Ultimately_Untrue_Thought.git
7 days ago"A Hill" tap, shovel master
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 27 Jun 2022 00:17:02 +0000 (17:17 -0700)]
"A Hill" tap, shovel

7 days agoSunday afternoon renewal 2: stitching "A Hill" (pt. 3) intro
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 26 Jun 2022 23:37:33 +0000 (16:37 -0700)]
Sunday afternoon renewal 2: stitching "A Hill" (pt. 3) intro

7 days agoSunday afternoon renewal 1: shoveling at "A Hill" (pt. 3) intro
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 26 Jun 2022 22:02:08 +0000 (15:02 -0700)]
Sunday afternoon renewal 1: shoveling at "A Hill" (pt. 3) intro

7 days agotap/shovel "A Hill"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 26 Jun 2022 21:37:01 +0000 (14:37 -0700)]
tap/shovel "A Hill"

How do I get out of this rut?

8 days agofresh recap/intro to "A Hill" (as pt. 3)
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 26 Jun 2022 00:52:14 +0000 (17:52 -0700)]
fresh recap/intro to "A Hill" (as pt. 3)

Been really struggling with motivation today, but I'm here now—even if
I can just be here for an hour and remember what I'm fighting for,
that's something.

9 days agopublish "An Egoist Faith"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 25 Jun 2022 00:50:46 +0000 (17:50 -0700)]
publish "An Egoist Faith"

9 days agodrafting "An Egoist Faith"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 24 Jun 2022 23:29:20 +0000 (16:29 -0700)]
drafting "An Egoist Faith"

9 days agocheck in: back to it
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 24 Jun 2022 17:35:09 +0000 (10:35 -0700)]
check in: back to it

I got psychologically stalled last weekend? I can't explain it. But if
I have a good day today (writing punctuated by chores, maybe a takeout
reward if I succeed), then I won't need to explain.

2 weeks agoSaturday night despair
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 19 Jun 2022 06:56:57 +0000 (23:56 -0700)]
Saturday night despair

What's wrong with me? Why don't I want to write? But I need to finish
the Whole Dumb Story before the world ends—I have to see it through!

Will I remember tomorrow that I want to live?

2 weeks agodrafting "Useful Approximation"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 19 Jun 2022 01:02:21 +0000 (18:02 -0700)]
drafting "Useful Approximation"

Still haven't captured the fury today. I'm not proud that I reached
the point of pulling out my network cable again, rather than being
strong enough to function without it. Still, even though it's 18, it
seems plausible that I'll be able to finish a draft of this tonight
(including some numerical simulation), to dispatch for Tail's review
tomorrow evening (after I plug my network cable back in).

2 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 17 Jun 2022 18:31:17 +0000 (11:31 -0700)]
check in

2 weeks agothinking again that the Whole Dumb Story should be two posts
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 16 Jun 2022 21:15:57 +0000 (14:15 -0700)]
thinking again that the Whole Dumb Story should be two posts

The split between pt. 2 and pt. 3 should be "mostly" chronological,
but actually be by topic: pt. 2, "Blanchard's Dangerous Idea", is
about my war with the rats about AGP, and then pt. 3, "A Hill of
Validity", is about the Category War. (Pt. 1 was "Sexual Dimorphism.")

My response to Scott Alexander on autogenderphilia can go into the
discussion of evidence in Pt. 2 because that's where it fits
topically, even though it comes later chronologically. (It makes sense
to fold it into the Whole Dumb Story, because my actual crux relies on
illegible evidence, which is why it was so hard to draft the
standalone response.)

(Re-)splitting it out like this makes it clear how little actual
progress I've made on assembling the ms. for Pt. 3, which is supposed
to be the important part (although I do have a lot of notes and
section blocks).

2 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 16 Jun 2022 19:12:29 +0000 (12:12 -0700)]
check in

3 weeks agotypo: "more smarter"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 13 Jun 2022 03:25:13 +0000 (20:25 -0700)]
typo: "more smarter"

3 weeks agopublish "Comment on a Scene"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 13 Jun 2022 03:00:40 +0000 (20:00 -0700)]
publish "Comment on a Scene"

3 weeks agotweaks to "Comment on a Scene" in reaction to Ilzo's comments
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 13 Jun 2022 02:42:11 +0000 (19:42 -0700)]
tweaks to "Comment on a Scene" in reaction to Ilzo's comments

3 weeks agocomplete draft (and retitle) "Comment on a Scene"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 13 Jun 2022 00:39:20 +0000 (17:39 -0700)]
complete draft (and retitle) "Comment on a Scene"

3 weeks agodrafting "Worldbuilding": everyday base rates (sex stereotypes)
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 12 Jun 2022 22:02:57 +0000 (15:02 -0700)]
drafting "Worldbuilding": everyday base rates (sex stereotypes)

3 weeks agofill in and rework intro to "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 12 Jun 2022 01:28:45 +0000 (18:28 -0700)]
fill in and rework intro to "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"

We need to acknowledge the "measurements screen off demographic
categories" point first, before we move on to explain the "... but
Bayesian reasoning still works on demographic categories" thing. As
originally written, I'd expect people to get angry and stop reading
before I addressed the point two grafs later.

I somewhat regret the jab at Yudkowsky and his "rationalists" getting
cut in the shuffle, but it's probably for the best.

3 weeks agoharvesting email/Messenger quotes/notes for memoir: Feb/Mar 2016
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 12 Jun 2022 00:52:59 +0000 (17:52 -0700)]
harvesting email/Messenger quotes/notes for memoir: Feb/Mar 2016

... just looking through my Sent folder to reconstruct what was
happening in February/March.

3 weeks agodraft "Worldbuilding": problems with STR criterion, remaining TODO grafs
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 11 Jun 2022 19:00:26 +0000 (12:00 -0700)]
draft "Worldbuilding": problems with STR criterion, remaining TODO grafs

3 weeks agodrafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 11 Jun 2022 05:42:22 +0000 (22:42 -0700)]
drafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"

3 weeks agoprefer 0x2212 MINUS SIGN to 0x2D HYPHEN-MINUS
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 10 Jun 2022 22:17:52 +0000 (15:17 -0700)]
prefer 0x2212 MINUS SIGN to 0x2D HYPHEN-MINUS

3 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 10 Jun 2022 21:43:25 +0000 (14:43 -0700)]
check in

It's so easy to just not-get-started on a day when you don't have
obligations. I've known about this forever (since there was a thing as
summer vacation). But you can always choose to start now.

3 weeks agodrafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 9 Jun 2022 22:04:40 +0000 (15:04 -0700)]
drafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding"

3 weeks agodrafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding": It's Just Bayes
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 9 Jun 2022 18:07:17 +0000 (11:07 -0700)]
drafting "Consilient Cultural Worldbuilding": It's Just Bayes

3 weeks agoinspiration on where the Mad Investor Chaos draft is going
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 9 Jun 2022 15:19:30 +0000 (08:19 -0700)]
inspiration on where the Mad Investor Chaos draft is going

3 weeks agopoke at Mad Investor Chaos criticism
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 8 Jun 2022 15:10:30 +0000 (08:10 -0700)]
poke at Mad Investor Chaos criticism

3 weeks agodrafting Mad Investor Chaos criticism post
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 8 Jun 2022 07:32:50 +0000 (00:32 -0700)]
drafting Mad Investor Chaos criticism post

3 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Wed, 8 Jun 2022 01:06:16 +0000 (18:06 -0700)]
check in

4 weeks agoSunday detour 6: squirrel!
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 6 Jun 2022 00:39:55 +0000 (17:39 -0700)]
Sunday detour 6: squirrel!

When I glanced at the blog comments on my phone, Interstice said that
he (realistically _he_, but if not, I want to marry her) wanted to see
the story about the friendly squirrels.

This (which has no excuse taking more than an hour to finish and shove
out the door) has actually been sitting in my drafts since the
beginning of the blog more than five years ago! People really mostly
don't do things!

4 weeks agocheck in ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 23:22:10 +0000 (16:22 -0700)]
check in ...

Looking over my email "Sent" folder, I feel a lot of reluctance and
pain to relive this. I think it makes sense to use the timer to force
myself to do a first-pass outline of the historical points to hit. A
more detailed outline than the 10 TODOs I have at the end of the file
might be easier to fill in after they exist? 40 TODOs rather than
10. Chain-of-thought prompting.

4 weeks agoSunday attack 5: so many broken promises
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 22:14:00 +0000 (15:14 -0700)]
Sunday attack 5: so many broken promises

OK, I turned on my phone to call my mother about visiting tonight (at
19, after today's successful—don't you dare suggest it isn't—writing
marathon), and then I got lost peeking at Twitter.

Checking in an ancillary page about the hash-promise I broke seems
thematic. (Breaking the convention of not mentioning my real name on
the blog is not unprecedented in ancillary content as opposed to the
main text, and I want the hash to validate.)

Let's keep the momentum going for a few hours!!

4 weeks agoSunday retreat 4: religion, privacy
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 19:14:27 +0000 (12:14 -0700)]
Sunday retreat 4: religion, privacy

4 weeks agoSunday retreat 3: religion
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 17:46:50 +0000 (10:46 -0700)]
Sunday retreat 3: religion

4 weeks agoSunday retreat 2: chessboard, Pearl
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 16:52:19 +0000 (09:52 -0700)]
Sunday retreat 2: chessboard, Pearl

Feeling ambivalent about how much cussing to do (it's impure, but it
conveys a punch).

I paced outside in the rain a bit and peeked at Moravec, but mostly,
we've got to keep the momentum going while it's still morning!—let's
leave this scraps aside and push ahead on the main ms.

4 weeks agoSunday retreat 1: God-shaped hole, Pearl's authority
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 14:16:51 +0000 (07:16 -0700)]
Sunday retreat 1: God-shaped hole, Pearl's authority

4 weeks agocheck in before a productive Sunday?! Not lying??
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 13:41:35 +0000 (06:41 -0700)]
check in before a productive Sunday?! Not lying??

Even with the network cable out all day yesterday, I still found ways
to betray my responsibility, what I have to do while there's still
time. Today ...?

4 weeks agoSaturday evening retreat 2: simulation hypotheses
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 00:36:22 +0000 (17:36 -0700)]
Saturday evening retreat 2: simulation hypotheses

4 weeks agoSaturday evening retreat 1: re-org first Yudkowsky meet §
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 5 Jun 2022 00:09:36 +0000 (17:09 -0700)]
Saturday evening retreat 1: re-org first Yudkowsky meet §

It's so hard to get started—but now that I am started (far too late in
the day), I just have to keep rolling, and then keep rolling more
tomorrow (still with the network cable out), and then I'll be able to
meet my mom for Star Trek tomorrow evening. (I also told my roomie I
would go to the store tonight and get milk, but first—more writing!)

4 weeks agocheck in "Interlude XXII"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 4 Jun 2022 23:24:50 +0000 (16:24 -0700)]
check in "Interlude XXII"

Found this while looking at my emails—somehow I never blogged it at
the time? Maybe I didn't want to use the word "rationalist"?

4 weeks agodawdling check in ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 4 Jun 2022 20:24:29 +0000 (13:24 -0700)]
dawdling check in ...

Okay, even with the network cable out, it looks like it's easy to
dawdle. (Either by just hanging out and thinking, or by looking at
paper books: Hans Moravec and Bill Amend as a reminder that I Love the
'90s.) To actually make this weekend retreat meaningful, I guess I'm
going to have to resort to the crutch of a timer?

4 weeks ago"A Hill" Saturday retreat: Moldbug explainer
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 4 Jun 2022 19:09:05 +0000 (12:09 -0700)]
"A Hill" Saturday retreat: Moldbug explainer

4 weeks agocheck in before a productive Saturday
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 4 Jun 2022 16:28:06 +0000 (09:28 -0700)]
check in before a productive Saturday

I was supposed to have a productive no-net writing day yesterday but
then I wasted it being emotionally trashed; I felt bad about a comment
I wrote on Less Wrong that felt possibly too petty or off-topic—but I
had to speak, because Paul Christiano was saying he should back off of
responding to Yudkowsky's bluster, and I didn't want Christiano to
back down.

So I visited Valinor and played with Cimorene a bit, and watched the
body-swapping episode of _Star Trek: Voyager_ that I hadn't already
seen because I had thought it was just swapper-as-Paris (as contrasted
to the Doctor-as-Seven episode that I had of course already seen
twice), but Janeway's Memory Alpha page said she was played once by
Robert Duncan McNeil, so of course I had to see this one if it had
cross-gender swaps!! (It turned out that the swapper-as-female-alien
part was sexier than the swapper-as-Janeway/Janeway-as-Paris part.)

But today I'm not trashed anymore—my comment got 16 karma—and my
network is out and my phone is off, so I'm just going to make progress
on this memoir all day! It's not hard—there are already sections where
I know what I want to say (on misrepresentation of the Light, on
trust, on Moldbug), so I just need to sit down and convert thought to
text and keep doing that all day.

4 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 3 Jun 2022 20:13:30 +0000 (13:13 -0700)]
check in

4 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 31 May 2022 06:52:27 +0000 (23:52 -0700)]
check in

4 weeks agomemorial 2: finish pseudonymity aside
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Tue, 31 May 2022 02:26:52 +0000 (19:26 -0700)]
memorial 2: finish pseudonymity aside

4 weeks agomemorial 1: joke pseudonymity
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 30 May 2022 23:48:03 +0000 (16:48 -0700)]
memorial 1: joke pseudonymity

4 weeks agocheck in before Memorial Day afternoon/evening
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 30 May 2022 22:23:56 +0000 (15:23 -0700)]
check in before Memorial Day afternoon/evening

I guess I'm going to dayjob Tue.–Thu. this week because of Memorial
Day?  I've been pretty lazy today, and it's already 1600. But that
doesn't mean the day's a waste. If I put in a few solid hours, I'll be
able to feel good about myself—don't I remember how that felt
yesterday?

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 8: happy price I
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 30 May 2022 01:04:06 +0000 (18:04 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 8: happy price I

Okay—this has actually been a respectable writing day (I think the
ms. grew by a little under 1K words). I just need to do this four days
a week, and then I'll feel better about my life.

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 7: nothing to do with gender, happy price I
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 30 May 2022 00:32:12 +0000 (17:32 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 7: nothing to do with gender, happy price I

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 6: meeting my trans widow friend
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 22:53:53 +0000 (15:53 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 6: meeting my trans widow friend

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 5: finish § on doubting the Egregore
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 21:22:43 +0000 (14:22 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 5: finish § on doubting the Egregore

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 4: theological doubts
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 20:01:27 +0000 (13:01 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 4: theological doubts

Basically no net wordcount here, but deleting bracketed scratch words
and replacing them with the same amount of words actually integrated
into the ms. is real (slow) progress.

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal 3: weaving in the Moldbug "ignoble privilege" bit
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 19:33:42 +0000 (12:33 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal 3: weaving in the Moldbug "ignoble privilege" bit

I was silently dreading recounting my first contact with Yudkowsky,
but this is actually a good place to fit in the NRx stuff; I can craft
that in first. Forward steps, forward progress—

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal of fortune session 2: aside on naming choices
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 18:50:11 +0000 (11:50 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal of fortune session 2: aside on naming choices

This is kind of a big paragraph, but if I make it one paragraph and
put it in parentheses, I think that telegraphs that it's relatively
unimportant and the reader can skip it?

Putting multiple paragraphs in single paren-pair would be an
abomination, and I think multiple paragraphs each separately
parenthesized looks weird—I did do that once in "Sexual Dimorphism",
but it felt like it fit there.

If I were big into graphic design instead of only a little into
graphic design, I might make a sidebar? I think this is fine. (I think
I have much more important problems, like finishing this dumb memoir
before the world ends.)

5 weeks agoSunday leaf reversal session 1: I am rude, but for reasons
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 29 May 2022 18:10:00 +0000 (11:10 -0700)]
Sunday leaf reversal session 1: I am rude, but for reasons

My Thursday got eaten up by yet another Discord argument, which I can
forgive. (Why do we bother?—but I think we are making progress, on the
timescale of years.) But then Friday–Saturday were so lazy overall! (I
did fit in 800 words of commentary on a Bostrom article, including
this morning but it's really not much—not enough.)

Today—my internet is off, my phone is off, and I'll be able to feel
good about myself (and go visit my mother and watch Star Trek this
evening) if I just get some hours of solid memoir-writing in today! We
need to finish this memoir and get it in the language-model training
corpuses before the world ends—that should be motivating.

5 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 28 May 2022 00:31:27 +0000 (17:31 -0700)]
check in

5 weeks ago"personal identity" anchor in "Sexual Dimorphism"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 26 May 2022 18:12:04 +0000 (11:12 -0700)]
"personal identity" anchor in "Sexual Dimorphism"

5 weeks ago"look like an Oliver" anchor link
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 26 May 2022 02:46:50 +0000 (19:46 -0700)]
"look like an Oliver" anchor link

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 6: recapping the "ignoble privilege" argument
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 23 May 2022 02:01:49 +0000 (19:01 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 6: recapping the "ignoble privilege" argument

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 5 ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 23 May 2022 01:24:11 +0000 (18:24 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 5 ...

6 weeks agocheck in of sadness ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 23 May 2022 00:19:47 +0000 (17:19 -0700)]
check in of sadness ...

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 4: I would have expected ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 22:22:52 +0000 (15:22 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 4: I would have expected ...

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 3: port "male celebrity" anecdote commentary
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 21:06:50 +0000 (14:06 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 3: port "male celebrity" anecdote commentary

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 2: Thellim § cont'd
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 19:04:53 +0000 (12:04 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 2: Thellim § cont'd

6 weeks agoSunday life-seeking sprint 1: poke at Thellim §
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 18:27:47 +0000 (11:27 -0700)]
Sunday life-seeking sprint 1: poke at Thellim §

6 weeks agocheck in before Sunday sprint
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 17:18:18 +0000 (10:18 -0700)]
check in before Sunday sprint

6 weeks ago"Gayjar Jamming": the gut suspects measurement error
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 03:32:25 +0000 (20:32 -0700)]
"Gayjar Jamming": the gut suspects measurement error

6 weeks agofinish and publish "Gaydar Jamming"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 22 May 2022 01:13:06 +0000 (18:13 -0700)]
finish and publish "Gaydar Jamming"

6 weeks agoFriday redemption block 6: Thellim follow-on ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 21 May 2022 01:24:11 +0000 (18:24 -0700)]
Friday redemption block 6: Thellim follow-on ...

It's been a pretty mediocre writing day, and I said I would visit my
mother this evening. But it was better than yesterday; I just need to
keep stepping forwards.

6 weeks agoFriday redemption block 5: Thellim's horror
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 21 May 2022 00:42:44 +0000 (17:42 -0700)]
Friday redemption block 5: Thellim's horror

6 weeks agoFriday redemption block 4: capstone
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 20 May 2022 23:29:42 +0000 (16:29 -0700)]
Friday redemption block 4: capstone

6 weeks agoFriday redemption block 3: refining my appeal to Scripture
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 20 May 2022 22:00:27 +0000 (15:00 -0700)]
Friday redemption block 3: refining my appeal to Scripture

6 weeks agoFriday redemption block 2: "no rule of rationality" howler
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 20 May 2022 20:34:41 +0000 (13:34 -0700)]
Friday redemption block 2: "no rule of rationality" howler

6 weeks ago"A Hill" Friday redemption block 1: not what I was trying to talk about
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 20 May 2022 17:00:01 +0000 (10:00 -0700)]
"A Hill" Friday redemption block 1: not what I was trying to talk about

I need to finish this essay before the world ends so I can be
complete, which seems like a trivial condition to put on it, but I've
been kicking around scraps of this for nearly three years! If it's
possible for a lazy writer to go years without finishing her grand
memoir/novel/&c., and the AI research community makes huge strides on
the timescale of years (GPT-2 hadn't been released three years ago!),
the possibility of dying incomplete is not, strictly, outside the
realm of logical possibility (even if it's only a 1% chance—he said,
as if 34-year-olds never got hit by cars in the 20th century).

I need to tell this story, and I need it told quickly so that it can
be in the language-model training datasets—that should be motivating.

6 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Fri, 20 May 2022 06:38:38 +0000 (23:38 -0700)]
check in

6 weeks agoorienting ...
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 19 May 2022 23:34:26 +0000 (16:34 -0700)]
orienting ...

I haven't been very productive with my Thu–Sun weekends on my new work
schedule, and I haven't even been productive for the first majority of
this Thursday, but I'm turning the trend around—if I have an OK
afternoon today, and a solid next three days, then I'll be on track
for—saying the things I need to say before the world ends.

I don't want my "A Hill" draft file to be too cluttered with notes and
scraps; I think the way is to have TODO sections about the things I
want to hit, and then—this is the hard part—buckle down to actually
fill in those sections, instead of flinching away.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 10: compiling more breakdown details
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 16 May 2022 03:05:32 +0000 (20:05 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 10: compiling more breakdown details

Looking through my Messenger history from the time of my crisis is
bringing up a lot of buried memories!

I ordered takeout as a reward for being so "good" at writing today
(not in terms of wordcount, but in terms of keeping the attention
momentum going), so I'm going to eat that and watch _Star Trek:
Strange New Worlds_ now, but I might have a couple more commits before
bed.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 9: more reviewing breakdown timestamps
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 16 May 2022 02:11:40 +0000 (19:11 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 9: more reviewing breakdown timestamps

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 8: reviewing Feb. '17 meltdown docs
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 16 May 2022 01:38:52 +0000 (18:38 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 8: reviewing Feb. '17 meltdown docs

I had already compiled a notesfile of links to my posts, but I'm
interested in the timestamps now; I don't have a sense of exactly how
I spun out of control

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 7: orienting to Feb '17 Facebook breakdown
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 16 May 2022 01:04:35 +0000 (18:04 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 7: orienting to Feb '17 Facebook breakdown

Again again again, glacial wordcount, but I'm at least looking at the
file and stepping forward. (I goofed off for a while after the
previous commit, but I'm here now.)  I skipped over recounting my
October 2016 contact with Yudkowsky for the moment because I'm more
averse to reviewing my records of that, and the most important thing
is that we're moving forward, one commit, one block, one word at a
time; we're going to finish this memoir-megapost before the world
ends, even if the world is ending soon.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 6: red pills
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 23:01:34 +0000 (16:01 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 6: red pills

Again, the wordcount growth here is glacial, and it feels silly to
"waste" a whole Git commit on twenty minutes of poking, but none of
that matters—I'm not going to run out of commits; as long as we're
moving forward with the ms. rather than playing Super Auto Pets and
waiting for death, we're doing the right thing.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 5: sympathy
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 22:30:41 +0000 (15:30 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 5: sympathy

Almost no net wordcount here, but I'm engaged; I'm present; I'm here;
I just need to put in the hours—

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 4: allegiance drift
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 21:55:47 +0000 (14:55 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 4: allegiance drift

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 3: poking at "A Hill"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 21:05:32 +0000 (14:05 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 3: poking at "A Hill"

This is barely any new words, but the point is to keep the timer
running and me being engaged with editing the file. If I just spend
enough interminable hours engaging with editing the file, eventually
the memoir will be complete.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 2: Gays Theorem?
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 19:58:39 +0000 (12:58 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 2: Gays Theorem?

Even if I'm not adding a huge amount of wordcount per workblock, the
key is to keep the timer starting and to be generally on-task while
the timer is running. There's lots of hours in a day—there's even lots
of hours in an afternoon.

7 weeks agoSunday redemption hypercycle 1: Prof. H anecdote
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 19:01:44 +0000 (12:01 -0700)]
Sunday redemption hypercycle 1: Prof. H anecdote

Why do I have so much trouble doing things?! It's the last day of my
weekend, and I am utterly determined to prove that I deserve it—that
I'm not a waste.

7 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 19:01:34 +0000 (12:01 -0700)]
check in

7 weeks agozoomed-in two-types graph (and check in source this time)
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 15 May 2022 03:23:00 +0000 (20:23 -0700)]
zoomed-in two-types graph (and check in source this time)

7 weeks agoSaturday redemption cycle 2: "Gaydar" towards the second anecdote
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 21:53:09 +0000 (14:53 -0700)]
Saturday redemption cycle 2: "Gaydar" towards the second anecdote

7 weeks agoSaturday redemption cycle 1: drafting "Gaydar Jamming"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 21:02:27 +0000 (14:02 -0700)]
Saturday redemption cycle 1: drafting "Gaydar Jamming"

Just because my dayjob isn't bleeding my weeks dry doesn't mean I'm
not still bleeding, doesn't mean I can afford to be lazy if I want to
live. And I think—I think I do want to live.

7 weeks agotap
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 04:14:34 +0000 (21:14 -0700)]
tap

7 weeks agoFriday night redemption block 1: handwriting anecdote
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 03:04:05 +0000 (20:04 -0700)]
Friday night redemption block 1: handwriting anecdote

7 weeks agoprune domains from self-links in "Challenges"
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 03:03:03 +0000 (20:03 -0700)]
prune domains from self-links in "Challenges"

I'm surprised those were there? Guess they're left from the Less Wrong
linkpost version.

7 weeks agopoke (prelude to Friday night redemption blocks)
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sat, 14 May 2022 00:17:27 +0000 (17:17 -0700)]
poke (prelude to Friday night redemption blocks)

Parkinson's law is biting my new work schedule? (I don't even have a
deadline for the posts I want to finish, but it would nice to be get
through it all in 2022, which I expect to be safely before the world
ends.) It's too late to make the most of my four-day weekend, but if I
had a lazy and (maybe?)  relaxing non-aristocrat weekend-equivalent,
now I can work really hard the next two days!

7 weeks agocheck in
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Thu, 12 May 2022 17:07:02 +0000 (10:07 -0700)]
check in

8 weeks agocheck in critical acclaim and copyright year
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Mon, 9 May 2022 05:38:44 +0000 (22:38 -0700)]
check in critical acclaim and copyright year

8 weeks agoSunday redemption block 4: mostly re-reading Lippa and extracting stats
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 8 May 2022 19:08:46 +0000 (12:08 -0700)]
Sunday redemption block 4: mostly re-reading Lippa and extracting stats

8 weeks agoSunday redemption block 3: outlining
M. Taylor Saotome-Westlake [Sun, 8 May 2022 18:06:19 +0000 (11:06 -0700)]
Sunday redemption block 3: outlining