967, he went to a psychiatrist to discuss his wishes for a sex change operation. But in the waiting room, he decided he could not go forward. Instead, he told the psychiatrist he was depressed about the possibility of being drafted.
>
> — https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1998/09/12/gender-confusion-sex-change-idea-fueled-kaczynskis-rage-report-says/eb33b946-8595-427d-af4c-9ccaada45935/?utm_term=.6222611253f6

so I'm watching more of the retail comedy with :hearts:♡ Lauren Ash ♡:hearts:,  and I think it's just _sociologically fascinating_ how the writers are playing Culture War (guest star character is pro-bathroom bill, and our protagonists are sneeringly like, "Wow, that's so bigoted")
like, this is how social change happens
with a conspiracy of NBC comedy writers conspiring to hamfistedly socially intimidate their viewers into not believing anything uncool
that's my second thought, anyway
my first thought is
OMG ★♡ Lauren Ash ♡★ I want to be ~~with~~ her

https://www.newsbusters.org/blogs/culture/erik-soderstrom/2016/09/23/superstore-goes-strike-mocks-bigots-against-transgender

> Garrett: Hey, nik-nik-nikki. I had a quick just, like, silly question for you. Uh, how serious are you about all this sort of trans bathroom stuff?
Nikki: What do you mean?
Garrett: I mean, like, is it the only thing you think about or is it more like one of those barely talk about it, just how you were raised, opinion could change if you surrounded yourself with a cooler, more diverse group of friends type deals?

(it's interesting that there's one other (semi-) widely-recognized expansion of that initialism)

the "husband and provider and guardian of a small AI" game looks fun, that I would be so good at it that the thought isn't worth dropping just because you deserve Bob and Alice doesn't want me and Carol doesn't want me and Edith quietly detests me and Georgia belongs to Dave and the owners of OKCupid have pissed themselves laughing about how much money I'm paying them for the privilege of knowing that _ and _ haven't read my poem

"You women and your risk-aversion (compared to men) due to lower reproductive variance (than men) in the environment of evolutionary adaptiveness" is what my analogue who is not forbidden from such thoughts would say

I like her as a person but am very conscious of the extent to which I am currently on her good side due to luck and carefully deceptive handling

(I don't even think I know what I use internally; my blog says "trans women" as two words so as not to pile insult onto injury) but my model, under whatever word, is "guys like me"

like many bottom-80-percentile males, I'm ambiguous on the sign of the poly thing


suffering is the chisel God uses to shape us into our true selves

suffering is bad in general, but I've already used up my please-take-care-of-me-I'm-hurt quota for the year, which means I have to enthusiastically endorse any emotional pain that happens to me today

everyone already knows to be cynical about cola commercials, but somehow people expect "Seek medical care if you're concerned" to be taken literally

"We have so much in common!" I said. "Too much," she said.
the cognitive dissonance that makes "all trans women" and "all closet crossdressers" the only stable equilibria for social circles of AGP males in a culture without a public concept of AGP
https://transblog.grieve-smith.com/the-essential-conflict/

at JCC camp, I remember saying that I wasn't the kind of guy who was interested in big breasts. "Well, then you're not a guy," I was told. But actually I just hadn't hit puberty yet

Like, I used to tack the word "aspiring" in front as my preferred means of indicating that we don't think we've already solved rationality. Nowadays, I just reach for the scare quotes.

While I agree that words can be used in many ways depending on context, I claim that sometimes it's useful to use this top-20 noun to refer strictly to the same thing it's always referred to for the past 200,000 years since language evolved, even if we have reasonably chosen to broaden the extension of that noun to also include other, relevantly similar things in most day-to-day contexts! Given that people are capable of inferring what is meant from the relevant context, this won't confuse anyone, and we can continue peacefully using language to describe reality. Then, we can use those descriptions of reality to formulate plans! Plans that will steer the universe into regions of configuration space that rank higher in our individual and collective preference orderings!

NRx-inspired (sigh ... yes, unfortunately) points—

(most of this should probably be split into a separate post even if I'm happening to do some outlining in this file; evil speculation shouldn't contaminate the solid "Infovism" idea/slogan)—

 * democracy is government by whichever memes happen to be the most virulent
 * outcomes of the long run of a one-dimensional conflict can be classified, roughly something like: Left total victory, right total victory, mutually assured destruction, and program equilibrium
    * program equilibrium isn't easy/possible for humans
    * the key point here is that "grant this demand, deny all others" isn't a
      defensible Schelling point; if you yield here, the _same algorithm_ is
      going to be running the next time
 * "Berkeley 2009 morality was just right, but this Berkeley 2017 bullshit has
   gone _too far_!"
    * If I were dictator, (Berkeley, 2009) could be made to work, but everyone has her own (city, year) pair
       * for some reason I thought this was analogous to something from the
         Coherent Extrapolated Volition document: Dennis thinks he should own
         the world, but fairness requires that Dennis's name be erased from any
         such request, and "some X should own the world" is underspecified"
 * remember my conversation with a certain female bio-/psychologist studying at
   Harvard who told me that "Trans women are men with a mental illness" made
   more sense, but that she was afraid to even think that within the privacy of
   her own head
    * fucking _Harvard_
 * Moldbug, "The True Meaning of Diversity": "Certainly not every party member
   is an [X]. Most of them, in fact, are not. Nor is it absolutely guaranteed
   that every single [X] will be a party member. But most of them, in fact,
   are"—thus, requiring representaiton of Xes benefits the party
 * practice of deferring to designated-victim trans women _makes the trans
   women worse people_: if you know that you can win a dispute by playing the
   transphobia card, that incentive shapes your life (Moldbug: discussion of
   "ignoble privilege" in "Gentle Introduction" pt. 3)
    * kind of like how _the right to be sued_ is an important part of legal
      personhood: the possibility of recourse is necessary for trust


feminists are masculinized: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4158978/

APA pronoun stickers: https://twitter.com/4th_WaveNow/status/950052584416595969
(original is https://twitter.com/Lucia_A_Schwarz/status/949315365842116608 )

women's voices allegedly getting deeper?!— https://twitter.com/degenrolf/status/949530603342454784

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/7py0ic/fetishizing_yourself/

https://medium.com/eden-the-cat/please-stop-making-me-come-out-as-non-binary-at-work-ab72e17abbcc
https://medium.com/eden-the-cat/i-came-out-as-non-binary-a-year-ago-here-is-my-experience-177f74fc553e

Tailcalled: "The five genders, chad, male, enby, female, stacy"

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/7s4bu2/as_a_lesbian_in_university_i_feel_increasingly/

https://theestablishment.co/japanese-cartoon-porn-helped-me-understand-my-trans-identity-d5bba16cdaf3

AAP: https://www.reddit.com/r/GCdebatesQT/comments/7s8twd/do_trans_natal_males_fetishize_teenage_girlhood/dt3ea2n/

the conjunction of anti-transphobia and anti-Islamophobia is very strange

https://voices.avoiceformen.com/j4mb/2018/01/15/terrified-patient-treated-like-transphobic-bigot/ —this is a compelling fiction prompt! Sad that a male author like me would be needed to fill in the "evolutionary radfem" niche—have the protagonist be hyperaware of the Rotherdam betrayal

Zucker et al. study that's one of the sources of "majority desist" claims ("Demographics, behavior problems, and psychosexual characteristics of adolescents with gender identity disorder or transvestic fetishism") https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22390530

Tailcalled—
Old: A*P is caused by internalized sexism, thinking that you have to be a boy to be masculine and have to be a girl to be feminine
Bold: A*P is caused by lack of sexism, thinking that you can be masculine/nerdy as a girl and feminine/sensitive as a boy

https://pasunhomme.wordpress.com/2015/01/26/crossdressing-and-the-untransy-valley/

like, I regard—

 * transitioning and passing (or passing-adj) as a good outcome
 * transitioning and not-passing as a bad outcome,
 * soft body mods (e.g. my breasts)/occasional transvestism without social transition as a good outcome
 * nonbinary-but-unwilling-to-explain-what-that-means-because-MIGI as a bad outcome (because people are still going to notice your biological sex and make probabilistic inferences about it, but feel socially obligated to pretend that they aren't, and ubiquitous socially-obligatory lies are bad), and
 * NB-adj transfeminine or transmasculine as an explicit third-gender role as a good outcome, but a very tricky social-engineering problem to establish that niche where it doesn't already exist
 
https://twitter.com/KJ_Harrison/status/958435696359993345

distinguish between two types of culture war: when you're demonizing the enemy as orcs, and when you're fighting for the outcome of what happens to people _just like you_

it won't look like that for me due to ideological factors
"No, I'm not transitioning; I just want to get back on HRT again, for Science"
1 BLOCKED MESSAGE
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 7:48 PM
"No, it's not facial feminization surgery; it's just a different cosmetic procedure that happens to be performed by the same doctor"

(on the phone during supermarket checkout) "No, it's just a brain transplant into a artificial vat-grown female body." (store clerk says, "Have a good day, ma'am") "That's very kind of you to say, but—"

I need to write a magical-realism short story pushing on the analogies between dating as a hot girl and job-searching as a good programmer. Specifically, a story a world in which all engineers are female and all businesspeople are male, dwelling on the theme that on the one hand, it's nice to protected and valued and be taken care of, but on the other hand, it's exploitative that the class of protectors is freeloading off the creative labor of your class, which they could never produce on their own (smash capitalism/the patriarchy!!)

Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 12:00 AM
"I totally agree with [one-sentence literal summary of the movement's goals], I just disagree with [every other belief and instrumental strategy connotationally associated with the movement]"
... actually, this generalized situation (meeting the criteria of a simple verbal definition, but not being part of that cluster in configuration space along most dimensions) sounds awfully familiar
... I'm pro-trans in the same sense that AGP trans women are women
vaticidalprophet - Today at 12:02 AM
I get the feeling ever saying those words invalidates you from all definitions of 'pro-trans' even if they are strictly speaking correct
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 12:03 AM
but Treeeeent, the bullet-biting æsthetic
vaticidalprophet - Today at 12:03 AM
jesus, Oberlo is taking a long time to update the prices on my sketchy streetwear dropshipping store
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 12:03 AM
you can tell I'm serious about it because I bothered to grab the æ ligatrue
vaticidalprophet - Today at 12:04 AM
I can tell you're pretentious because you bothered to grab it, that's orthogonal
Carrie Zelda-Michelle Davis - Today at 12:04 AM
"... ligatrue?" "Yes."

----

to say on FB after "The Categories" is finished??

So, hopefully this version is a lot clearer and less needlessly dramatic than my kamikaze halt-melt-catch-fire public tantrum/mental-breakdown of this time last year: [blog link]

[share memory]

-----

https://www.wired.com/2009/03/designerdebate/
cellular-level sex differences  http://www.physiology.org/doi/abs/10.1152/ajpcell.00281.2013

Effects of prenatal androgens on rhesus monkeys https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3146061/

https://theestablishment.co/why-we-must-stop-calling-menstruation-a-womens-issue-a9c58c677f7c

https://twitter.com/BretWeinstein/status/969660864641953792

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/9-things-people-get-wrong-about-being-non-binary

60,000 likes for "Some men have a uterus": https://twitter.com/PPIndKentucky/status/969384341636861952

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_flank_effect

demography: https://twitter.com/conradhackett/status/974750991756283904

http://sinesalvatorem.tumblr.com/post/172312442416/trying-to-talk-to-trans-people-about-their-sexual any scale that involves "pretending you’re a woman" in the instructions is OK by me

http://sinesalvatorem.tumblr.com/post/172395616411/explanations-for-distinct-clusters-of-transgender

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blood-boundaries-should-transfusions-be-matched-by-sex/

Nothing we haven't seen before, but God Herself above, this fucking poll and thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/89nw0w/did_you_have_a_genderbody_swaptransformation/

https://www.reddit.com/r/MtF/comments/89s93d/getting_so_much_transierthanthou_flak_for_being/

Culture War gem mining, traditionalism for the family: https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/88zgv0/culture_war_roundup_for_the_week_of_april_2_2018/dwt8kjb/

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2018/04/biohacking-siren-song/557849/

----

A female commenter on one of Giego's posts—

"When I do experience strong attraction, it feels like being scared of the power of attraction itself. It's pleasantly thrilling rather than aversive, but the fear is real, and it's just as compelling as any other fear. This feeling is what produces my coy behaviors like smiling and looking away.

"In this way, I literally *feel* whatever this delay mating instinct is.

"I can't just decide not to feel it. I will feel it no matter what.

"Also, I enjoy the thrill. I don't *want* to get rid of it. I would prefer to experience more of it. If you want to talk about sheer hedonism, I would definitely want to keep this feeling if I were to re-engineer my brain. The feeling of anticipation or suspense is very enjoyable for me."

----

fake implies artificial (but not vice versa)

Cut from "Reply to The Unit" (too far afield, not sure what point I'm trying to make): speculating about unproven sex differences isn't _quite_ as prejudicial as it sounds: if a 19th century scholar, knowing nothing of sex chromosomes, had reasoned, "Whatever the physical mechanism of heredity turns out to be, it probably distinguishes between males and females". (Is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temperature-dependent_sex_determination a counterexample or the dreaded "example that proves the rule" like pipefish or the Eurasian dotterel?)

the ultimate AGP weekend project (like crossdressing, but with more code): http://svencharleer.com/blog/2018/02/02/family-fun-with-deepfakes-or-how-i-got-my-wife-onto-the-tonight-show/

"right"-aligned folk like to say the IAT is "pseudoscientific bullshit", but what if those failed replications are just committing Goldberg's "fallacy of the irrelevant experiment"? Here's a pro-IAT _and_ pro-stereotype-accuracy take: "blacks are violent" stereotype strength varies with local crime rates http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550617753522 (via https://twitter.com/mjbsp/status/983338239221293057)

want to get around to watching this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDDIWGlBt3o

Tips for arguing with libtards:
 * They don't like the "Don't negotiate with terrorists" frame because they don't understand analogies; need to find gentler frames
 * They'll believe that you're AGP, but they don't want you to say that other people are AGP because they don't understand that the self is still a part of objective reality; need to explain why it matters

Consider an illustrative diagram in which there is a hard line in the combined height–weight configuration space, but the line isn't describable in terms of height or weight alone. If there were sufficiently many more traits/dimensions, we could imagine "not describable in terms of some small number of variables n" starting to look more like "not explicitly describable by humans."

(not gender-related but I don't have a good notes system): E. Weinstein on IQ: https://twitter.com/EricRWeinstein/status/987833935185952768

"Prenatal endocrine influences on sexual orientation and on sexually differentiated childhood behavior" https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3296090/

The sad thing is, not only is AGP not the same thing as what women feel, a lot of woman are disgusted by it: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCritical/comments/8e9gd6/what_men_find_behind_female_masks/dxtgrcp/

https://feminina.eu/2017/12/28/my-current-philosophical-struggles/

http://strip.villainette.com/20180205

Yes, my Friendship Problems are proof of my female MIGI: "The overall rates of friendship conflict did not differ between men and women, but women were more likely to clash with close friends, to express feelings of anguish over the breakup, and to be more demanding of evidence of remorse before reconciling." — https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/16/science/friendship-discrimination.html   

women Cooperate less in Prisoner's Dilemma?! https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0001691817305917

degrees of FBOE and GNC https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-0980-y

T. accurately psychoanalyzes me: "she doesn't want men and women to be different, and spends a lot of time minimizing these differences, except when she's trying to be more ego-syntonic about the decision to live as male
in which case she writes giant blog posts on how real and massive it is"